Bad Writing Game--Win Some GOLD!

Post by **Ananda** » Tue Nov 01, 2011 8:24 pm

Yay! Thank you!

The next contest will be...

WORST POLITCAL SPEECH EVER WRITTEN

Write the setting and a not too long worst political speech ever.
Prizes awarded in wgd.
Entry judging will be 10 november
Be creative!
Be horrible!

Post by **Shaun das Schaf** » Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:27 am

Onya Ananda!* And congrats Vraith.

*ETA: I'm kinda disappointed you didn't make an acceptance speech

Post by **shadowbinding shoe** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 8:11 pm

My fellow forum members, my friends, day after day we labor over our keyboards to better this honorable forum with our words. Though our fingers grow crooked in the effort, though our eyes grow dull, we know in our hearts that we did a good and worthy deed. And yet, I ask you, is there not a certain something missing from our sweat-drenched posts despite all our efforts? Is there not a certain gleam that's stubbornly lacking in them? They are good posts, honest posts, I do not dispute those facts, but they are not the best of all possible posts.

Today I stand before you and plead with you to remedy this mar on our board. You will say I dream too high, you will say I need to accept the realities we live in but I say to all of you, pish posh!

Pish posh! To every conundrum there is a solution and the solution to our problems is not a hardy one. With a small contribution from each of you, it will be possible to hire a team of professional Ghost-Writers to polish up our posts and make us all proud. Join me now to help me fulfill this dream. It is not impossible. It is not far-fetched. All it requires is a little bit of unselfishness from you, a little bit of love.

Post by **Ananda** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:22 pm

Anyone else going to submit an entry? One day left and only one entry has been submitted.

Post by **sgt.null** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 6:58 am

"If elected as a moderator here on Kevin's Watch I promise to eliminate three forums, so as to save money. The three in order Ancillary Documentation, Gravin Threndor and ummmm... There are three, yes three, the third is ummm. Ummmm, let me check my notes for the third. It must be right here, somewhere. Well I am sure the third one will turn up.... Ummm just give me a moment..."

Post by **shadowbinding shoe** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 2:53 pm

So who's it going to be? The one that promises you a better, more stream-lined Kevin's Watch or the one who wants to cut off pieces of our Board? Who you gonna choose? The dreamer or the penny-pincher?

Post by **Ananda** » Sun Nov 13, 2011 3:27 pm

Sorry, I was busy for the last few days and didn't have time to login. Since there were only two entries, I'll award you both 250 WGD. Both were great!

if either one of you wants to start the next round of competition, first come, first serve.

Post by **sgt.null** » Mon Nov 14, 2011 6:20 am

thank you for my half-win!

Post by **shadowbinding shoe** » Mon Nov 14, 2011 6:24 am

Ananda wrote:Sorry, I was busy for the last few days and didn't have time to login. Since there were only two entries, I'll award you both 250 WGD. Both were great!

Thank you! Thank you!

If we both won does this mean we have to come up with the next contest-subject together?

As a now certified politician I can freely confess that I have no idea how to give away money and what's more, I don't even have that kind of money on me (an unavoidable spending spree at the item store a few days ago left me in debt.) I suppose, being a half elected politician I can borrow from the community at large 10,000 WGD so we can continue this great competition?

Post by **shadowbinding shoe** » Wed Nov 16, 2011 7:18 pm

So...

I guess it's up to me. I have 200 WGD. This is the contest:

The world's economy has collapsed. Dollars, Euros and Zimbabwean dollars are now all worth the same, that is, less than the paper they were printed on. Little by little new order is restored. By a bizarre chain of coincidence the agreed upon currency becomes WGDs.

You have an idea how to make the world better again. You know it will work. All you need are a measly 200 WGD. You stand before the Temporary Committee and make your case.

The cheesiest idea will get the money!

Post by **Linna Heartbooger** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:43 pm

I LOVE the concept, shadowbinding shoe!!!

Post by **Linna Heartbooger** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:51 pm

Also, I just advertised this thread on FB by posting it to my sister's wall. (I'm hopin she'll come and lurk.)

So put that in your pipe and smoke it, you "Sig-man"/Vraith 'feel free to quote me in any way, shape, or form' dude!

(if anyone wants me to take this off FB, lemme know. I figure Google crawling us has already maxed out the creeped-ness of the Watch's content)

Post by **Linna Heartbooger** » Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:01 pm

We all know what a threat posting-bots are to our economy. They devalue our currency, and put the money in the hands of those who had the most bandwith to start with, and who are most willing to be unscrupulous with their words.

I have the software engineering experience, and have mapped out a strategic plan to create programs for our own bots to run... more on the details later. Anyway, these executables will find and detect non-human posters (with a 5% probability of false postives), and then deactivate the accounts of those millions of bots.

All I lack is the time. If you give me this one-time contract, then I can afford to put the program that's in my head to work for us all, and save our white-gold-standard economy.

(:-D P.S. I loved doing this!!! Savior for the wrong cause!!

)

Post by **DoctorGamgee** » Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:36 pm

My Fellow Donaldsonians...

Given the collapsed economy, we should seize this opportunity and reconstruct our world into a Post-Apocolyptic Donaldsonian Utopia.

With a meager 200 WGDs, I will train new Gravelingas and Eh-brands in the mystic arts, and send them out into the world, offering their teaching and understanding (at a small price, of course, which will help the world and me... I mean... um... US

). We will reconfigure the Land as it was meant to be (without those pesky Haruchai getting in the way!).

A wise investment, and when we have enough WGDs in the kettle, we will be able to order Wraiths of Andelaine from China (where I have already had herbalists working on crossing cranberries and garbanzos to create a perfect replica of aliantha and amanibhavam from rhubarb and ragweed).

All it will take is a measly 200 WGD to take over the world! Who's with me?!?!

Doc

Post by **shadowbinding shoe** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:17 am

Good proposals Linna Heartlistener and Doctor Gamgee.

Anyone else want to join? Make your own proposal or support one of the proposals for the win.

Post by **DoctorGamgee** » Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:44 pm

This just in from WinkieLeaks:

Documents uncovered in the WICKED EBLOGS of the Great WhiteGold Way have uncovered dastardly deeds about which the world MUST know.

The release of these documents at this hour of the election cycle will be called by some nothing more than an "Ocotber Surprise" trying to tank one of the candidates. But truth seekers (and all honorable people with them, even though the documents were not obtained by warrant but instead by insidious lawbreakers...don't ask me?!?) are bringing to light dastardly deeds discovered in the blogosphere: WinkieLeaks! Hundreds of words were combed from far and near to put together this bizarre story of corruption and despite! (Not to mention too much time on their hands...)

It seems that Winkies (the guards from the Wizard of OZ) have been sitting on this story, trying to keep their day-jobs on broadway out of the limelight of modern politics. But documents paint a bleak picture. One Winkie (Wee-Willie 3) confessed the whole thing:

"When Dorothy killed the Wicked Witch of the West (in the lean years, before WICKED made it to broadway) many of we Winkies had to get jobs as Night Security. My best friend, Stubby, got a job at a silicon valley spot, lots of computer techs and gurus seeking new ways to do things. His car had stalled on the PCH that night, so several of the Flying Monkies flew out and gave him a lift to his job.

It seems that one of the Techies saw the arrival and came upon an idea for using computerized flying monkies to "devalue our currency, and put the money in the hands of those who had the most bandwith to start with, and who are most willing to be unscrupulous with their words."

Stubby goes on, "I remember those words spilling out of the bushes in a rush of euphoric glee" (augmented by the 16 cans of Red Bull found in the dumpster the following day). But I didn't get a look at the person, so I let it go. Until I heard those words coming out of a candidate's mouth. And then it became clear to me!" He went on to speculate that the mastermind behind the "Save the Economy" anti-bot rhetoric was the one who wrote the bots based on the "Winged Monkey theory" And was about to name names as the writer asked for "this one-time contract" funding to turn off their own bots.

Sadly, Stubby never got to come forward with his testimony, as the lightboard at the WICKED theatrical run went dark, just as he was making his cross and he ended up head down inside the Pit's Tuba. the only way to extract him from this was to blow a blast upon the horn, which scrambled his brains and left him singing nothing but "It's a Small World Afterall."

We may never know the whole truth, but it HAD to be brought into the light. The voters will decide how best recover our economy, armed with the facts....

Your Humble Reporter signing .... hey, wait a minute ... where did these Flying Monkies come from ... Get away from me ... I've got bananas ,,, I'll .... AAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...Vote Linna Heartlistener...

Post by **Linna Heartbooger** » Tue Dec 13, 2011 2:55 am

Well, I don't see anything to worry about here... at all. no problem whatsoever.

(Looks like an unfortunate consequence of someone having too much energy/initiative/creativity in a world where sufficient resources seem unattainable.)

Post by **shadowbinding shoe** » Tue Dec 13, 2011 6:46 am

Impressive addition, DoctorGamgee.

I wasn't so sure about your proposal before but after these illuminating reveals I'm liking it more and more. Of course other people can vote differently. Will you do a follow-up of your own, Linna Heartlistener?

(I have no idea why these fine newspaper reading fellows have appeared instead of a smile. A news-bot-conspiracy???)

Post by **Linna Heartbooger** » Tue Dec 13, 2011 9:26 am

Naah, I see great value in my right to remain silent. =) (if that still exists in this monetarily-dystopian future)

Post by **shadowbinding shoe** » Wed Dec 14, 2011 9:10 am

If anyone wants to join, we'll wait for you until the end of the weekend.