Win Wayfriend's Money

[Menolly]

In this Test, the Survivors must bolster Donaldson's sparse prose with something more poetic and insightful.

Each Survivor must write an ode to the tentacle, such as Shetra might have composed as she was dragged under the water.

An ode (for the purposes of this test) is a poem written in an elevated, dignified manner - the way the people of the Land are wont to speak. It is written to express one's feelings about an object or an event, and relates those feelings to some high, abstract ideal. (One can easilly imagine what Shetra might have been feeling at that time!) An ode can have any rhyming scheme one chooses. However, it should have three sections/verses: the strophe, the antistrophe, and the epode. The strophe and the antistrophe have the same rhyming scheme, and the epode has a different one. There is no length requirement. Examples of "Pindaric" odes abound on the internet; please avail yourself of your favorite search engine.

The title of your ode must be Ode to the Tentacle which has Caught Me.

oy vey...

against SD?
he who, in my opinion, is second only to way in TCTC encyclopedic knowledge and is a self-professed poet to boot?
may I just forfeit this round?

[Frostheart Grueburn]

I will only comment with this old half-arsed cartoon doodle.

[Savor Dam]

Really?

If only I had even the slightest inkling where to begin.
I'll get there.
...I hope.

and

I really am not a storyteller.

but she garnered more votes than anyone else in that round.

I think I'm in serious trouble here...

which drew this response from Way:

Meh. You got the most votes last round. So Tiny Violin for you.

and she came in second in that round.

Oh geez...

but she again came in second.

against SD?
can I just forfeit this round?

So it is time for the chorus of Watchers to chant

• No, Menolly. You can't forfeit. You've come this far, and exceeded your underestimation of yourself at every turn. Show us what you've got!

After all, as DPJ said:

This round’s concept I must applaud
Let’s hear no fear of work that’s flawed
Just buckle down and do your best
Be sure your Muse will do the rest

[wayfriend]

Thank you, DPJ,
for inspiring us all.
(Some of us, at least.)

(in-spi-er-ing. Four syllables.)

I know I failed to deliver for a while, and for that I apologize.

But WGD is WGD, eh? Go for it, Menolly and Savor Dam.

This is completely a random reference, but I ran across this article about Thomas Covenant, hentai tentacular rape, and Spiderman - at the same time! - just recently. link (I had never even known about this stuff until I searched google images for a tentacle for my Survivor: Sarangrave logo. Yeeks. My kids are never using the internet.)

[Menolly]

*grumble*

[Savor Dam]

Grumble not, ahava. It is unseemly. You can do this.

• Way says so -- and it is his game!
  
  DPJ says so, and he once called you "omnipresent optimist." The recurrent pessimism you have shown in the early stages of each round here seem to contradict his opinion of you, but you keep doing well despite your "I can't..." grousing. You don't want to disappoint that masked stalker, nu?
  
  I say so. Who knows you better than I?

Pull your nose up and Play!

[Frostheart Grueburn]

Wow, I didn't think I'd see anyone here with a possibly worse confidence in their English writing than I do. SD's right, grumble not, get tentacling! You've been competing against him all the time here.

[wayfriend]

If it helps, remember who the judges are - the ten or so people who will vote.

And remember, it's 10,000 white gold dollars. Ten Thousand!

So screw your courage to the sticking place and into the breach!

[aliantha]

<gets popcorn>

[Lefdmae Deemalr Effaeldm]

Come on, Menolly How scared was I supposed to be then - taking part in the WWM game with such contestants? English is my third language after all. Perhaps I did make a few mistakes - well, I didn't find them, so no worries for me

[Menolly]

And remember, it's 10,000 white gold dollars. Ten Thousand!

bah.
that doesn't make any difference, nu?

And SD, I want you to reminder Menolly that you're probably giving her all the money anyway.

but, I'll give it a shot.

[Savor Dam]

Image used by permission of Hue of Bone
(apparently the permission request also inspired Hue to create new Shetra images…but I will stick with the one I received consent to use.)

Ode To The Tentacle Which Has Caught Me
Snatched from the raft by the tentacle’s clasp
I had no real chance to breathe a last gasp
While steering a course through Sarangrave’s sump
I was dragged to depths where I’d never jump
It happened so fast, with no one to share in
My fate except a Bloodguard named Cerrin
I trust he will go to every extreme
To liberate me from this fetid stream
Persist, Haruchai, to dive and to grope
Your Vow to Land service is my only hope

Our mission to Seareach; it mustn’t fail
If I am lost, that’s the coffin’s last nail
So much has gone wrong, so much to regret
Gilden on fire while we’re kresh beset
Entered the swamp, Hoerkin encountered
Now I am dragged endlessly downward
Then there’s my husband, so filled with self-doubt
He cannot believe he’s a Lord with some clout
Were he by my side, not Hyrim of Hoole
He’d be more help than that corpulent fool

Who am I kidding; it’s not Hyrim’s fault
Held fast by suckers, my plans preempted
By the tentacle’s grip, strong as basalt
In the depths, by Despair I am tempted
Instead, I'll trust in the grace of Creator
In the Bloodguard and Hyrim’s potential
That they will strive to do something greater
And achieve an outcome providential

[Menolly]

(here's hoping haiku, limerick, and pure plot nonsense scores humor points, at least)

Ode to the Tentacle which has Caught Me
~Lord Shetra, the glutton
…and you all thought you knew me

‘tis I, not Hyrim
That should be judged a glutton
Though not for mutton.

frutti di mare!
Those rare Giant-brought treats thrill
This Lord; squid to krill

You rise to strike fear in the swamp
Rejoice as I delve on this romp
“This tentacle foretells
Quite the feast!” I yell
My life now summits as I chomp

[hue of fuzzpaws]

Image used by permission of Hue of Bone
(apparently the permission request also inspired Hue to create new Shetra images…but I will stick with the one I received consent to use.)

It sure did

[Dread Poet Jethro]

The river around the point of Lord Shetra's disappearance started to boil. A turmoil in the water sent up gouts of blood and hunks of black flesh. Steam arose from the current.

Lord Shetra's Bloodguard
Possessed a secret weapon
Lethal flatulence

You may well doubt this
But consider this: have you
Heard of Cerrin gas?

[Frostheart Grueburn]

*hits Menolly with a pillow for all the vain grousing*

Well, at least the audience got spared from any Rule 34 lyrics featuring squirming Swamp Things.


This thread has inspired quite a pile of art and side poetry, eh...

[sindatur]

The river around the point of Lord Shetra's disappearance started to boil. A turmoil in the water sent up gouts of blood and hunks of black flesh. Steam arose from the current.

Lord Shetra's Bloodguard
Possessed a secret weapon
Lethal flatulence

You may well doubt this
But consider this: have you
Heard of Cerrin gas?

Oooooohhhh, nicely played

[wayfriend]

Congratulations to our two Survivors Laureate!



Now, we must see who has bested whom. Vote ... now.

[ussusimiel]

I vote for Menolly.

She got me with frutti di mare (even though we're in a swamp ). I'll never be able to read that passage again without thinking, "That'd make one great plate of calamari!"

SD did well, but he let himself down by being overambitious with his final three-syllable rhyme. 'Potential' rhymes with something like 'grotential', but not 'providential' (well actually, if you stress the 'pro' syllable it's okay. Hmmm! No, too much cleverality for my taste )

u.

[Menolly]

way, will you post in Announcements that voting is open?