Burgers a la Eddie

[emotional leper]

This is an amusing recipe for hamburgers I observed the other day.

Step 1: Have girlfriend stay up till 7 in the morning seasoning and shaping patties.

Step 2: Burn off your eyebrows lighting the grill.

Step 3: Get some alcohol. You're going to need it.

Step 4: Burn the burgers because your girl's temperature controls don't work.

Step 5: Drop several cooked burgers on the ground for your dog to eat.

Step 6: Be amazed and alarmed at the fact that your grill doesn't go out when you turn off the propane. Put grill out with a squirt bottle.

Step 7: Relight grill to cook more burgers because you dropped all the cooked burgers on the ground.

Step 8: Get another Long Island. Actually, make it 3. We're thirsty.

Step 9: Get someone to help you get the burgers on the plate.

Step 10: Have someone else carry them inside.

Step 11: Have only one in four people invited to party show up. 90% of burgers go uneaten.

Nothing tastes quite as delicious as misfortunate silliness.

[Icarus Unfallen]

Step 4: Burn the burgers because your girl's temperature controls don't work.

Consider yourself fortunate. Clearly she runs too hot, which is ever so much better than too cold.

[Vader]

I operate my girl with charcoal. She ain't got no temperature control - it's all about me having a knack for hot stuff.

[Vraith]

I operate my girl with charcoal. She ain't got no temperature control - it's all about me having a knack for hot stuff.

But then anyone can come along fire her up when you are not around.
I mean, just an example, slosh some alcohol, whip out a match, and BOOM! We're COOKING.
[BTW, there are some good things to say about the band "Relentless Cookout." Like they're fun to watch in a bar....
OK, that may be the only good thing to say, I don't really remember, I'll have to go see if they exist in my closet or on Spotify.