Go to a local mall & pick a random person and follow them everywhere. Be obvious when the person looks at you, by hiding behind signs and peeking around the edge.
Buy a burger and give them a strange amount of money. If it costs 5.33, give them $11.61.
Put a towel on your head and go to the airport and pass through security checkpoints. Don’t say anything, just wait in line, go through the checkpoints & do it again. If anyone bothers you kneel down & do long bows & exclaim nonsense in your best Indian accent. If you get arrested, you can tell them the truth, that you were just doing this because you were bored waiting for the Oscars.
Walk up behind people on the street & talk about doing something really horrible to your family. Then walk past & say hi in your best happy voice. Then quickly turn around & say, I forgot my ketchup.
Copy some money on a black & white copy machine & go to a convenience store & buy beer. If they give you a hard time, try to bribe them with more copied money. “No, I think you do want to sell me the beer.” When they try to kick you out of the store, wave your hand in between you and them & say, “I want to sell you the beer”.
Drive erratically in front of a police car and when you get pulled over ask them if it is illegal to call them a $@#(*$#$%. If they wonder why you are asking, tell them, most people can’t recognize it, you dollar-sign at-symbol pound-sign left-parenthesis Multiply dollar-sign pound-sign dollar-sign percentage!
Stand in front of an elevator & look at everyone with great intensity, reach inside & press 2, then look at them with even greater intensity and allow the doors to close. Then run up the stairs really fast and jump in front of the elevator as the doors open & say, “I know you were talking about me.”
Go to a bank and stand in line. Then turn around & say hi really nice to the person behind you. Then face forward & drop your pen. When the person behind you bends down to pick it up, push them away & yell, “HEY THAT’S MINE!”
Call up your work and explain that you won’t be making it in today because it’s raining and your car could get wet.
Whenever your boss says anything to you or anyone else, shout out, “SIR YES SIR!”
Put your arm around a complete stranger & say, “Okay let’s go!”, and start singing a stupid song and try skipping down the street with them. When they become upset, look shocked and say, “I thought you were Margret”. When they say that it is plain that they are not Margret, say “That’s okay, Let’s go!, and try to get them to skip with you again. Then when they pull away, go, “Look, I’m a bobble-head”, and try to do a bobble-head impression.
Go to a sporting event and watch the whole thing and then when everyone is leaving, repeat “Make a path! I’m not Sane!” over and over and over as you walk.
Insist on doing something way over the top with your significant other, something that they know you would never do. Keep this up until they finally agree & then say, “YOU SICK $#@*(&@, WHAT”S WRONG WITH YOU??????”
Start telling your kids that the sky is really orange, a spoon is a tambourine, and as many things as you can keep track of. Tell them that other kids are just messed up in the head & that if they don’t want to be messed up in the head they better start getting to the truth. Then after awhile, a week or so, say that you were just kidding and begin calling them by a different name & end every sentence you say with that name. When they get really mad, tell them you made a mistake and adopted the wrong kid. LOL!
On your way around town, occasionally whirl around and say STOP THAT!, and then continue on.
Fun things to do while waiting for Oscars night
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Revelstone_dweller
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Moksha Foul
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