Moderators: deer of the dawn, Furls Fire
So fixed some links to them both, no need to have google adventures. Still don't know if this is a good idea, these wallow in abysmal karma. Fever must've softened my skull or something. (Why resurrect this thread now, though? 
Not like I inquired about the hell-levels yesterday...) Do take that 5-min break from the Tank.
Since I was the one who bumped the thread after ten months, that question goes to me...and the answer is that after seeing a smattering of posts from you crop up elsewhere on the the Watch recently, I decided to fish a bit for more posts.Zorm / Frostheart /__ wrote:Why resurrect this thread now, though?
Thanks for the appreciation, though it's more like Frosty's and Effy's wiki. And did you mention you can leave comments below the pages? Comments about the wiki are pretty hard to find elsewhere, and a few words about the contents or some links found and added could be really appreciated.Savor Dam wrote:Effy's wiki site sure make that easier!
Now he attempted to cover himself with his drinking horn, but the task proved as successful as trying to stuff a turnip into a thimble
(I hope *** wasn't a swearword.) Glad you find the emotional effect...well...effective. I adjusted the tone in a couple of places as the original was apparently too cold and grim. I'll write more when I'm not relying on a wlan/mobile combo, but thanks for the comment. I disagree with Effy as well when it comes to significant alterations to the grim mood; in my opinion a hurt/comfort tale becomes more effective if you first capsize bucketfuls of thick, sticky angst over the reader and then let passions flare up. And, indeed, the 2nd chrons ooze with distilled woe; no character is saved from its pervasive presence. However, all of the in-topic talk amid Twilight and Dante and Soviet cartoons and so forth relate to revision #1 (this is #2), and the little tweaks I did a year back alter the behavior of the Giants in general, plus while some of the conclusion was left to the reader to decide, now it’s explicit that a couple of drowsy kisses did not suffice between Mourn and Pitchwife. 
It worked for me! ). It's also why it takes me a lot longer to get through a book than others - I'm a slow reader, but I also like to understand everything I'm reading - not necessarily all the words, but the scene that is taking place at the time. If you're going to tell a Giantish tale, then there's no point in rushing through scenes! Glad to hear that about the pacing and language. As for crits, it’s impossible to satisfy everyone, so that’s my strategy as well: Apart from actual grammar or spelling errors and stylistic pratfalls that scream like a hog with thistles shoved up its bum, I select suggestions here and there. Sometimes, those require a tad of seasoning (or the reawakening of inspiration) before actual implementation. To some, the “Giantish style” may work, to some it won’t, and someone did judge it too difficult. Nevertheless, one must retain a semblance of the original: Pitchwife abruptly chattering like a matured rap artist would seem quite improper next to the original that has gobbled an entire library’s worth of dictionary-thesauri. 
I just wish I’d gotten relevant feedback when both the plot and the mood still lingered fresh in my mind; when I began editing this for the second time, I had to mentally kick myself into a suitable mirebuddle of glumness by typing a practice piece (With Rime Coldspray as the protagonist; this one has never gone through external proofing. Have asked for help a couple of times as well...). 
michaelm wrote:I have been meaning to read a lot of things here, but it's hard to find the time. My biggest passion is music and that tends to be what I do in preference to reading. I often read in the hour or less before I sleep, but it's been hard to delve into the works of anyone on this board.Frostheart Grueburn wrote:Not to sound disheartening, Eff, but I don't think most people here are interested in this sort of thing at all. :/ I don't know if the situation was different two years or so ago, but now it's very, very difficult to get even one or two readers, not to mention feedback. My bigger project went downhill from the start. Quarter a year of crickets. Had to ask for help over half a dozen times. Eventually culminated into name-calling. This sort of experience doesn't encourage to try again, no matter how many ideas one might have. Nor does it help overcome potential confidence problems.
People may occasionally look at pictures, but getting concrit even on them has become difficult lately. You can count those taking part in the dissections with one and a half hands, and I gather they were supposed to be one of the 'bigger events' here.
It intrigued me to see that you had written something, as I have liked your artwork and it made me wonder what you had written. I almost feel like I should apologize to anyone who had already posted links to their work and I had seen it, as I have pushed yours to the front of the line.
Anyway, I read it and overall I like it. You asked for feedback, so here's some:
The flow is good, and the shorter paragraphs suit the story well.
There are some odd things I noticed, like the stuttering start of sentences which I didn't see in Donaldson's work and seems a little out of place. Also, the use of the word "bloody" seemed strange coming out of a giant's mouth.
I like the attention to detail as you don't overdescribe anything, but use a good amount of adjectives to create enough of the detail.
I didn't think it was soppy at all, and I think the relatively small amount that Donaldson wrote about the pair of them hints at much of what you have written. I don't think you veered from his hints of the private nature of their relationship.
Of course, I haven't read the Final Chronicles, so there could be things I'm missing, so judge my comments on only having read about giants in the First and Second Chronicles.
They do in fact swear a damn lot, in particular the dainty, prim, sword-swinging Giantesses, albeit that any specific wordings usually become lumped within "she muttered Giantish profanities", "Stonemaged listed a series of offenses to Bluntfist's parents", and so forth. 
