THOOLAH has come to redeem your mortal soul.
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- TheFallen
- Master of Innominate Surquedry
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Linden - much like anchovies - is about as appealing as Satan's butthole. Thus only THOOLAH offers the true path to enlightenment.
It's a well-known fact that the lost and deluded members of that depraved sect, Linden's Army (I shudder even to mention its name) carry out obscene rituals where, after munching on countless anchovies, they sit down in a ring and spend hours at a time doing precisely nothing except for examining their own navels, agonising over their self-worth, weeping and wringing their hands and contemplating the anchovy oil stains on their pants, in case there is some sort of mystic message contained therein (There actually is... it's "take a shower and get a life, you sad, fishy-smelling loser"). All this to honour the name of their false idol, Linden Avery, the princess of procrastination, the imperatrix of inaction, the arch-duchess of annoyingness, the sovereign of self-obsession and the baroness of blubbing (to give her her full title).
'Nuff said.
It's a well-known fact that the lost and deluded members of that depraved sect, Linden's Army (I shudder even to mention its name) carry out obscene rituals where, after munching on countless anchovies, they sit down in a ring and spend hours at a time doing precisely nothing except for examining their own navels, agonising over their self-worth, weeping and wringing their hands and contemplating the anchovy oil stains on their pants, in case there is some sort of mystic message contained therein (There actually is... it's "take a shower and get a life, you sad, fishy-smelling loser"). All this to honour the name of their false idol, Linden Avery, the princess of procrastination, the imperatrix of inaction, the arch-duchess of annoyingness, the sovereign of self-obsession and the baroness of blubbing (to give her her full title).
'Nuff said.
Last edited by TheFallen on Mon Jan 06, 2014 5:51 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Newsflash: the word "irony" doesn't mean "a bit like iron"
Shockingly, some people have claimed that I'm egocentric... but hey, enough about them
"If you strike me down, I shall become far stronger than you can possibly imagine."
_______________________________________________
I occasionally post things here because I am invariably correct on all matters, a thing which is educational for others less fortunate.
Shockingly, some people have claimed that I'm egocentric... but hey, enough about them
"If you strike me down, I shall become far stronger than you can possibly imagine."
_______________________________________________
I occasionally post things here because I am invariably correct on all matters, a thing which is educational for others less fortunate.
- aTOMiC
- Lord
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TheFallen wrote:Linden - much like anchovies - is about as appealing as Satan's butthole. Thus only THOOLAH offers the true path to enlightenment.
'Nuff said.
I simply can't find the words to describe how much I agree with the above statement. All existing language is inadequate in the extreme.
"If you can't tell the difference, what difference does it make?"
"There is tic and toc in atomic" - Neil Peart
Holy shit, what an awesome post! THOOLAH forever!TheFallen wrote:Linden - much like anchovies - is about as appealing as Satan's butthole. Thus only THOOLAH offers the true path to enlightenment.
It's a well-known fact that the lost and deluded members of that depraved sect, Linden's Army (I shudder even to mention its name) carry out obscene rituals where, after munching on countless anchovies, they sit down in a ring and spend hours at a time doing precisely nothing except for examining their own navels, agonising over their self-worth, weeping and wringing their hands and contemplating the anchovy oil stains on their pants, in case there is some sort of mystic message contained therein (There actually is... it's "take a shower and get a life, you sad, fishy-smelling loser"). All this to honour the name of their false idol, Linden Avery, the princess of procrastination, the imperatrix of inaction, the arch-duchess of annoyingness, the sovereign of self-obsession and the baroness of blubbing (to give her her full title).
'Nuff said.
- CerealKiller
- Servant of the Land
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I am rendered speechless by the awesomeness of that postTheFallen wrote:Linden - much like anchovies - is about as appealing as Satan's butthole. Thus only THOOLAH offers the true path to enlightenment.
It's a well-known fact that the lost and deluded members of that depraved sect, Linden's Army (I shudder even to mention its name) carry out obscene rituals where, after munching on countless anchovies, they sit down in a ring and spend hours at a time doing precisely nothing except for examining their own navels, agonising over their self-worth, weeping and wringing their hands and contemplating the anchovy oil stains on their pants, in case there is some sort of mystic message contained therein (There actually is... it's "take a shower and get a life, you sad, fishy-smelling loser"). All this to honour the name of their false idol, Linden Avery, the princess of procrastination, the imperatrix of inaction, the arch-duchess of annoyingness, the sovereign of self-obsession and the baroness of blubbing (to give her her full title).
'Nuff said.
- Vraith
- The Gap Into Spam
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I agree, it is a remarkable post. I laughed out loud...really. IRL!dlbpharmd wrote:Holy shit, what an awesome post!TheFallen wrote:Linden - much like anchovies - is about as appealing as Satan's butthole. Thus only THOOLAH offers the true path to enlightenment.
It's a well-known fact that the lost and deluded members of that depraved sect, Linden's Army (I shudder even to mention its name) carry out obscene rituals where, after munching on countless anchovies, they sit down in a ring and spend hours at a time doing precisely nothing except for examining their own navels, agonising over their self-worth, weeping and wringing their hands and contemplating the anchovy oil stains on their pants, in case there is some sort of mystic message contained therein (There actually is... it's "take a shower and get a life, you sad, fishy-smelling loser"). All this to honour the name of their false idol, Linden Avery, the princess of procrastination, the imperatrix of inaction, the arch-duchess of annoyingness, the sovereign of self-obsession and the baroness of blubbing (to give her her full title).
'Nuff said.
It is such a stunning work of pure imagination, it almost makes one wish it was, in some small way, true.
[spoiler]Sig-man, Libtard, Stupid piece of shit. change your text color to brown. Mr. Reliable, bullshit-slinging liarFucker-user.[/spoiler]
the difference between evidence and sources: whether they come from the horse's mouth or a horse's ass.
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
the hyperbole is a beauty...for we are then allowed to say a little more than the truth...and language is more efficient when it goes beyond reality than when it stops short of it.
the difference between evidence and sources: whether they come from the horse's mouth or a horse's ass.
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
the hyperbole is a beauty...for we are then allowed to say a little more than the truth...and language is more efficient when it goes beyond reality than when it stops short of it.
- Savor Dam
- Will Be Herd!
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There is a tiny sliver of truth. I do munch anchovies (not countless ones, but more than the zero Dam-sel would choose for me to have and more than the "every other slice" policy of Menolly's) and procrastination is one of my vices. However it is not *my* navel that holds my attention, but the OPALs in other navels.
Love prevails.
~ Tracie Mckinney-Hammon
Change is not a process for the impatient.
~ Barbara Reinhold
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always count on the support of Paul.
~ George Bernard Shaw
~ Tracie Mckinney-Hammon
Change is not a process for the impatient.
~ Barbara Reinhold
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always count on the support of Paul.
~ George Bernard Shaw
- aTOMiC
- Lord
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I wish with all my heart that it wasn't true. This thread wouldn't exist at all and we wouldn't be a house divided.Vraith wrote: It is such a stunning work of pure imagination, it almost makes one wish it was, in some small way, true.[/color]
But alas pen has been put to paper and the Chronicles are finally complete for good or ill.
LA SUCKS!!!
I had to get one more in.
"If you can't tell the difference, what difference does it make?"
"There is tic and toc in atomic" - Neil Peart
- Fist and Faith
- Magister Vitae
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- Frostheart Grueburn
- The Gap Into Spam
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Let add to the fire...
There is one who is a bigger Linden Avery fan than all the watch...
By his mere presence, he nullifies THOOLAH...
He is so much a fan of Linden, he did the only thing anyone can do.
Spoiler
He married her..
So to not like his wife is to not like him...
So to not like his wife is to not like him...
Last edited by Ur Dead on Tue Feb 04, 2014 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
What's this silver looking ring doing on my finger?
- aTOMiC
- Lord
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Let's be nice, guys. This isn't a competition. We're all fans of Stephen R. Donaldson and we all love the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.
There is plenty of common ground to go around.
We all agree that Donaldson is a master storyteller.
We all agree that "Covenant is Donaldson's genius".
We all agree that eating Aliantha is a life changing experience.
We all agree that Andelain is breathtakingly beautiful.
We all agree that pissing off a Cavewight without possessing a magic ring to defend yourself is suicide.
And the most important thing we all can agree on is that Linden Avery Sucks!
I feel so much better finally getting that off my chest since I've kept my feelings on the matter to myself all this time.
Ahhhhhhh......
I would very much like to thank Linden's Army for keeping this thread alive. We couldn't have done it without you.
We of THOOLAH are in your debt.
There is plenty of common ground to go around.
We all agree that Donaldson is a master storyteller.
We all agree that "Covenant is Donaldson's genius".
We all agree that eating Aliantha is a life changing experience.
We all agree that Andelain is breathtakingly beautiful.
We all agree that pissing off a Cavewight without possessing a magic ring to defend yourself is suicide.
And the most important thing we all can agree on is that Linden Avery Sucks!
I feel so much better finally getting that off my chest since I've kept my feelings on the matter to myself all this time.
Ahhhhhhh......
I would very much like to thank Linden's Army for keeping this thread alive. We couldn't have done it without you.
We of THOOLAH are in your debt.
"If you can't tell the difference, what difference does it make?"
"There is tic and toc in atomic" - Neil Peart
- ussusimiel
- The Gap Into Spam
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Ah, yes! The sweet sound of LA whining through the trees!
Without them we would not get to sing our songs of THOOLAH
with such gusto and joy
The discordant harmonies are music to our ears!
Great picture, as well. Thanks, Frosty!
THOOLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
u.
Without them we would not get to sing our songs of THOOLAH
with such gusto and joy
The discordant harmonies are music to our ears!
Great picture, as well. Thanks, Frosty!
THOOLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
u.
Tho' all the maps of blood and flesh
Are posted on the door,
There's no one who has told us yet
What Boogie Street is for.
Are posted on the door,
There's no one who has told us yet
What Boogie Street is for.
- TheFallen
- Master of Innominate Surquedry
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I thought I'd post this little ditty for general entertainment and education.
Covenant's Song
(To the tune of "Yesterday" by The Beatles).
Leprosy... I'm not half the man I used to be.
Pieces keep on dropping off of me
Since I contracted leprosy.
Avery... Linden's even worse than leprosy.
She keeps whining on and on at me.
Oh please shut up and let me be.
Why I am her beau, I don't know, I'd rather flee.
If I must choose between, I prefer my leprosy.
Eternally... there's some loser crying over me.
Jesus Christ, it's Linden Avery.
Can't she just leave and set me free?
Recently... I can't feel any extremity.
Plus Linden's whining is benumbing me.
Please God, let her be munched by She.
Leprosy... my right hand's digits run from one to three.
Please spare me from Ms. Avery.
I'd rather have my leprosy.
And if you don't already know it, can I also heartily recommend Effy and Frosty's excellent Wikia - to be found here - which should appeal to those of you with a wryer sense of humour.
Covenant's Song
(To the tune of "Yesterday" by The Beatles).
Leprosy... I'm not half the man I used to be.
Pieces keep on dropping off of me
Since I contracted leprosy.
Avery... Linden's even worse than leprosy.
She keeps whining on and on at me.
Oh please shut up and let me be.
Why I am her beau, I don't know, I'd rather flee.
If I must choose between, I prefer my leprosy.
Eternally... there's some loser crying over me.
Jesus Christ, it's Linden Avery.
Can't she just leave and set me free?
Recently... I can't feel any extremity.
Plus Linden's whining is benumbing me.
Please God, let her be munched by She.
Leprosy... my right hand's digits run from one to three.
Please spare me from Ms. Avery.
I'd rather have my leprosy.
And if you don't already know it, can I also heartily recommend Effy and Frosty's excellent Wikia - to be found here - which should appeal to those of you with a wryer sense of humour.
Newsflash: the word "irony" doesn't mean "a bit like iron"
Shockingly, some people have claimed that I'm egocentric... but hey, enough about them
"If you strike me down, I shall become far stronger than you can possibly imagine."
_______________________________________________
I occasionally post things here because I am invariably correct on all matters, a thing which is educational for others less fortunate.
Shockingly, some people have claimed that I'm egocentric... but hey, enough about them
"If you strike me down, I shall become far stronger than you can possibly imagine."
_______________________________________________
I occasionally post things here because I am invariably correct on all matters, a thing which is educational for others less fortunate.
- Frostheart Grueburn
- The Gap Into Spam
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FYI. :twisted:
Furthermore, I've spammed this quote to...how many threads now, and not a single thoolahian has been able to contradict me!
//this time zone off to bed
Furthermore, I've spammed this quote to...how many threads now, and not a single thoolahian has been able to contradict me!
Spoiler
The literal Linden’s Army (for indeed one happens to exist complete with a seasoned warlady) consists of some the bravest, most steadfast characters of the LC’s. Show me a handful of passages where Rime Coldspray whines or studies grass stains on her cataphract, and I acquiesce. Well, Grueburn admitted to moaning oft, but that was a dirty joke shared between her and Latebirth, clearly intended to make fun of Jeremiah’s innocence.
- Icarus Unfallen
- <i>Elohim</i>
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