The Naughty TCTC Limerick Thread (18+)

Post by **stonemaybe** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 3:25 pm

But it was already too late
He found Linden in quite a state
Ur-viles had been busy
Loremaster was dizzy
Cos linden she just could not wait

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 4:05 pm

Nicely done, Stonemaybe!!!

Post by **The Eighth Ward** » Sun Nov 25, 2012 6:48 pm

There is a young Rant, Absolain
The length of whose c_ck is insane
When he lets go of fear
What is that we hear?
Screaming Hustin and Chatelaine!!

*****************

Kemper Kasreyn of the Gyre
Seldom felt the flame of desire
but when he took stock
of the length of Rant's c_ck
his desire rose higher and higher!!

Post by **peter** » Mon Nov 26, 2012 4:17 pm

Not easy to like was TC
In fact he could be a right B
Some people they felt
his name was mis-spelt -
It should have been CVNT

Post by **DukkhaWaynhim** » Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:14 pm

There once was a man from Soaring
who went off for a week of whoring
upon his return
his wood was a-burn
and also his Tree was flame-roaring.

Post by **Savor Dam** » Sun Jun 08, 2014 5:42 am

This thread is too good to lie fallow...so here is something I posted in a Win Wayfriend's Money game nearly two years ago. The challenge was to craft a limerick that brought Quagmire, a character from the TV cartoon Family Guy into the story of the Mission to the Giants in The Illearth War:

There once was a horn-dog, Quagmire
Who did to a Lordship aspire
But desire to mate
Led this darn reprobate
In haste to bedchambers retire

When the Lords rode off east to their quest
(And in time had to face dreaded skest)
He ignored his orders
And went to his quarters
Where desires were never repressed

A conquest was once heard to say
“Oh dear, I am wearing away
The inside of my thighs
Look just like mince pies
For Quagmire won’t shave every day”

What fate for this lover so ardent?
The end of his tale’s quite important
Our oversexed schnook
Got moved to a new book
As Master Eremis of Mordant

Post by **michaelm** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 7:03 pm

Covenant saw Lena and tried her
And decided to play 'helmet hider'
The leper was quick
And stuck in his d**k
But he left his member inside her

Sorry!

Post by **peter** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 3:23 pm

Ouch!

Post by **michaelm** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 3:35 pm

Sorry, leper jokes are too easy...

Post by **michaelm** » Fri Aug 22, 2014 3:50 pm

Behind Covenant's bathroom door
A yellow stain lay on the floor
When two fingers are missing
It's hard when you're pissing
And his aim is decidedly poor

Post by **Frostheart Grueburn** » Fri Aug 22, 2014 5:02 pm

Yarrr perkele it lives, and there's a new bawdy punster among us!

A repost, as I can has intrawebz and computers today.

A luscious beauty named Stonemage
In the arts of forestry -- What a sage!
E'en a branch limp for a hundred years
After her care bounteous white fruit bears
Such woodwitchcraft no Forestal will enrage

Mislead not let the graying curls
Stamina immense within her unfurls
On the battleground she exhausts everyone
The Ironhand, who again gasps, "Give me some!"
She rides and rides till your head whirls...

Exalt: now behold his keen sword-might
Nimbly wields that ponderous glaive and aright
Bested e'en the gutsy Grueburn, this spring-buck
Widened her worlds till she waddled like a duck
Yet ne'er she complained about that fight

Now, about her -- the name should not lead astray
Only tickle the brawny, busty warrior the right way!
Then ware of earthquakes and remain on top
Oh, will that extravagant moaning never stop?
A Swordmain will one thereafter not gainsay

Alas, allow Kindwind not to eat beans
The following night, she the camp demeans
Joy is neither in the nose that smells
Nor in the hearing ears -- this the tale tells
A wind unkind worse than one weens

Post by **michaelm** » Fri Aug 22, 2014 5:18 pm

A giant eating beans never fails
To produce some prodigious gales
With his pants to his knees
On a ship it's a breeze
To put lots of wind in the sails

Post by **Frostheart Grueburn** » Fri Aug 22, 2014 5:40 pm

Ah, that explains the success of their seamanship! I do wonder if Starfare's Gem was too heavy, however, as they had to shift to Plan C and harness the nicor in the absence of winds and...these other winds.
(Brilliant.

)

Post by **michaelm** » Fri Aug 22, 2014 5:54 pm

Linden Avery was socially awkward
But diamondraught made her more forward
After a flagon or three
She'd get down on her knees
And service the whole of the Warward

Post by **michaelm** » Tue Aug 26, 2014 5:29 pm

The Ur-Lord insulted their vow
But the Bloodguard just raised an eyebrow
When he lay down to snooze
Bannor shit in his shoes
And wiped his ass on his towel

Post by **michaelm** » Tue Sep 23, 2014 2:22 pm

Kevin's Watch is high in the air
So vertigo suffers beware
The Unbeliever looked down
From the tip of its crown
Then needed some new underwear