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peter
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Post by peter »

What a great thread Ali! I came across it the other day and absolutely banged post out without thought or plan of any kind. It was entierly extempory and I've spent the last couple of days praying that I haven't offended all of my friends on the Watch. [I have no right-wing sympathies whatsoever, but perhaps the piece does reveal a deep seated need to shock.]

Hashi and michael's posts are the only ones I have read as yet, but I will return to read the earlier contributions shortly!
President of Peace? You fucking idiots!

"I know what America is. America is a thing that you can move very easily. Move it in the right direction. They won't get in the way." (Benjamin Netenyahu 2001.)

....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'

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michaelm
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Post by michaelm »

peter wrote: I've spent the last couple of days praying that I haven't offended all of my friends on the Watch. [I have no right-wing sympathies whatsoever, but perhaps the piece does reveal a deep seated need to shock.]
I think most people suspend their judgment of others when it's fiction though. Unless it's very obvious support, it's just a vehicle for the storyline.

Some years ago I read what were considered the 'best' biographies of Churchill and Hitler. The fact that I read a biography of Hitler disturbed some people, but I don't think that the fact I read a historical biography (Ian Kershaw's two volume biography - highly recommended if you have an interest in this part of European history) makes me in any way sympathetic to the political beliefs of the subject of that biography.

Didn't see that myself in what you wrote, and I'd be surprised if anyone else did.
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peter
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Post by peter »

Yes - I think sometimes I get hypersensitive about what I have posted when considering it in retrospect. It's easy to give the wrong impression by accident on the internet - hence you will see that I use a lot of emoticons in my posts to clearly establish my intent.
President of Peace? You fucking idiots!

"I know what America is. America is a thing that you can move very easily. Move it in the right direction. They won't get in the way." (Benjamin Netenyahu 2001.)

....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'

We are the Bloodguard
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Hashi Lebwohl
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Post by Hashi Lebwohl »

He ducked a little and scooted forward quickly, probably trying to get in under her guard, but Skarletta wasn't that naive--she had seen this tactic tried before in other back-alley brawls she had started. She let him get in a quick jab--ouch! he was better than she thought because he got another jab in on her left ribs--but she already had the advantage, being a full head taller than he was. She grabbed his wrist, twisted his arm up and back while simultaneously landing an upper-cut to his jaw before reloading her fist to smash upwards into his elbow. The crack of her knuckles on his bone and the yelp coming from his mouth told her that this bout was over.

Poor thing, she thought, he didn't know what he was getting into when he challenged her. Didn't matter, though--he was awfully cute if you ignored the dirt and sweat on his face. That was all she needed to see to know that she would make it up to him later, after which he would need to clean up and cool down again.
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aliantha
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Post by aliantha »

Hashi -- :lol: I like her already!

peter -- Thanks! It's fun, isn't it? :) I never know, when I sit down, what's going to pop out of my brain...
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Hashi Lebwohl
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Post by Hashi Lebwohl »

Skarletta is one of my old RPG characters. She is larger than most men and prefers to use her fists over weapons; her catchphrase is "I've broken just as many arms as I have hearts".

Free-writing was a constant assignment in one of my English classes back in college. Every time class met you had to turn in a one-page free-written story. Her goal was not just punctuation, spelling, and grammar--the basics, for which she would deduct points should she see an error--but to get your creative mind working.
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Linna Heartbooger
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Post by Linna Heartbooger »

"But won't he try to cheat me? Isn't that what he does?"

"He did try that in times past, yes, but then people caught on and correctly stopped making deals. Thus he decided on a better tactic--give people what they want. Exactly what they want."
:thumbsup: Well-done lines.

Okay, people... it's not quite "free-writing" for me; I definitely let my mind churn away on it between times I sit down and write... but I love that I actually am sitting down and writing something down..

_____________________________________

I remember the soft blue cotton lead rope in my hand.

"C'mon pretty Pris-Wiss and walk with me / C'mon pretty Pris-Wiss there's lots to see."

I remember the sound of her hooves thudding; the plodding pace... and the more alert pace, with a quick snap at each fetlock as the hoof left the grass.
The green grass, and the leaves, green-with-golden-filtering-through.

In books, ponies all looked like cute pets or stuffed animals, but up close, with the sunshine on her copper-burnished coat, she was a thing of beauty beyond the tallest, most graceful steed.
_____________________________________

"Hola, mi nombre es Karla Rivera y esta llamada se esta grabando para verificacion por su orden para Servicia Telefonica Local."

I covered the microphone of my headset as I listened to my supervisor's voice. Leaned back and crossed my arms while she handled my call.
She had such a focused intense expression as the customer railed into the line.
"People without hope not only don't write novels, but what is more to the point, they don't read them.
They don't take long looks at anything, because they lack the courage.
The way to despair is to refuse to have any kind of experience, and the novel, of course, is a way to have experience."
-Flannery O'Connor

"In spite of much that militates against quietness there are people who still read books. They are the people who keep me going."
-Elisabeth Elliot, Preface, "A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael"
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Post by aliantha »

Linna -- :)

Re the Spanish language thing -- when I was at the network, our 800 number was just a digit or two off for the Spanish number for some utility in California. We had somebody on the staff who was fluent in Spanish record a message that explained they had dialed a wrong number. Any time some caller started talking in Spanish, the producer would say, "Un momento, por favor," and play the recording down the phone line to them. :lol: Good times...
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Post by Sorus »

Two mistakes were made in that moment. I've had plenty of time to think about it. The outcome would have remained the same, but still...

We're trained for this. It's instinct by now; it has to be. But that time was different.

The sense of loss would come later. In the moment there was only the knowledge that everything had changed irrevocably between one heartbeat and the next.

Heavy footsteps echo down the long corridor, approaching steadily.

I stand up straighter. I am ready.

Oh, a change is coming, feel these doors now closing
Is there no world for tomorrow, if we wait for today?


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aliantha
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Post by aliantha »

Nice, Sorus. I love the sense of anticipation this creates. :)
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Post by Sorus »

I could keep going, but that was what I got in two minutes.

Oh, a change is coming, feel these doors now closing
Is there no world for tomorrow, if we wait for today?


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Linna Heartbooger
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Post by Linna Heartbooger »

Sorus wrote:I could keep going, but that was what I got in two minutes.
:thumbsup:

...keep going... we want to know what it's about.... (I think.) whether you yourself know now, or not.

I keep telling myself I'm going to sit down and type for 4-8 minutes, get something finished, and then post it in bite-sized 2-minute chunks.... but I guess that would fight some of the purpose....
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peter
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Post by peter »

The hand that reached for the door-knob was obviously as nervous as me. I could tell by the half turn and then stop, that it's owner was having second thoughts. And why not - it's not everyday you take on the black father's minion armed with a stake of wood and a mallet.
President of Peace? You fucking idiots!

"I know what America is. America is a thing that you can move very easily. Move it in the right direction. They won't get in the way." (Benjamin Netenyahu 2001.)

....and the glory of the world becomes less than it was....
'Have we not served you well'
'Of course - you know you have.'
'Then let it end.'

We are the Bloodguard
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aliantha
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Post by aliantha »

Whoa, peter! 8O

Linna, do it however you want. :)

Here's mine from today at Dan's blog:

It was snowing. Not the fluffy picture-postcard snow of a million Christmas cards -- the kind that presages a silent night -- but the angry, sleety, in-your-face kind of snow that chills you to the bone.

She viewed the scene with dismay. She'd been in denial about the shortening days, the darkness descending as she fixed her evening meal. But this snow gave uncontrovertible proof that winter was on the way, and she wasn't ready. She didn't want to pack it in and hunker down before the fire -- not when she hadn't yet had a chance to burst forth.
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Post by Hashi Lebwohl »

Their business concluded, he organized the papers back into his briefcase, watched another satisfied client leave, took another sip of scotch, then retreated back down the mental corridor where he spent much of his life now. Who, really, is the devil? The one whose powers granted the wishes or the one who brought clients to the table and brokered the deal?

He looked back over his contract. He knew that she was satisfied with the life she had now because he had access to sources of information which did not suffer from human limitations. Still, it took a little longer this time to reassure himself that the price was worth it. No time for second thoughts now, though.

His phone buzzed quietly. Ah--another client. Not surprising. There were always more clients.
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aliantha
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Post by aliantha »

:thumbsup:
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Post by Hashi Lebwohl »

aliantha wrote:Whoa, peter! 8O
Indeed--I had to read it twice to realize whose point of view we were experiencing.
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Sorus
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Post by Sorus »

Nice, all. Keep it coming.
Linna Heartlistener wrote:
I keep telling myself I'm going to sit down and type for 4-8 minutes, get something finished, and then post it in bite-sized 2-minute chunks.... but I guess that would fight some of the purpose....
That's my problem, too. I tried this when Ali first posted the link, and found that I either froze and didn't accomplish anything in two minutes, or went waaaay over the limit. It's an interesting exercise. I think I managed to keep to almost two minutes today.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Lieutenant Blake?"

"Yes." It's as good a name as any.

"Hmm..." He's looking down at his notepad, tapping a pen against his hand. He's relaxed, almost casual. Playing good cop today. I'm supposed to fill the silence, but I don't.

Finally he looks up. "There was a Lieutenant Blake on that mission. You are not her."

Straight to the point today. "No, sir." Not that he would believe the truth.

"Did you kill her?"

It's a fair question, but it startles me. My reaction seems to please him; at least his mouth twists in what could almost be a smile.

"No, sir."

"But she is dead."

It's not a question, but I answer anyway. "I would imagine so, sir."

Silence. Tap, tap. Then, "You're going to be here for a long time if you don't start giving us some answers."

Oh, a change is coming, feel these doors now closing
Is there no world for tomorrow, if we wait for today?


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Post by aliantha »

Cool, Sorus. :)

To be honest, I use the two-minute thing as sort of a guideline. I didn't even set a timer for today's. And some folks post long scenes at Dan's blog that clearly took way longer than two minutes to write.

BTW, I told Dan today that I'd started this here, and told him he'd created a monster. He was good with that. :lol:
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Sorus
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Post by Sorus »

It's also an interesting exercise in that I am used to doing a lot of editing, and I suspect that is forbidden here. I think this particular story can handle having some rough edges, but the urge to edit is still there.

Oh, a change is coming, feel these doors now closing
Is there no world for tomorrow, if we wait for today?


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