The Drawer

[Iolanthe]

I hope this is the appropriate place for this?

The Drawer

I loved my Dad. Kind, clever, funny Dad. What strange things can stir the memories. I remember he hit me once, only once, ever. I refused to go to bed and said “No” when he told me to go. I must have been about 4 or 5; we still had a coal fire in those days and I vaguely remember almost landing in it. He was so upset he disappeared to the shed and I was hustled upstairs. I remember the smell of his makeup when he came home from the operatics. Saturday mornings up at the allotment when we were allowed to dig and get very dirty. The trips to London to watch the boat race – Dad and I supported Oxford but Mum and my sister supported Cambridge. He was so supportive as I grew older, and I was pleased to be able to support him as he got older. I stayed with him for a few days after Mum died and have a very clear memory of him sitting on the sofa clearing out her handbag when we got home from the hospital. A poignant moment if ever there was one. Then, when he died, I inherited the table.

It must have belonged to my grandparents. A proper wooden table with four thin legs, wheels on the bottom, and two large drop leaves. The table has a very long, thin drawer with a small metal handle and a keyhole. Goodness knows where the key went.

So, it being spring, I decided this morning to clean out the bay where the table sits. There’s a bit of damp there and the bottom of the table legs were sprinkled with white mould. I got the polish out, proper polish in a tin, and went over the table and the legs. Then, of course, out came the drawer. It’s strange, but there is nothing of Mum’s in the drawer, yet it contains exactly what it contained when we brought it home from Dad’s. Dad’s things. The things that Dad put there, probably because he didn’t know where else to put them. Don’t we all have one of those places? A few pens, a battery, a couple of instruction booklets for electrical equipment, a receipted bill for a car repair, two pairs of sun glasses in their cases, a receipt for some medication, and a complete book of petrol coupons. Not from the war, these, but the result of petrol rationing during a strike a few years ago. A lot of rubbish really, but I can’t throw it away. The drawer will stay exactly how it is until I’m gone. I have other things of Dad’s, of course, but that drawer represents something else. A collection of flotsam and jetsam. I know I’m daft, but somehow part of my Dad is in that drawer. And every time I look in it the memories come flooding back.

[deer of the dawn]

Nice, Iolanthe. I pictured it right away because I got a similar table from my grandmother and my Dad pointed out where he had run a toy racecar on the surface, leaving a mark, and his Dad swatted him for it (a rarity for him as well). But it has no drawer.

[lorin]

That is really beautiful.

[Iolanthe]

Thanks Deer and Lorin. Somehow that just needed to come out today. It is 8 years and a month exactly since he died.

[StevieG]

Awesome Iolanthe!

It's interesting what triggers memories. Smells can be a big one. If I smell Deep Heat these days it reminds me of my early years of soccer, and it gets the nerves jingling!

It is actually 2 days until the 11th anniversary of my father's death - makes me a little more emotional about other events too. I was a damn mess today (being ANZAC day) just thinking about those teenagers killed in world war 1. My dad died relatively suddenly in another country while I was in another state from my family. It's not something you ever get over - the loss of someone close to you. But unfortunately it becomes more prevalent as the years go by - life, eh! The thing I find the most difficult is that he never knew our kids, and they never knew him.

[Frostheart Grueburn]

I liked it.

[Iolanthe]

Same here, Stevie. My Dad died just over a month before my first grandson was born, so he just missed seeing his first great grandchild. Patrick will be 8 on Monday. There are compensations, but never replacements.

[Cord Hurn]

Thank you for sharing that story, Iolanthe! It's touching, and it's something that we can all relate to in one way or another.

[aliantha]

Good story, Io. Sorry I missed it before.

[Cord Hurn]

The drawer will stay exactly how it is until I’m gone. I have other things of Dad’s, of course, but that drawer represents something else. A collection of flotsam and jetsam. I know I’m daft, but somehow part of my Dad is in that drawer. And every time I look in it the memories come flooding back.

That was the most touching part, for me. I don't know how to explain why, but it just touched something deep within me, and I understood it.

[Iolanthe]

Aw, thanks for the kind comments. It is strange how little things remind us of certain people. Sunday will be the 10th anniversary of his death - 22nd March. I can't believe it's 10 years already!

[Sorus]

Aw, thanks for the kind comments. It is strange how little things remind us of certain people. Sunday will be the 10th anniversary of his death - 22nd March. I can't believe it's 10 years already!