proof that Australia is a myth

[Shaun das Schaf]

No THIS is Ned Kelly...











(Sidney Nolan Ned Kelly Series)

[sindatur]

i suspect veggiemite may hold a clue.

Yea, I think that's a really big clue. Who would ever actually made a jelly out of Vegetable Mites and eat it? NOBODY would!!!!

And have you ever seen their supposed Peacock Spiders? I googled pictures, and they obviously have been painted up by a 5 year old, they don't even bother making the painting woork look professional and real

[sindatur]

My mother supposedly went to Australia and climbed the Sydney Harbor Bridge several years ago. Am I to believe that mom is in on the conspiracy?

Not necessarily...it could be any number of mental illnesses, use of hallucinogens, or mystic revelation of the kingdom that awaits us all with appropriate belief and clicking of heels.

Or Rekall

[Avatar]

I like that last painting.

--A

[Wildling]

It's very expressive isn't it? I think I might be afraid of it actually.

[sgt.null]

Edward "Ned" Kelly (June 1854 or 1855 – 11 November 1880) was an English or Australian bushranger. He is considered by some to be merely a cold-blooded killer, while others in addition consider him to be a folk hero and symbol of English or Australian resistance against the English or Australian ruling class, in addition to the working class. And some mid-management types.

Kelly was born in Victoria or Perth to an English or Australian convict father, and as a young man he clashed with the Victoria or Perth Police. Following an incident at his home in early 1878 or possibly late 1878 , police parties searched for him in the bush and the brush and behind a large stand of trees. Or possibly a copse of tree, or maybe it was an orchard. After he killed three policemen or wounded them, accounts differ. The colony proclaimed Kelly and his gang as wanted outlaws.

A final violent confrontation police took place at Glenrowan or Liberty-on-Heath on 28 June 1880. Though some say it was in April of the year before. Kelly, dressed in home-made plate metal armour (he bought at the local Stuff Mart) and a helmet. Of course it was supposed to have included a bastard sword, but the local store was just out. They did offer to put it on back order, but Ned and his crew were short on time.

Ned was captured and sent to jail. (Often spelt Gaol.) He was convicted of three counts of willful murder and three unrelated chargers of unwillful manslaughter. The crew was hanged at Old Melbourne Gaol (often spelt jail) in November 1880 or quite possibly April of the following year. His daring notoriety made him an ironic figure in Australian history, folklore, literature, art and film. Ironic in the sense that Australia is a made-up location, much like Oz, Wonderland, Watership Down or New Zealand.

In August 2011, late early morning, anthropologists announced that a skeleton found in a mass grave in Pentridge Prison, or Dowledge Women's Correctional Unit had been confirmed as Kelly's. His supposed country of origin, however, remains missing.

[aliantha]

Batty was online friends with an Australian kid (who was probably lying about her nationality...) who got her into a band called the Whitlams. I special-ordered one of their albums for her. On this particular album they did a song called "Kate Kelly" -- presumably about Ned's wife.

It was a pretty good album, for a band from a mythical continent.

[Rau Le Creuset]

so.... what would happen if I took a flight too Australia?? does the plane just dive into water... or are you forced to take sleeping gas for some inception like dream that makes you feel like ur in the land like Australia talking to people with strange outlandish accents...

wait what about Hugh Jackman?? he could potentially be proof that Australia is a real place... plus he's ripped... I could see him throwing a boomerang or putting shrimp on the barbey

[StevieG]

so.... what would happen if I took a flight too Australia?? does the plane just dive into water... or are you forced to take sleeping gas for some inception like dream that makes you feel like ur in the land like Australia talking to people with strange outlandish accents...

Come visit me and find out Evil laugh

[sgt.null]

so.... what would happen if I took a flight too Australia??

ali - good stuff

Kate Kelly kover

[peter]

Of course Australia exists - my sister went there for a holiday. I lent her the money and she sent me a postcard. It's pure coincidence that they have a seaside town called Blackpool with a big metal tower and their stamps have a picture of the Queens head on them. It's part of the Commonwealth so they would, wouldn't they.

[sgt.null]

Peter - Blackpool is in Canada. your sister took your money and went to Canada. sorry to break the news. she likely secretly speaks French. you have my sympathies.

[peter]

I knew there was something dodgy about her - she comes from a highly suspect family - and I always wondered why she would need snow shoes for OZ (she said it was for the sand storms).

[sgt.null]

[sgt.null]

Roy Downs
May 2010

The 2002 film, Australia Is Real, directed by Kelly Ned, is advertised as “a true story”. It is anything but. The film tells at least ten major untruths.

1. The state of Australia being proven real. The contention that the film has any evidence of this came as some surprise to cartographers who had to be removed by force from the movie premier. The violent removal in the lobby is entirely documented. In fact, the cartographer's mothers knew beforehand that they were to go with the proper authorities and, without any protest, as such they reluctantly acquiesced in the removal. The cartographers left the premier on horseback, not locked in a motor car.

2. The 'Western Australian Chief Protector', John Doe, did remove the cartographers as part of some government plan to “prove the existence of the false state of Australia."

3. The cartographers have openly defied anyone from the Australian government to come forth with pictures of Australia. Such untouched pictures do not exist.

4. The speech given in the film by President Kennedy , was never made by the real Kennedy. The words did not come from a transcript found in any historical archive but were created for the film by screenwriter Sheila Kang.

5. When the files concerning Australia were removed in 1931 from the Pentagon, Kennedy was not even president! The Western Australian government never gave him either the legal authority or the funding to manage Australian affairs in the way the film alleges.

6. The Black Rose Institute was not an institution solely for the study of Australia, as the film depicts. It was a CIA run settlement for known Communist agitators.

7. The Black Rose Institute was not, as the film portrays it, a prison. Most Communist people went there voluntarily and temporarily to gain access to welfare.

8. Reason number eight is under review.

9. Australia seems to have been created by an unknown author back around the time of the American Civil War. Some debate remains as the author has never been identified. Edgar Allen Poe and Ambrose Bierce remain the top suspects. Though the English conspiracy buffs continue to push for Woodrow Wilson being the culprit.

10. England has no records of a prison colony being set up by the Royal Crown in the South Pacific. It seems that Canada was, in fact set up as a failed art colony.

11. Scientists all around the world continue to scoff at the notion that the animals that are said to be native to Australia are anything more than fanciful myth. Much like Unicorns, Dragon, Fish Mongers or Narwhals.

[aliantha]

Maybe resurrecting this thread will bring Sarge back to the Watch...

I mentioned elsewhere that I'll be driving north, weekend after next, to visit lorin and meet up with Loremaster and Montresor. Lore will be in NY for a conference and I gather Montresor lives there. Anyway, I was explaining the plans to Batty and Magickmaker the other night at dinner, and I mentioned that Lore and Montresor are brothers who are from Australia, which is a neat trick because of course it's a mythical place, but anyway we're supposed to get together and...

I realize the room has gone deathly quiet. I turn to my daughters, and they're wearing identical expressions:



Apparently their brief sojourns on the Watch didn't include visiting this thread.

[Sorus]

I didn't realize there were still people out there who believed in Australia. I mean, due credit for coming up with the platypus before Photoshop existed, but still...

[Avatar]

Uh, kick them both for me Ali. Bloody fair-weather Aussies.

(Funnily enough, as soon as I saw this thread I wondered where Sarge had been.)

--A

[Sorus]

At first I thought you were suggesting that Ali should kick her daughters for believing in Australia.

[aliantha]

It's still an option...