Kevin's Watch

Posted: **Fri Mar 12, 2004 4:39 am**

beautiful

I love it

hugglesssssss Dromond

VS, what does what you just said mean?

Posted: **Fri Mar 12, 2004 4:40 am**

And yes, Isaiah's letter to us is VERY moving!!! "Hearing" him speak to us now is quite an experience.

Posted: **Fri Mar 12, 2004 4:42 am**

I found those letters under a stack of his clothes. He never told me about them. I'm so happy I didn't just over look them or throw them away on accident.

Posted: **Fri Mar 12, 2004 5:06 am**

Furls Fire wrote:VS, what does what you just said mean?

Something that sounds not nearly as nice in English!

Ka kite, ka kite ano (car key teh, car key teh ah noh)= See you, see you again

Sum sui generis
Vs

Posted: **Fri Mar 12, 2004 5:22 am**

I only talked with shadow once, so I did not post here sooner as I felt I had no right. But after reading through the Stephen C thread I cant bear not to.

Goodbye, shadow Lurker. You will be missed.

Posted: **Fri Mar 12, 2004 6:08 am**

He will be missed, greatly.

But I know, in my heart, he is enveloped in love and light and laughter even as I type these words. And he has gotten to meet Stephen! I know how much he must have loved that!

Posted: **Fri Mar 12, 2004 4:03 pm**

Oh my god, talk about being blindsided......I haven't been here all week, I've been so busy with costumes, and I just got on today to check on Shadow.....and.....I guess I was expecting it, but not really....I was hoping....I really don't have anything to say, I've never lost a friend before. I'll post better later.....

Love you Shadow.

Posted: **Sat Mar 13, 2004 3:57 am**

variol son wrote:Something that sounds not nearly as nice in English!

Ka kite, ka kite ano (car key teh, car key teh ah noh)= See you, see you again

OH, I love it Luke..beautiful

And I'm sure you will someday...we all will.

Birdie wrote:Oh my god, talk about being blindsided......I haven't been here all week, I've been so busy with costumes, and I just got on today to check on Shadow.....and.....I guess I was expecting it, but not really....I was hoping....I really don't have anything to say, I've never lost a friend before. I'll post better later.....

Love you Shadow.

I'm so sorry you got hit with it like this, birdie. I actually didn't come on here until 3 days after he passed. And even then it broke my heart to come and tell everyone. I know you loved him, he spoke of your love and caring..as well as Fist's, Duchy's, Luke's and everyone else's...so often. You all humbled him, he just couldn't believe how special he had become to everyone. I tried to show him, I hope in the end he understood how very special he was.

He was a gentle soul, quiet, intelligent and full of so much love.

Fly Fly do not fear
don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
your heart is pure, your soul is free
be on your way, don't wait for me
above the universe you'll climb
on beyond the hands of time
the moon will rise, the may set
but I won't forget...

Fly Fly little wing
fly where only angels sing
fly away, the time is right
go now...find the light

That song, by Celine Dion, was played at Steve's services, and I also had it played at Isaiah's...

Peace,

Tracie

Posted: **Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:02 pm**

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. Whatever we were to each other that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name; speak to me in the easy way, which you always used. Put no difference in your tone; wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word it always was, let it be spoken without effort, without a trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same that it ever was; there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well.

In memory of Isaiah John Adderly & Stephen C. McKinney

Posted: **Sat Mar 13, 2004 2:47 pm**

I only knew of ShadowLurker from his rare postings on TC topics and his recent dissection, but I always found his comments to be insightful and on-target. I'm ashamed to say that I was unaware of his illness until this morning, when I came across this thread and then read the last several weeks of postings on the Stephen C. thread. I'm so very sorry that I did not know him better. Godspeed, Isaiah.

And Tracie, my thoughts and prayers are with you. By your words and thoughts that I've read this morning, I don't believe that there is a more beautiful person than you.

Don

Posted: **Mon Mar 15, 2004 2:40 am**

Brinn...beautiful... Hugglessssssssss

And Don, not many here knew Isaiah had AIDS, so don't feel ashamed or bad because you didn't. Hugglesssssss to you

Everyone, I just want to thank you for the beautiful memorial posts you are all making. I'm sure Isaiah can feel your love from where he now is and is smiling.

Posted: **Mon Mar 15, 2004 6:47 am**

It is not easy to hold back the tide of tears nor can it be .. tears are not all saddness but also tears of sweet joy ..

To read that beautiful letter Isaiah wrote to the Watch community has moved me beyond the means to express.

No matter how much we may rationally know mortality is limited .. nothing prepares the heart and soul for the passing of a loved one. Shadow you are a beloved soul .. and you touched my life as you have touched the lives of many here!

Its not so easy to see the extent our influence may have on the lives around us .. and my heart is filled with such gratitude and love for the influence you have had on so many.

I am grieved that I only had the opportunity to speak to Isaiah once .. but I sadly now cherish that one time ..

I am so grateful that Tracie and her family embraced you and kept you ..

I will forever be in awe of your capacity for love Tracie .. and not only yours but also Russ's and your whole family.

I must grieve now .. and rejoice in your glorious inheritance .. your new found peace and love ..

I am happy for you Isaiah .. and I will miss you dearly and your words .. I pray for you Tracie and family .. that you will continue to feel the comfort of his love and the love of that we all have for you ..

I rejoice in your new life Isaiah .. and love you most beloved fellow watchman and brother .. pray for us who are left behind .. with only the hope of one day being able to meet again ..

Posted: **Mon Mar 15, 2004 2:44 pm**

Ah, Isaiah; I pray there is nothing but love where you are now. Save a spot for me.

Posted: **Mon Mar 15, 2004 3:06 pm**

Sky, Dan...

hugglesssssssss

Posted: **Tue Mar 16, 2004 8:47 am**

Furls wrote:

I'm so sorry you got hit with it like this, birdie.

Huggles Furls...

I'm okay.

Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.

And he said:

You would know the secret of death.

But how shall you find it unless you seek
it in the heart of life?

The owl whose night-bound eyes are
blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery
of light.

If you would indeed behold the spirit of
death, open your heart wide unto the body
of life.

For life and death are one, even as the
river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires
lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;

And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow
your heart dreams of spring.

Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden
the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling
of the shepherd when he stands before the
king whose hand is to be laid upon him in
honour.

Is the sheered not joyful beneath his
trembling, that he shall wear the mark of
the king?

Yet is he not more mindful of his trem-
bling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked
in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is to cease breathing, but to
free the breath from its restless tides, that
it may rise and expand and seek God unen-
cumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of
silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the moun-
tain top, then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your
limbs, then shall you truly dance.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-excerpt from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran

Isaiah, Hail.

Posted: **Tue Mar 16, 2004 2:45 pm**

beautiful birdie

ah, my heart. I feel such joy for him, and yet I find myself longing for more time with him. The "if onlies" tumble over themselves in my mind. If only I had insisted he come over sooner, if only he had spoken up long before he did, if only he didn't have such a horrid doctor over in the UK...if only, if only, if only. I have to keep reminding myself, however, that that wasn't God's plan. He came when he was supposed to. At the end...going Home with a heart full of love...the beginning of his new journey.

Peace,
Tracie

If I should be the first to go
mourn not the grave I lie,
although my chair is empty
my spirit did not die.

Death is not a foe to fear
When mortal time is through.
The tears I shed are sadness
at thoughts of leaving you.

I'll miss your cherished love,
The looks, the touches that said
when one of us was hurt-
the others always bled.

Memories are the blessing
that endure beyond the dust,
we accept the will of God
and do the things we must.

If I should be the first to go
I'll mark the path with care
so when you follow in my steps-
you'll find me waiting there.

Stephen C. McKinney...10 years old, 1979

Posted: **Tue Mar 16, 2004 10:06 pm**

Furls, I didnt know Shadowlurker at all. Reading his letter has made me realise that I have missed knowing someone of true beauty and I am deeply saddened.

We will meet in another time and another place. Farewell Shadowlurker, be at peace.

......Farewell to you and the youth I have spent with you.
It was but yesterday we met in a dream.
You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I of your longings have built a tower in the sky.
But now our sleep has fled and our dream is over, and it is no longer dawn.
The noontide is upon us and our half waking has turned to fuller day, and we must part.
If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song.
And if our hands should meet in another dream we shall build another tower in the sky.......

from The Farewell Kahlil Gibran

Posted: **Wed Mar 17, 2004 1:58 am**

Furls Fire wrote:Stephen C. McKinney...10 years old, 1979

Say WHAT?? WHAT???

Posted: **Wed Mar 17, 2004 2:32 am**

hugglesssssssssssssssssss Infelice!!

The beauty of it is...you can still get to know him.

Just read his posts here on the Watch. He was beautiful.

Fist and Faith wrote:
Furls Fire wrote:Stephen C. McKinney...10 years old, 1979
Say WHAT?? WHAT???

hehehe...

He still surprises you, doesn't he?

Posted: **Wed Mar 17, 2004 2:41 am**

Sheesh!!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Little brat kid!!!

Kevin's Watch

Glorious Passing (Isaiah, 1966-2004)