Kevin's Watch

It's so strange seeing Furls' words after all this. But not surprising. She hasn't felt gone, really. Her presence is just so strong. It can only remain like one of those signals that goes out into space--never really stops.

matrixman wrote: "Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil."

Beautifully said MM.

--A

Tracie, you told me you didn't want sorrow at your passing. You reminded me that you knew where you were going, and that there was no sorrow there. You asked me rather to rejoice.

Forgive me, Tracie, I can't help but weep. When the tears have dried, I may be able to find the strength to rejoice with you, but right now all I can think of is how much I miss you. You said, "I won't be really gone either, in fact, I will be more here than I ever was," and I know it's true - yet I still can't stop the tears. You must understand, we have not yet reached the place where sorrow has no hold. We still see only through a glass darkly. And so we can't help but feel loss. And I can't help but weep.

to everyone.

And, I'm not sure if you were all waiting for me or Dad to say yay or nay to locking the other thread, but we think it's a beautiful idea.

Mom would say..."Sweet mercy, my cup runneth over."

We are slow to recover, we may never, not fully. But, friends and loved ones like all of you make it just a bit less dark right now. Mom's light shone so bright...the house seems dim, empty. She always said that Daddy was the glue that held us all together, but it was always her. Always. Her faith, her strength, her will, her God given gift of loving beyond all bounds. It was always her, and now without her, our very foundation threatens to unravel. We are holding on by a thread and that thread is knowing that she would not want us to fall apart. So we hold onto each other and pray for strength.

Barbra Streisand sings a song in Yentl to her father, I sing it now to my mother...

Mama, can you hear me?
Mama, can you see me?
Mama can you find me in the night?
Mama are you near me?
Mama, can you hear me?
Mama, can you help me not be frightened?

Looking at the skies I seem to see
A million eyes which ones are yours?
Where are you now that yesterday
Has waved goodbye
And closed its doors?
The night is so much darker;
The wind is so much colder;
The world I see is so much bigger
Now that I'm alone.

Mama, please forgive me.
Try to understand me;
Mama, don't you know I had no choice?
Can you hear me praying,
Anything I'm saying
Even though the night is filled with voices?
I remember everything you taught me
Every book 1've ever read...
Can all the words in all the books
Help me to face what lies ahead?
The trees are so much taller
And I feel so much smaller;
The moon is twice as lonely
And the stars are half as bright...

Mama, how I love you...
Mama, how I need you.
Mama, how I miss you
Kissing me good night...

Fire Daughter wrote:We are slow to recover, we may never, not fully.

You will recover. Slowly, and not for a long while, but you will. Furls is a part of all of you, and that includes her indomitable will.

I guess this is the right place to say that the admins would like to leave Furls as a permanent moderator of the Hall of Gifts. It's here of all places on the Watch, we think, that she is felt most strongly.

--A

Good call on locking that thread.
No comments made after her letter would suffice.

That was the most wonderful, beautiful and heart wrenching thing I've ever read in my life.
I don't know what else to say.

High Lord Tolkien wrote:
That was the most wonderful, beautiful and heart wrenching thing I've ever read in my life.
I don't know what else to say.

Agreed....
Word dont suffice.

Fire Daughter wrote: to everyone.

And, I'm not sure if you were all waiting for me or Dad to say yay or nay to locking the other thread, but we think it's a beautiful idea.

Mom would say..."Sweet mercy, my cup runneth over."

We are slow to recover, we may never, not fully. But, friends and loved ones like all of you make it just a bit less dark right now. Mom's light shone so bright...the house seems dim, empty. She always said that Daddy was the glue that held us all together, but it was always her. Always. Her faith, her strength, her will, her God given gift of loving beyond all bounds. It was always her, and now without her, our very foundation threatens to unravel. We are holding on by a thread and that thread is knowing that she would not want us to fall apart. So we hold onto each other and pray for strength.

You will find strength in knowing your mother is part of you all, Brooke... it will take time, but Avatar is right - she IS part of you all, in spirit as well as in body, and she'll always watch over you all and love you all. In that love you can always find your strength, whenever you need it...

Thank you

I don't think Tracie would mind my sharing these words she gave me:

There is no greater power than that of Love. Beyond all bounds it sustains us, envelops us, holds us. And whatever happens to me, that love will never die. I will never die. You will never die. No one really "dies", they just move on. So, if I go soon, or if I go later...I will not be gone. Only different, stronger, without this weakened body, I will fly.

Thank you Edge...
*teary smile*

Whether written or spoken...Mom always had a beautiful way with words.

Brooke - in the midst of your sorrow, please remember that you & your family have a unique gift here.
You said you all were 'hanging on by a thread' - that made me think: hang on to THIS thread at KW. Your mom was able to offer many profound & heart-touching thoughts here, not only in the last few months, but also over the years since this thread was created.
Tracie had an opportunity to put into words how she felt and what she was thinking, which many people either don't get or don't take advantage of.
What a gift she left you and all of us!
And, of course, there is the love and understanding of ALL of KW here for you & your family too.
God Bless you all.
Earthy

Thank you, Earthy. Mom is all over KW, but it is here, in this thread, that her presence is the strongest.

When I was on here last night, I was looking through all her old posts from her profile. She just loved it here.

Fire Daughter wrote:Thank you, Earthy. Mom is all over KW, but it is here, in this thread, that her presence is the strongest.

When I was on here last night, I was looking through all her old posts from her profile. She just loved it here.

The Watch is a special place in more ways than one, and even more so due to your mom's presence here. You and your family are a blessing upon the Watch

Huggles Xar. Thank you

Heidi, Myles and I go back to school this weekend. So, I may not be on here much after classes start next week. We don't want to go. I don't want to go. But Dad says it is what Mom would want. "Life goes on." She would always say. Yes, I guess it does. Right now though, it all seems so hollow...

Thank you all again for all your love. We all love you too. God bless.

Best to y'all as you head back to school, Brooke. And I'm sure your schools have da intarwebz, so you know where to find us.

Remember that you and your family will always be special to us! You all have taught me so much in the last few years just by your example.

Love the av addition Fisty, I'm sure it's making Mom smile. Love you!

And danlo, love your sig. Huggles to you too!