Absolutely. Though it is very nice (for me anyway) when the two can go together with the same person. However, with the exception of my husband, I have never had sex (and in most cases would never want sex) with the people I am intimate with.Foamfollower1013 wrote:Agreed. Sex and intimacy are absolutely two different things. And it also bothers me that society tends to think of sex as the ultimate form of intimacy. It's not true at all. It's possible to have a relationship as intimate as a romantic relationship, with nothing remotely sexual about it - and with no need for anything sexual about it. Intimacy can be complete without sex.Cameraman Jenn wrote:I personally think that sex and intimacy are two different things. Yes, they can easily go hand in hand but intimacy to me is knowing a person well and feeling comfortable with sharing thoughts/ideas/secrets/caring etc. Sex can be just sex. I also do not think there is ANYTHING wrong with abstinence OR asexuality. We are all different individuals with different wants and needs. That is what makes us unique and interesting and diverse and wonderful. I find that my intimacy needs are more than fulfilled by my amazing friends that I adore and whom adore me. Sex, I can take or leave it and since I prefer not to be in a committed relationship at this point in my life I am not in one.
~Foamy~
Celibacy and asexuality
Moderator: Fist and Faith
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duchess of malfi
- The Gap Into Spam
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Love as thou wilt.
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Fist and Faith
- Magister Vitae
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Well I want to have sex with ALL of you ladies! (Sorry, Cail.)
Anyway, let me speak for those like me. We don't have sex to become more intimate. It is simply a drive that is impossible to deny. As two people become close in various non-physical ways, the bodies scream out to each other.
And, in truth, there is a new intimacy from then on. The two involved do this thing with each other, but with nobody else. (Given the opportunity, I wouldn't have sex with all of you ladies, lovely though you are.) That's a significant thing. We can joke with others, but we only share this with our partner. Others may see signs that a couple has become sexually involved. Sex truly is a sharing - one that some people cannot understand.
And when sex is denied, it is a withdrawal of intimacy. It is a harm to the relationship.
However, don't think I'm putting down asexuality. There are MANY other things that can be shared between people. And when sex begins, those other things often get ignored. Since sex is so often considered the ultimate intimacy, those who don't know better stop trying with all the others. That too is a harm to the relationship.
In short, to each his/her own.
Anyway, let me speak for those like me. We don't have sex to become more intimate. It is simply a drive that is impossible to deny. As two people become close in various non-physical ways, the bodies scream out to each other.
And, in truth, there is a new intimacy from then on. The two involved do this thing with each other, but with nobody else. (Given the opportunity, I wouldn't have sex with all of you ladies, lovely though you are.) That's a significant thing. We can joke with others, but we only share this with our partner. Others may see signs that a couple has become sexually involved. Sex truly is a sharing - one that some people cannot understand.
And when sex is denied, it is a withdrawal of intimacy. It is a harm to the relationship.
However, don't think I'm putting down asexuality. There are MANY other things that can be shared between people. And when sex begins, those other things often get ignored. Since sex is so often considered the ultimate intimacy, those who don't know better stop trying with all the others. That too is a harm to the relationship.
In short, to each his/her own.
All lies and jest
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest -Paul Simon
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest -Paul Simon
Let me preface this with a big "hello" to any private investigators or attorneys who happen to be checking up on me. The following post does not reflect an admission of any activity on my part, rather is a statement of opinion based upon conversations that I've had.
In other words, bite me you blood-sucking leeches.
Now then, let me state this....I love sex, and I love women. Dear God in Heaven, do I love women.
Sex can be a truly special (dare I say magical) experience that is shared between two people who are in love with each other and wish to express their physical intimacy with each other. Like Fist said, it is the ultimate sharing experience...The touching, caressing, kissing, tasting, errrr......y'all know what I'm talking about. Sex with someone you really love (and with someone who really loves you) is spectacular. It's life-affirming. The feeling is indescribable, the orgasms are earth-shaking (and toe-curling), and you can't do it enough. When this disappears (or when one partner withdraws from the sharing, caring aspects of it), it does more than harm the relationship, it ends it.
Then there's sex between friends. I've heard (because I sure am not admitting to anything) that this can also be good, though 9 times out of 10 it ruins the relationship for various reasons. This can still be very good, but it lacks that spiritual connection (so I hear) that the first category has.
Then, there's what some people (not me, of course) like to call the Dirty-Dirty. Unrestrained animal passion that just comes out of nowhere and leaves just as quickly. Could be an acquaintance, a co-worker, or a complete stranger. It's the urge to merge, and it (though lacking in the spiritual and emotional categories) can be spectacular, even though it can lead to some awkward mornings.
The problem, for me at least, is when first-category sex goes bad (and yes, there is bad sex). I chose to end physical intimacy with my STBX for a number of reasons, but primarily because the intimacy, sharing, and love was gone. It wasn't even good animal sex, just two people going through the motions, and that's just pathetic and depressing.
In other words, bite me you blood-sucking leeches.
Now then, let me state this....I love sex, and I love women. Dear God in Heaven, do I love women.
Sex can be a truly special (dare I say magical) experience that is shared between two people who are in love with each other and wish to express their physical intimacy with each other. Like Fist said, it is the ultimate sharing experience...The touching, caressing, kissing, tasting, errrr......y'all know what I'm talking about. Sex with someone you really love (and with someone who really loves you) is spectacular. It's life-affirming. The feeling is indescribable, the orgasms are earth-shaking (and toe-curling), and you can't do it enough. When this disappears (or when one partner withdraws from the sharing, caring aspects of it), it does more than harm the relationship, it ends it.
Then there's sex between friends. I've heard (because I sure am not admitting to anything) that this can also be good, though 9 times out of 10 it ruins the relationship for various reasons. This can still be very good, but it lacks that spiritual connection (so I hear) that the first category has.
Then, there's what some people (not me, of course) like to call the Dirty-Dirty. Unrestrained animal passion that just comes out of nowhere and leaves just as quickly. Could be an acquaintance, a co-worker, or a complete stranger. It's the urge to merge, and it (though lacking in the spiritual and emotional categories) can be spectacular, even though it can lead to some awkward mornings.
The problem, for me at least, is when first-category sex goes bad (and yes, there is bad sex). I chose to end physical intimacy with my STBX for a number of reasons, but primarily because the intimacy, sharing, and love was gone. It wasn't even good animal sex, just two people going through the motions, and that's just pathetic and depressing.
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." - PJ O'Rourke
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"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
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"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
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"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
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"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
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Gadget nee Jemcheeta
- The Gap Into Spam
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