Kevin's Watch

Emo is generally pretty terrible.

“The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You” by Bryan Adams

Every love ballad by Bryan Adams.

Every single Poison song.

Every song where Mariah Carey reaches that nasty high note.

Billy Ray Cyrus Achey Breaky Heart. Hell, every country song for that matter.

"Afternoon Delight" Starland Vocal Band

Anything by the Carpenters. Karen's voice goes right through me like an under-cooked curry.

SR-71, Good Charlotte. On behalf of the State of Maryland, I apologize for those two exports. Hopefully Frank Zappa was enough to make up for them.

Staind, or however the Hell you spell it. "Ohhhh, my life is so horrible and no one understands me" Boo-f*cking-hoo. I'll throw your bald ass in a blender with Fred Durst and make an asshole shake.

Anything by ABC, OMD, Spandau Ballet, The Human League, Animotion, and any other '80s band that didn't feature a guitarist.

Frankie goes to Hollywood. Frankie should go to Hell because his music sucks. Sinatra should've punched these no-talent idiots in their collective throats for stealing his name.

But the cake, the killer, the top of the heap, the unholy trinity of everything that was wrong with hair metal.....

1. Angel Eyes (Never Let You Go) by Steelheart. When this piece of turd came out in 1990, there was no doubt that there was a big enema coming for the music industry. Whoever decided to give these jackasses a record contract should have his testicles pulled out through his ears. This song has been known to cause cerebral hemmoraging.

2. Cherry Pie by Warrant. There's a rumor that Stephen Hawking lost the ability to walk after hearing this. Another one posits that the Soviet Union conceded the Cold War fearing that the wole Cherry Pie album was a Doomsday Weapon. To this day, Jani Lane (Warrant's singer and songwriter) regrets writing this song, and the world's with him.

3. Smooth Up In 'Ya by The BulletBoys. Oh dear God. Take one part David Lee Roth wannabe, add what could quite possibly be the simplest guitar riff ever (topped by the sloppiest, simplest, most poorly played guitar solo ever), throw in a dash of lyrics that don't even attempt innuendo, and you've got this steaming pile. Listening to it will take 17 days off your life.

1990 was hands-down a terrible year for music. It didn't get much better when Grunge broke (with the sole, shining example of AiC), but I think 1990 was definately a low point in music.

I hate the las Ketchup song, mmmbop and crazy frog.

They're the only songs i can think of that i flat out refuse to listen to,

That insipid, simpering "R&B" singer who blathered over the top of Enya's Boadicea - and paid her not a penny for the privilege. 1) A terrible, terrible, intolerable song, and 2) offensively plagiaristic.

Anything by ABC, OMD, Spandau Ballet, The Human League, Animotion, and any other '80s band that didn't feature a guitarist.

That is so damn funny and true that I am still a-laffin'! Good one buddy!

1990 was hands-down a terrible year for music. It didn't get much better when Grunge broke (with the sole, shining example of AiC), but I think 1990 was definately a low point in music.

Not even Soundgarden? Chris Cornell is a bad mofo.


I'm glad you have this thread to work out your anger, Cail. Sounds like it has been building for a few decades.

Heh, like it's inconsistant that I'm opinionated.....

And man, I couldn't stand Soundgarden, and I can't stand Audioslave.

Audioslave isn't bad at all! I truly dig "Does't remind me of Naything".

More bad: "Too Shy"

'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me' by Culture Club.

Yes, I do. In fact, I'd have gladly paid Tanya Harding to take a baseball bat to Boy George's throat.

That song isn't all THAT bad.... it is bad, yes, but not as bad as say.....


"Ice, Ice, Baby"

Cail wrote:I couldn't stand Soundgarden

I love your taste in music Cail but you're insane on this count---have you listened to alot of Soundgarden or just what the radio plays? There are some incredible long guitar mindblowers. I disagree, but I'll give you that simply because of Zappa.

'Baby I love Your Way/Freebird' by Will To Power

Nope, sorry. I actually did give Soundgarden a try after I heard "Outshined", which I thought was a blatant Ronnie James Dio rip-off. And I think Audioslave is just terrible, but then again I couldn't stand Rage either.

Bad To The Bone - George Thoroughgood
Hold On Loosely - 38 Special
Sister Christian...can't remember the crappy artist who did that one
Billy Don't Be A Hero...who cares who did that one
American Pie - Don McClean
Crocodile Rock - Elton John
Signs Signs Everywhere - 5 Man Electrical Band

dANdeLION wrote:Sister Christian...can't remember the crappy artist who did that one

That would be Nightranger.....and yeah, it sucks!

At Washington College as news editor (and contributing music reviewer) I had a free-in to go backstage with Night Ranger (who in '76 I'd never heard before), thanks Gods I made the mistake of getting plowed at the pub instead, which, incidently, had the fantastic taste to play the entire Steely Dan Royal Scam album that night.

(Soundgarden Rules!!! Outshined sounds nothing like RJD, and I do like a lot of RJD )

Sister Christian is frightfully baaaaddd!