WORST SONGS EVER!!! Your top 10?

[A Gunslinger]

A while ago, Entertainment Weekly I believe (or was it VH1?) did a "worst ever"...what are yours? Give your ten, and reason why...Here are mine:


10) "Courtesy of the Red White and Blue": Jingoistic, lowest common denominator bullsh*t, courtesy of one of the great Nashville hacks, Toby Keith.

9) "We Built This City": Starshit..er, Starship. This was the worst according to the poll I mentioned earlier. Absolute trite dogcrap.

"Paradise by the Dashboard Light". A song ruined for anybody who has gone to a wedding reception which featured karoke and open bar.

7) "I can't Fight This Feeling" REO Speedwagon. As if the song weren't bad enough...I can still see the video in my mind. The video, I kid you not, featured floating teddy bears and kids. I am swallowing bile just thinking of it.

6) "Gloria" Laura Brannigan. She sings with all the beauty of a tractor stripping its gears.

5) " Never Gonna Give You Up" Rick Astley. Please.

4) "Heartlight" Neil Diamond. HAd ET heard this prior to coming to Earth, he and his friends would have come here to destroy rather than study. Tripe.

3) "God Bless the USA" Lee Greenwood. Not only is this song riddled with cliche' and Hallmark card lyrics, it is sappier then watching a "Lassie" movie with orphans. The marriage of Wal-mart and all that is bad in Nashville.

2) "I was Made for Loving You": Kiss. Kiss goes disco, and I go to the bathroom to first weep, then barf.

1) "I've Never Been to Me". Charlene. A one hit wonder. This song actually sounds like a Tampax commercial. A song so bad, that the thought of it keeps me up nights.

Yours?

[matrixman]

"Gloria" happens to be a favorite of mine from the early '80s. You're a cruel man, Gunslinger...

I know it's just for fun, but I'm leery of these kinds of negative topics. Vespers has seen its share of, ah, nasty exchanges. Have fun, people, but I'm staying outta this...

[A Gunslinger]

"Gloria" happens to be a favorite of mine from the early '80s. You're a cruel man, Gunslinger...

I know it's just for fun, but I'm leery of these kinds of negative topics. Vespers has seen its share of, ah, nasty exchanges. Have fun, people, but I'm staying outta this...

It is ALL for FUN!!! No insults intended IN THE LEAST!!!!! Let's have fun and fun ONLY here!

Gimmie yer top ten!!!!

[danlo]

Pretty much agree with your list

But I would put Working for the Weekend-Loverboy #1
We Built this Shitty #2
Kieth is spot on a #3 like Mickey D commercials: automatic shutdown

[matrixman]

Okay, just for you, Guns, I'll mention at least one song that simply should never have been written: Don Johnson's "Heartbeat." One of the most overwrought songs I had ever heard. Definitely not a favorite from the '80s.

If I had to make a top ten list, most of the other nine would probably consist of any of the non-descript songs (pick one, any one) by the various boy bands of the '90s. (Backstreet Boys, nSync, Take That, etc.) You don't actually expect me to remember their song titles, do you?

I'm sure an Air Supply song sneaks into the list somewhere, too.

Et tu, danlo? Is Loverboy the most reviled band here? I just don't understand...

[Queeaqueg]

Chris De Burg - Lady in Red
Robbie Williams - pretty much everything

I would have to think, I tend not to think of bad songs because it... hurts my mind.

[CovenantJr]

I'll have to think more before I can list ten, but Imagine would be in there. *gag*

[Trapper]

"I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meatloaf.

Like bad prOn it just kept pretending to climax.

[dlbpharmd]

Agree with alot of AG's list except #10 and #3. And I liked Rick Astley back in the 80s!

I can think of a TON of horrible songs, but one always stands out as being the absolute worst - Spandau Ballet's "True."

[aTOMiC]

I used to absolutely hate "We Built This City" and still do to this day but its never been about production values, vocals or musicianship it just annoyed the crap out of me every time I heard it. I could say the same thing about just about every Bee Gee's song but what really gets under my skin and sends a chill down my spine are songs by the Cranberries. The "Awoo awoo awoo awoo" is like taking a 13" long stainless steel needle and jamming it into my left ear until the point is sticking out of my right ear but I digress. Yeah I pretty much agree with all of A Gunslinger's choices though not always for the same reasons.

[Lorelei]

Brand New Key - Melanie

The sad part is, it gets stuck in my head and the only way to get it out is to bang my head against the wall.

[A Gunslinger]

Good choices all. There are many more.... "Yummy Yummy Yummy (I've got Love in My Tummy)" comes to mind.

[Cail]

Hmmmmmm....

The entire Loverboy catalog, the entire KISS catalog, the entire Meatloaf catalog for starters. Mike Reno, Paul Stanley, and Mr. Loaf all need a quick trip through the chipper/shredder.

Heartbeat and We Built This City most definately.

The Final Countdown by Europe. Dear God that's horrible.

Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega. Come to think of it, anything by Suzanne Vega. No one liked it when Laurie Anderson talked through an entire album, why would you try it?

I'm a Believer by Giant. Utter, utter crap. I admit it, I like a lot of hair metal, but Giant was 3rd wave derivative garbage.

Love Touch by Rod Stewart. Great singer, horrid song. You deserve to lose a finger for that one Rod.

All post-Burton Metallica. I have a special chipper/shredder for you Lars.

There's more......

[dlbpharmd]

Anything by Celine Dion.

[Zarathustra]

Eh, inserting politics into a music discussion almost as distasteful as having a political debate during sex. It's just not right, man. Anyway, Team America blasted Toby Keith better than anyone else in history ("Freedom isn't free . . . It costs folks like you and me. . . "), so any attempt to go there is just mediocre and redundant at this point. You could have just said "all country music" and we would have understood exactly what you were talking about. It's all "Jingoistic, lowest common denominator bullsh*t" music. Sorry country fans, but it's true. You know it deep down. Just come out of the closet and embrace your secret desire for jazz fusion. [Disclaimer: the above offensive remarks slandering an entire genre of music loved by millions was in no way intended to include bluegrass. ]

Okay, worst songs ever. I can't believe that Patrick Swayze song from the 80's hasn't been mentioned. Oh, and Eddie Murphey's lame attempt to break into the music scene was, ironically, not funny at all. That was just sad.

But songs that stir deep, dark murderous feelings in me are:

Rock Me Amadeus
Anything from a soundtrack of a Molly Ringwald movie
Sister Christian
Duran Duran's entire catalog
Rap music
Church music
Nickelodeon cartoon theme songs [my son was home with me all summer. . . I still can't get the Wonder Pets song out of my head.]

[A Gunslinger]

Eh, inserting politics into a music discussion almost as distasteful as having a political debate during sex. It's just not right, man. Anyway, Team America blasted Toby Keith better than anyone else in history ("Freedom isn't free . . . It costs folks like you and me. . . "), so any attempt to go there is just mediocre and redundant at this point. You could have just said "all country music" and we would have understood exactly what you were talking about. It's all "Jingoistic, lowest common denominator bullsh*t" music.

Dude. Not true. I'd count among my favorite songs ever, many a country song. Examples include:

1) Copperhead Road: Steve Earle
2) Beunos Noches From A Lonely Room: Dwight Yoakam
3) Red Headed Stranger: Willie Nelson
4) Cry Cry Cry: Johnny Cash
5) King of Road: Roger Miller

I find Mr. Keith's songs shallow and jingoistic, which is not meant as a political comment, but as a lyrical/stylistic one. Geez Malik...we are supposed to be having fun here! I like Country music as my above list indicates!

Another Terrible song???? (non-Country)

Beware....

It really BAD.....

I nominate......



"The Monster Mash"... a seasonal favorite of many, but it is soooo insipid it makes my spinal column sieze up.

[danlo]

OH no I forgot the WORST: Mandy by Barry Manilow!!!

fav (non jingoistic) country:
Sure Love-Hal Ketcham
Long Way Home-Dwight Yoakum
Four Strong Winds-Ian Tyson (performed by Neil Young and many others)
Okie from Muskogee-Merle Hagard
You Never Even Called Me by My Name-David Allan Coe
Folsom Prison Blues-Johnny Cash
Broken Wing-Martina McBride
Me and the Eagle-Steve Earle
Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mothers-Ray Wylie Hubbard
Burn-Jo Dee Messina

[dlbpharmd]

Four Strong Winds-prefomed by Neil Young (I'll go find the writter)

Gordon Lightfoot.

[Disclaimer: the above offensive remarks slandering an entire genre of music loved by millions was in no way intended to include bluegrass. ]

I've been a huge fan of bluegrass for 20 years but I'll be the first to say that as a genre it's getting pretty bad also. Currently, the quality of songwriting SUCKS in bluegrass.

[Cail]

Heaven on Earth by Belinda Carlisle.

Emotions in Motion by Billy Squire.

Anything by Limp Bizcuit.

Anything by Linkin Park.

Emo. All of it. Every stinkin' "sensitive guy" song. Just because you play a girl "Your Body is a Wonderland" does not mean she's going to sleep with you. She'll think you're a wimp and be out in the parking lot with her legs sticking out of a Camaro's sunroof with "Gimme Back My Bullets" blasting out of the stereo.

[duchess of malfi]

Anything by Celine Dion.

Now we're talking.

I do not like most of the current pop-country-diva stuff, if that is what Malik is talking about. But I love bluegrass, and I love a lot of older country from artists like Johnny Cash and others from his era. Some of those old time country artists just sound more authentic than a lot of the plastic stuff coming out today, like they'd been around the block a few times and have actually experienced life.