Canadians Eh?

[Usivius]

nice

[Wyldewode]

Thankee.

[drew]

She'll have to answer a few questions first:

1)What are the TWO provinces that normally go by their initials?

2)IN Rick Mercer's Talking to Americans special...how many hours did he say were on a Canadian Clock?

3)What Language do they speak in Newfoundland?

4) What is a Perogi? And why are they so friggin' awesome?

5) If I had a 2-4 of Blue...what did I just do?

6) How many CFL teams are using or Have used the name Roughriders?

7) Who's going to win the cup this year?

There are two cities: Saint John and St. John's...one is in Newfoundland, one is in New Brunswick...which one is which?

9) Name the last Margart Atwood book you've read.

10) What is your favorite Rush Album?

[Usivius]

[drew]

Some Canadian sporting news, in case you haven't been following.

Halifax, though it was a final contender for the 2014 Comenwealth Games, has pulled out it's bid.

It's too late for the other Canadian Cities (Hamilton, and someone else I can't remember) to get back in the race, as it was Halifax who was picked on top.

Sorry.

But it was just getting too damned expensive.

[Ur Dead]

I like Candians. You strap a stick to them and they make the best tasting popicles around.

Give them some food and you don't have to worry about the food spoiling. They'll keep it fresh.

Give them a bent stick and suddenly you have a hockey franchise.

/runs from thread.

j/k

[Usivius]

Well, if nothing else, we Canadians have a great sense of humour about ourselves.



...unless poked at by someone from the US....

...

hey, wait a sec...!

[Ur Dead]

/runs back in.

I know.

But I must say the beer is so much better than US beers.

Like Monty Python said:

Why is American (US) beer like sex in a canoe?

/runs away again.

[Wyldewode]

She'll have to answer a few questions first:

1)What are the TWO provinces that normally go by their initials?
British Columbia for sure. . . and don't know, but I will guess: New Brunswick?

2)IN Rick Mercer's Talking to Americans special...how many hours did he say were on a Canadian Clock?
Rick Mercer?

3)What Language do they speak in Newfoundland?
English and French, officially.

4) What is a Perogi? And why are they so friggin' awesome?
They are a pasta-like dough encasing a savory filling (can be potatoes, potatoes and cheese, or other things too). They are Ukrainian in origin. They are usually cooked by frying them in butter in a skillet, though they can be boiled, and are served with sour cream. And they taste amazing! [One of my Canadian friends is a caterer, and he made us fresh perogies one night. Heaven. . . absolute heaven!]

5) If I had a 2-4 of Blue...what did I just do?
You just drank a case of beer.

6) How many CFL teams are using or Have used the name Roughriders?
How many Canadian women know this--or care?

7) Who's going to win the cup this year?
See above answer.

There are two cities: Saint John and St. John's...one is in Newfoundland, one is in New Brunswick...which one is which?
Saint John is in New Brunswick. St. John's is the capital city of Newfoundland.

9) Name the last Margart Atwood book you've read.
The Handmaid's Tale.

10) What is your favorite Rush Album?
Roll the Bones, I guess. I listened to a lot of Rush in my Drawing and Art II classes in high school. One guy who was in both classes would bring his tapes and play them all the time. I got a little burned on them, and hadn't thought of them in a while.

[Usivius]

too funny. Great Wyldwode. I think you got as many right as any average Canadian would ... hehehe ... (I could answer 9 of them, but I will confess at being stumped by #1 ....)

[drew]

She'll have to answer a few questions first:

1)What are the TWO provinces that normally go by their initials?
British Columbia for sure. . . and don't know, but I will guess: New Brunswick? Prince Edward Island (PEI)

2)IN Rick Mercer's Talking to Americans special...how many hours did he say were on a Canadian Clock?
Rick Mercer? The answer is twenty-five...but you're going to have to YouTube some Rick Mercer...he's like a cross between Stephen Colbert and John Stewart...only he's funny.

3)What Language do they speak in Newfoundland?
English and French, officially. I was looking for Newfinese

4) What is a Perogi? And why are they so friggin' awesome?
They are a pasta-like dough encasing a savory filling (can be potatoes, potatoes and cheese, or other things too). They are Ukrainian in origin. They are usually cooked by frying them in butter in a skillet, though they can be boiled, and are served with sour cream. And they taste amazing! [One of my Canadian friends is a caterer, and he made us fresh perogies one night. Heaven. . . absolute heaven!] Excellent

5) If I had a 2-4 of Blue...what did I just do?
You just drank a case of beer. Specifically a case of Labatts Blue.

6) How many CFL teams are using or Have used the name Roughriders?
How many Canadian women know this--or care? fair enough..I don't know this one either

7) Who's going to win the cup this year?
See above answer. Uh...MOST Canadian Women have a favorite team

There are two cities: Saint John and St. John's...one is in Newfoundland, one is in New Brunswick...which one is which?
Saint John is in New Brunswick. St. John's is the capital city of Newfoundland. Simple rule of thumb...the 'S' stands for 'Stupid'

9) Name the last Margart Atwood book you've read.
The Handmaid's Tale. I'll have to take your word..I've never read anything by her.

10) What is your favorite Rush Album?
Roll the Bones, I guess. I listened to a lot of Rush in my Drawing and Art II classes in high school. One guy who was in both classes would bring his tapes and play them all the time. I got a little burned on them, and hadn't thought of them in a while. Roll the Bones is good..it's no 21-12 though.

[Usivius]

man you were rough, drew.

6) How many CFL teams are using or Have used the name Roughriders?
How many Canadian women know this--or care? fair enough..I don't know this one either

C'mon! Saskatchewan and Ottawa ...

9) Name the last Margart Atwood book you've read.
The Handmaid's Tale. I'll have to take your word..I've never read anything by her.

She got it right. And she picked a good one. I read the absolutely and utterly boring "Stone Angels"...

[Wyldewode]

So do I get to be an honourary Canadian?

About Newfies. . . I once read a novel called The Book of Kells, and one of the main characters was from Newfoundland, and in it the other main character always spoke down to him, and she seemed to think that he wasn't the sharpest crayola in the box. I wondered if that was just the other character's opinion of him, but now I wonder.

As for the Handmaid's Tale, I read it the same year I read the chronicles--when I was 12.

[Usivius]

Newfies... no, despite cliche, they are just like you and I. The lifestyle of Newfoundland and many of th eastern provinces just lends itself to a more different view of things and a strong accent....

Remember those 'Polish jokes' that went around in the '70s ... liklely mostly in the US?... well, here, we used 'Newfies'...
sad, but true ...

Here is something I read:

A note for non-Canadians... Newfoundland is a unique place in Canada -- basically a big rock populated by Gaelic fisherfolk who managed to avoid joining Canada until 1949. Newfoundland has a distinct society and culture with its own unintelligible brogue, an endless stream of singing, dancing and fiddling families with record deals, and plenty of grief and strife caused by the loss of all the cod. Still, they now have oil so it’ll be boom time as soon as they figure out how to get the oil off the sea bed with nets.

for example:

A Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander are involved in a grisly crime and are all sentenced to death. The executioner told them that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die.

Their choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging.

The American was afraid of needles and didn’t want to be hanged. The American chose the electric chair.

He sat in the chair and they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happens a second time that he could go free.

They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.

The guy from Toronto was also afraid of needles and didn’t want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair.

Once again, the chair didn’t work and he was free.

Next it was the Newfoundlander’s turn to pick how he was to be executed.

He said "I'm afraid of needles, the electric chair won't work so you're going to have to hang me".

and

A Newfoundland woman of a certain age, visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's sex drive.

"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.

"Oh, no, doctor, I couldn't do dat," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin.

"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to the progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh Jaysus Mary and Joseph, doctor, twas horrid. Just terrible!"

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I did like you said and slipped it into his coffee, lard. De effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging something fierce! With one swoop of his arm he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and then, Lard tunder and Jaysus, didn't he take me right then and there, making wild,mad passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you!"

"Why so terrible?", asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex was not good?"

"No, no, no, Doctor. The sex was fine. Indeed, 'twas the best sex I had in 25 years. But, oh me son, I'll never be able to show me face in Tim Horton's ever again!"

However, there are also the Newfie jokes which are told by Newfies where they aer always outwitting a mainlander.
For example:

A guy from Newfoundland is sitting at the bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes. The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The Newfoundlander explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!''

The Newfoundlander smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's running about an hour fast, can I buy you a drink?"

Thus endith the Newfie lesson...

[drew]

Drew's Fav Newfie Joke:

Rusty and Moraag were trying to have a baby for years, but nothing was working.
Finally Moraag decided to go see a doctor.
"Well Missus, what'd tha good doctor have to say?" Rusty Asks
"He told me he wants to gives him a Urine sample"
"A Urine sample, whats that? Sounds crazier than a bag of rusty hammers?"
"Well how should I know?"
"Go ask Old Missus MacReady next door. She's had ten kids, she'll know what he's goin' on about."

Later that day, Moraag returned with a bloody nose, her clothes all ripped and battered staggering through the door.
"By the Jesus woman what in hell happened?"
"Well, I went next door, like you said and Told Missus MacReady that the doctor wanted a urine sample, and I wanted her help.
She told me to go piss in a bottle...so I tells her to go shit in her hat...that's when the fight started.

Or

Did you hear about the war between the Newfies and the Cape Brettoners?
The Newfies were throwing sticks of dynamite..and the Capers were lighting the dynamite and throwing them back

[Usivius]

[drew]

2)IN Rick Mercer's Talking to Americans special...how many hours did he say were on a Canadian Clock?
Rick Mercer?

Okay here is a clip of Rick Mercer Interviewing the current Prime Minister in his home...Though it is set up, I must add that that is the Real Right Honourable Stephen Harper; not an actor.

[Wyldewode]

2)IN Rick Mercer's Talking to Americans special...how many hours did he say were on a Canadian Clock?
Rick Mercer?

Okay here is a clip of Rick Mercer Interviewing the current Prime Minister in his home...Though it is set up, I must add that that is the Real Right Honourable Stephen Harper; not an actor.

That was wonderful! I wish. . . . our president. . . errr. . . this isn't the Tank, so nevermind.

[Pacman]

Greetings! I'm a newbie from Canada (Prince George, British Columbia to be exact), and I've been getting some fierce belly laughs from the Newfie posts. My favorite comedian is Ron James, and his material on Newfies (which I believe he is one) is some seriously funny stuff. I work as a papermaker and one of our management guys is a Newfie. When I first talked to him, I thought he was drunk. Turns out he was, but that's beside the point. He talked the same way when he was sober! Til next time.

[drew]

YAYYY!!! Another Canadian!!

I thought Ron James was from Cape Bretton..but I could be mistaken.

Welcome Pacman.