Kevin's Watch

More lines from Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

Atheist Leader: We're the atheists. And we're here to cut your second coming short
They proceed to have a kung-fu battle where about 30 atheists come out of one Jeep Wrangler

Evil Scientist: We need more skin. Get me another lesbian!


A lot of people have said they need to see this movie, so let me give you the basic synopsis.

An evil group of lesbian vampires terrorizes the land. Stealing the skin of innocent girls so they can walk in the daylight, their rampage appears unstoppable.
BUT THEN!! Two priests (one of whom has a huge mowhawk) travel to the local beach where Jesus is busy baptising some random woman and "Building his father's kingdom"--that is, he's making sandcastles.
Before Jesus can make his decision, he and the priests are attacked by lesbian vampires. Tragically, both priests are killed in the attack. Luckily they were able to bless the lake first, killing all the vampires but one.
After a haircut, Jesus is shown to a special church appartment by another random priest. Inside he meets his new partner... Mary Magnum.
By the time the movie comes to a close, Jesus has battled lesbians vampires, repelled a massive atheist assault, worked with legends like Mary Magnum and Mexican Wrestling Sensation, El Santos, talked to God through his ice cream....

And to top it all off
It's a musical.

Prom_STar wrote:More lines from Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

Atheist Leader: We're the atheists. And we're here to cut your second coming short
They proceed to have a kung-fu battle where about 30 atheists come out of one Jeep Wrangler

Evil Scientist: We need more skin. Get me another lesbian!


A lot of people have said they need to see this movie, so let me give you the basic synopsis.

An evil group of lesbian vampires terrorizes the land. Stealing the skin of innocent girls so they can walk in the daylight, their rampage appears unstoppable.
BUT THEN!! Two priests (one of whom has a huge mowhawk) travel to the local beach where Jesus is busy baptising some random woman and "Building his father's kingdom"--that is, he's making sandcastles.
Before Jesus can make his decision, he and the priests are attacked by lesbian vampires. Tragically, both priests are killed in the attack. Luckily they were able to bless the lake first, killing all the vampires but one.
After a haircut, Jesus is shown to a special church appartment by another random priest. Inside he meets his new partner... Mary Magnum.
By the time the movie comes to a close, Jesus has battled lesbians vampires, repelled a massive atheist assault, worked with legends like Mary Magnum and Mexican Wrestling Sensation, El Santos, talked to God through his ice cream....

And to top it all off
It's a musical.

Best. Film. Ever.

Prom_STar wrote:More lines from Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

Atheist Leader: We're the atheists. And we're here to cut your second coming short
They proceed to have a kung-fu battle where about 30 atheists come out of one Jeep Wrangler

Evil Scientist: We need more skin. Get me another lesbian!


A lot of people have said they need to see this movie, so let me give you the basic synopsis.

An evil group of lesbian vampires terrorizes the land. Stealing the skin of innocent girls so they can walk in the daylight, their rampage appears unstoppable.
BUT THEN!! Two priests (one of whom has a huge mowhawk) travel to the local beach where Jesus is busy baptising some random woman and "Building his father's kingdom"--that is, he's making sandcastles.
Before Jesus can make his decision, he and the priests are attacked by lesbian vampires. Tragically, both priests are killed in the attack. Luckily they were able to bless the lake first, killing all the vampires but one.
After a haircut, Jesus is shown to a special church appartment by another random priest. Inside he meets his new partner... Mary Magnum.
By the time the movie comes to a close, Jesus has battled lesbians vampires, repelled a massive atheist assault, worked with legends like Mary Magnum and Mexican Wrestling Sensation, El Santos, talked to God through his ice cream....

And to top it all off
It's a musical.

If someone were to ask me what the perfect movie would be, that is word-for-word how I'd describe it.

I gotta get this movie.

www.digitallyobsessed.com/showreview.php3?ID=4276
www.digitallyobsessed.com/showreview.php3?ID=4276

Are Watchers going to be responsible for a spike in rentals of this movie?

Never mind Manos, I may want to see this ass-kicking Jesus too.

I am conflicted. the movie looks like fun. but i worry about blasphemy. but I watch South Park.

There's definitley some blasphemous elements. At the end Jesus presents a very universalistic message--in particular, one that denies his deity. Obviously, that's just a tad different than "before Abraham was I AM" and "no one comes to the father except through me."

Also, don't get your hopes up.
1.) this is a canadian independent film. I have absolutely no idea where you could acquire too

2.) this is a canadian independent film. It's really, really, really, really crappy. Acting, videography, sets, special effects, even story all pretty much suck

3.) this is a canadian independent film.

If you don't mind those three little things (and the blasphemy) than Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter is the movie for you.

well the blasphemy does it in for me. Canada has a film production company?

Apparently...

I thought they were busy with their... uh... bacon. yeah, that crazy canadian bacon of theirs....
*Glares*

You know, I still don't understand canadian bacon. It's ham. What do you get if you order ham?

Or is "ham" a bad word in Canadian?

Different cut (thigh vs loin... thank you, 4H). It's also a bit more diet friendly. *shrug*

So if you just order bacon you get bacon, or do you have to order 'Murican bacon?

Heh. I have to admit, when I was ordering breakfast in Halifax (shore leave) and got the "bacon" I joked about that very thing with my buddy, wondering which one it would be. I got bacon. Rrrreally good bacon.