How do you feel today? v. 3.0

[Avatar]

Welcome back Lorin. It'll work out in the end.

--A

[peter]

Hi Lorin - exellent to hear that you have had the courage to make what, clearly, were very necessary changes to your life. That takes guts and by no means everyone could (or indeed should) do it. As you say - forwards is now the route. Life has never failed to suprise me with it's ability to spot a gap waiting to be filled - and filling it! Be lucky and welcome back.

[Savor Dam]

So glad you have resurfaced, lorin. I have been worried about your long absence.

Proud of you for making the break you knew you had to do, but kept telling yourself was impossible. Must and Cannot are a difficult paradox, but one that you have overcome. Welcome to the other side of that passage!

[lorin]

Thanks everyone.

I feel like I took the first step. Letting go of everyone else's (and my own) expectation of me. I'm sorry it took a spill down a flight of stairs and a ruptured back to find out what is important. I have learned a lot about my ego in the last few years. The job filled my sense of self and replaced a real life for myself. But everyday I felt more and more like a whore, not believing in what I was doing, no longer proud of the work I was doing, hating every moment of my life but still looking at the paycheck. Truthfully, and not exaggerating, I was ready to drive my car into a wall.

I lost 40% of my pension leaving 2 years early but gained it back in sanity.

But now it's time to take further steps and not get caught in disability inertia. I have 1 1/2 years on my lease and then I am moving out of state. Right now I am leaning towards Taos, New Mexico. I have been there 3 times and love it so much. So I will take the next year and do some exploring of different areas of the country. Some places I am thinking about are Vermont, Maine and Oregon.

I have actually given a friend of mine some money to hold so I can make the fest in June and can't scream poverty.

Steve - all I can say is OUCH. Hope you feel better soon.

[Savor Dam]

Oregon would be good. Make sure we know when you are visiting out here, and please include a little time to come one state further north.

[Linna Heartbooger]

Lorin! I've been wondering about you!

So I called and said “ummmm I was working at my agency until 1/17/13. “ So they said, in their charming civil service way “well this isn’t our problem. It’s a computer problem and you have to get it fixed before you can get cobra. “ I said “but, but, but I was still getting dental work done in January of 13.” So they say, now get this……”I wouldn’t tell anyone because you got it for free. You weren’t supposed to get work done. You were fired in August.”

One of those "laugh or cry" moments?
And not even fictional...

I feel like I took the first step. ...I'm sorry it took a spill down a flight of stairs and a ruptured back to find out what is important...

In the category of 'things to laugh or cry about,' your phrasing up there struck me as ironic...
Bet you didn't notice.
(hoping this comment puts a grin on your face as intended, rather than making you feel like someone's picking through your words looking for faults.)

So, all in all things are good enough. 4 years ago I had a stressful, high paying job, 3 foster kids, an unfaithful man, a 4 hour roundtrip commute to work and a 5 bedroom house I couldn’t afford. Now I am single, unemployed, no kids, no house, no job and live in a tiny cottage. Sometimes you have to empty the vessel so you can fill it with a new flavor drink, right?

Thanks for sharing your story... the themes, the patterns, the "where stuff has been going."

[Menolly]

Currently in "wait and see" mode. Apparently my brother-in-law (sister's husband) collapsed last night and is in a vegetative state due to blood on his brain and in his brain stem. He does not have a living will, and has told my sister in the past that should such a thing happen, he wants everything to be done for him. My sister and her sister-in-law are currently discussing the feasibility of that.

I got in touch with Beorn, and had him call my sister. This is a first for him, as Hyperception has no siblings, both of Hyperception's parents are alive and relatively healthy, and my own parents had passed before I ever met Hyperception. Right now Beorn tells me he doesn't know what he's feeling, that it "hasn't sunk in yet." It is so hard to be completely across the continent from him as we deal with this...

[sgt.null]

hey Lorin, welcome back/

[Iolanthe]

Good to hear from you, Lorin. Tunnels always have an end. Sounds like you are nearly at the light.

Menolly, sad to hear your news. Difficult decisions on the horizon.

[lorin]

Menolly, I hope yand your our family are doing ok. It isn't easy.

I feel like I took the first step. ...I'm sorry it took a spill down a flight of stairs and a ruptured back to find out what is important...

In the category of 'things to laugh or cry about,' your phrasing up there struck me as ironic...
Bet you didn't notice.
(hoping this comment puts a grin on your face as intended, rather than making you feel like someone's picking through your words looking for faults.)

You never find fault with what I write. I had a good laugh when you pointed it out.

Thanks again for all the welcomes. I feel all warm a fuzzy (of course it could be the back medication.)

So question - what does an unemployed person do with their time?
Answer - feed the entire city out of my garden.


Some of those giants are cucumbers but they are not so good. Zucchini tomatoes and peppers are good. That is all from one picking.


Just cause they're pretty.


The gardener built me some raised beds because I can't stoop very well. I had radishes, arugulah, (don't know how to spell it) beets, red carrots they are gone now. Have peppermint, chives, spearmint, three different kind of tomatoes, basil, rosemary. It is a chaotic garden with the wrong things planted together but you live and learn.


so so so much basil. All from one packet of seeds.



Just started string beans along the driveway fence.


Lastly, when I had money I bought a kiln. I am learning the art of glass fusing. Teaching myself. This is my first completed project, a wall hanging. Glass fusing is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

So just catching you all up on my life of leisure in Lawn Guyland.

[Menolly]

so so so much basil. All from one packet of seeds.

Pesto time!

Lastly, when I had money I bought a kiln. I am learning the art of glass fusing. Teaching myself. This is my first completed project, a wall hanging. Glass fusing is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

So glad you are making time for your art again.

[lorin]

I already have sooooooooo much pesto. I am going to dry it. Can't wait for the string beans. Love roasted string beans. Cucumbers are really bitter and useless. Apparently in very high heat they get stressed (so do I) and turn bitter (me too). Temps were really high here in July.

[Iolanthe]

Lorin, your glass fusions are fantastic! I'd never heard of this before.

I just watched this video, which is absolutely fantastic.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7arQ5Ialtw&fea ... r_embedded

Been hearing about it for some weeks now. It's called a Lip dub and was inspired by the one in Grand Rapids, USA. Through Lincoln City which takes you from the High Bridge near the bottom of the High Street right up Steep Hill to the Cathedral. I've never seen anything like this before. I've never seen people get up Steep Hill this quickly either!

[lorin]

Lorin, your glass fusions are fantastic! I'd never heard of this before.

It is an amazing craft. I had started out taking a dichroic glass jewelry class but found I enjoy making bigger pieces. There is a real science to it. A difference of 10 degrees can change the whole look of the work. I bought a small kiln, just big enough for a plate. I really enjoy it. I am taking a 6 day program in Massachusetts this fall to really learn the process. The only problem is that not many people do large glass projects where I live. I think it is a space issue. It requires room to work and space is a premium here.

I just watched this video, which is absolutely fantastic.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7arQ5Ialtw&fea ... r_embedded

Been hearing about it for some weeks now. It's called a Lip dub and was inspired by the one in Grand Rapids, USA. Through Lincoln City which takes you from the High Bridge near the bottom of the High Street right up Steep Hill to the Cathedral. I've never seen anything like this before. I've never seen people get up Steep Hill this quickly either!

That's really nice and has a good message. It reminds me of the "Where the Hell is Matt?" videos which I LOVE.
www.wherethehellismatt.com/

[Menolly]

My BIL passed and the funeral is scheduled for Friday. Thanks to my sister's shul, and finding basically a half price fare via Hotwire, I will be in Pittsburgh this weekend. Thursday and Friday are booked; I may go to services Saturday, but I doubt it. I'll be leaving Monday evening, so may have time earlier in the day Monday.

So, if anyone is around the Pittsburgh area Saturday, Sunday, and possibly early Monday, let me know. Supposedly Hyperception is flying Beorn up as well, but I have not heard of any definite times, so I won't hold my breath. We'll see. Beorn and I are the only family my sister has, other than cousins we are not really close to. I hope we can both be there.

[Avatar]

Sorry to hear it Menolly. Thinking of you guys.

--A

[sgt.null]

our sympathies Menolly.

one day of Ramadan left. awful week of work. have hated every freaking moment.

[lorin]

Sorry for your loss, Menolly. Wish I was in the Pittsburgh area so we could visit.

one day of Ramadan left. awful week of work. have hated every freaking moment.

I live next to a Mosque and across the street from a Baptist church. I actually have a good relationship with the Muslims that go there. They ignore me and I ignore them. It's perfect. Of course I think it is a very different quality of person that goes to a Mosque in a wealthy town in Long Island and the population you deal with. At night I take a glass of wine and sit out in back and listen to their prayers. They are really beautiful (especially with the wine)


My neighbor.


I continue to go through bad back days. I think all the twisting and reaching to pick the veggies has exacerbated it. Also sitting stooped over making the glass sure doesn't help.

I treated myself to a pair of Birkenstocks. Everyone said how great they are. Nope, threw out my gate and hurt really bad. Too bad, I wanted them to work.

[deer of the dawn]

So sorry for what people are going through. Just when my life is having a calm, relaxing patch for once. The lack of bomb threats, teargas, police harassment and car accidents is surprisingly restorative.

Tomorrow, it's my turn to enjoy one of the less appealing benefits of Western civilization: gettin' scoped, from one end to the other. Yay.

[Cambo]

Hello, all. Been away for a bit as I adjusted to several things I needed adjusting to. Being on regular meds for my first time since psychotic episode, diet regulation (NOT my specialty) and other stuff. No offense to all you lovely people, but I tend to use places like this as an escapist refuge when I need to be facing shit I don't want to. But I'm all good now, and I'm back just in time to get properly amped for The Last Dark!

Lorin, you are an admirable woman. That is all.

So sorry to hear about Menolly's BIL and Dam-et. Well wishes out to all.