Internet dating?

[Cagliostro]

I dunno, Esmer...that's dangerous territory there. She doesn't sound like the kind of person who needs encouragement. She might just slip something into Cail's drink, and he could wake up in a cold bathtub somewhere downtown without a kidney. I wouldn't take the chance.

[Cail]

It wouldn't be the first time.

It's funny though, I just don't see myself as being that desirable. I mean, I literally haven't said a single word to this woman in nearly two months, and she won't leave me alone.

I should go eat a bunch of sushi and raw oysters, then swing by her house and drop the deuce without turning the fan on. She'll never call after that.

[lucimay]

I dunno, Esmer...that's dangerous territory there. She doesn't sound like the kind of person who needs encouragement. She might just slip something into Cail's drink, and he could wake up in a cold bathtub somewhere downtown without a kidney. I wouldn't take the chance.

[Gadget nee Jemcheeta]

I was really down on internet dating for a long time, because in its first incarnations it seemed to be a whole lot more hits and misses. I'll say this though, a lot of my friends had 'O.K. Cupid' accounts, where you take those billion question surveys and they present 'mathces'. I don't think it's a very serious dating platform, but in a hundred mile radious, the last two people I dated where match 1 and 2 after about 500 questions. I live in Cleveland, and the website is pretty popular. If I could be matched that well, then there's got to be something to it.

[Avatar]

JemCheeta!

--A

[dANdeLION]

Hey, if you can get all the sex you want, why should you date?

What exactly are you implying there?

Heh, I don't remember. I do know this much; I certainly wasn't referring to myself.

I first heard the term cougar when watching Oceans 13 in the theaters earlier this year.

I've never felt so uncomfortable as late last year, when an older (she was in her late forties, I think) and very recently divorced coworker of mine (from a different department, but worked on the same floor) out of the blue gave me an exaggerated look up and down before pronouncing that I looked like Brett Favre. This dumbfounded me for several reasons:
1) I'm an engineer and am very unused to these types of comments.
2) It was creepy - for the first time in my life I felt like I had been ogled.
3) She knew I am happily married, and after that time made a couple comments to indicate that she could care less.
4) She was obviously smoking crack - because I don't look anything like Brett Favre.

I think this was cougar behavior. Thank God she has since left the company for another job. I don't know if it qualifies as sexual harassment or not, but it was definitely an unwanted and uncomfortable situation.

dw

In my case I knew of the term (I think I heard it on an episode of Friends), but hadn't experienced it first hand until last year here at work. My company hired a 49 year old woman who I found completely unattractive in every way imaginable (seriously, there are men I find more attractive than that bitch), and she hit on me like crazy. Even worse, the put her in the cubicle right next to mine. It was embarassing and somewhat frustrating as everybody in the office thought we were an item, and any denial I made only seemed to make them more sure of it. Finally they fired that disgusting woman, and I couldn't be happier. Still, it was 8 months of hell. Funny thing is, I've had other women around that age hit on me, but it never bothered me, and I never considered them as cougars or anything out of the ordinary; this one just got under my skin because I know I have standards, and she was way, way below them, and I really was offended at the other co-workers for thinking I'd lower myself that much. And according to that hag, I look like the dude on CSI.

[Cail]

I run into them all the time at the gym. I had one get downright crappy with me when I told her I wasn't interested.

[dANdeLION]

Ahh, see, I avoid the gym. I only see women at work, church, and gigs. The only one of those I've been interested in got divorced earlier this year, and I haven't really talked much to her.

[Cail]

Lots of eye candy at the gym. I go during off-hours, so I see a lot of the 45-55 year olds that are just looking to tear up a younger man. It's kinda creepy.

[lucimay]

um...i just actually had to read back in this thread to see what that term ya'll are using means.

i still don't know what a cougar is.

i'm 49. i like sex. does that make me a cougar. or are cougars only women over 40 who are like...on the make.

am i supposed to like...NOT like sex after 40? am i supposed to have sex only with someone who is older than me?

i'm completely confused about how this term is used and if i should be offended on general principal or not.

are cougars different than those 50 year old studs who "date" 20 year old girls?

just...fill me in so i know what yer talkin about, will ya. i hate to be out of the loop. moreover, i'd REALLY hate missin a chance to be insulted.

[Cameraman Jenn]

First off, you are not a cougar Lucimay. A cougar is a really really aggressive and outspoken woman who is blatantly after a guy. Which is kind of silly to call them cougars since cougars are very shy animals unless threatened.... . Oh, and dAN, I seriously love old men in the way that I want to adopt them and call them grampa, not in the sex way. sheeesh.

[lucimay]

YOU say i'm not, jenn, but i'm still waitin for the gentlemen to answer.

i really want to know how this term is used.

[Cameraman Jenn]

Think of Mrs. Roper on Three's Company and how she was after Jack. That's a cougar.

[lucimay]

jenn. i want the guys to answer.

cail? dAN? dukkha? gosh. where'd everybody go?

[dANdeLION]

YOU say i'm not, jenn, but i'm still waitin for the gentlemen to answer.

i really want to know how this term is used.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

There you go. It's my understanding that your husband is a bit older than you, so I do not think you qualify.

[lucimay]

Cougar refers to an older woman, usually in her early 30's or 40's who sexually pursues younger men. Term used by TV comedy How I Met Your Mother (episode "Aldrin Justice"), motion picture movie Oceans 13, and the NBC reality TV show Age of Love.

so...i'm takin' it that "pursues" is the operative word here.
what is "younger"?

i mean, how does one get into "cougar" status? you hit 30 and pursue
sex with a 25 year old? or you hit 40 and pursue sex with a 38 year old?

i mean...what is creepy about it?
stalkers are stalkers. they can be older or younger and male or female.
so a female stalker is a cougar? is that it? and a male stalker is, wait, i know this one, A STUD, right?

and...guys, haven't ya'll heard of post-menopausal zest?

[dANdeLION]

It gets weird to me personally when the age difference hits the double digit mark; like Demi Moore, now age 45, dating, then marrying Ashton Kutcher, now age 29. But frankly, I have a very small problem with that, compared to my problem with any person, regardless of age, refusing to get the hint that their advances are not desired. That's what pissed me off about the office hag; she knew in no uncertain terms that I wasn't interested, and she just kept on trying.

[Seareach]

It gets weird to me personally when the age difference hits the double digit mark; like Demi Moore, now age 45, dating, then marrying Ashton Kutcher, now age 29.

Good luck to her (and him!) I say!

[dANdeLION]

Yeah, she's definitely above average. looks-wise at least.

[Cail]

When a woman in her '50s makes blatant and unencouraged sexual advances towards me while I'm in a public place (the gym) and working out, won't drop it when I say I'm not interested, gets shitty about it, then moves on to the next guy (who was probably in his late '20s) and tries it again.

That is cougarish behavior.

I'm all for sex. As a (now) single guy, I'm really all for it. But have some tact about it. Don't start graphically describing what your Kegel muscles are going to do to my thingy. That's not the least bit sexy. That would be like me describing the damage I could do to your hoo-hoo given that I do 60 minutes of intense cardio/stamina training every day.