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Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 2:45 pm
by Furls Fire
Fist and Faith wrote:Tracie, all my very best thoughts are coming your way.
Many for Jordan and Micah.
I've never gone through anything like what they are, and can only barely imagine how they must feel. Well, at least I don't worry about them as much as I would most, since they're with you.
Hugglesssssssssssssss
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:28 pm
by Wildwood
Tracie, I hope all is well with Zia, my prayers go out to you all and to Jordan and Micha as well.
Kate (aka:Wildwood
)
Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 2:55 pm
by Furls Fire
Thank you all for the prayers
Zia was back in the hospital, running high temps and seizing. In children, AIDS runs its course more rampantly than in adults. It is vicious. Attacking every system at once. I fear our time with Zia is coming to a close.
Our hopes for Naeem being cured are also running low. He still tests positive for HIV, and his CD4 has begun to dip. In all liklihood, he will be in acute infection soon. Please, please add Naeem to your thoughts, hearts and prayers.
My brother wrote this prayer for Emily, the little girls he grew to love in the hospital, who passed just a short time after he did...
I now say it for my daughter...
Divine grace intercede
In hope, in miracle, in joy
Ease the way of her passing
Lift her soul, her heart, her life
Away from the pain she endures
Sweet Jesus of the little children
Beseeching I plead to You
Release her of this burden
Enwrap her in the love of You
I pray my brother comes to take Silezia Home soon...she has endured enough.
Peace,
Tracie
Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 2:58 pm
by duchess of malfi
Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 3:14 am
by Furls Fire
3 years ago today, September 25, 2001 a radiant and brilliant light went out in the world. That light was my brother, Stephen.
I wasn't sure what to post on this day...but then I found this....
I sing this song to Heaven
Though my voice be lost
Come peace to me against the storm
Raging within this body mine
I offer up this prayer to Heaven
Though weary am I
Come grace to me against the fever
Burning within this poisoned heart
I speak this hope to Heaven
Though my eyes no longer see
Come grief to me for a world in chaos
Spinning lightless on its axis floundered
I beg this plea to Heaven
Though worthy I am not
Come passing on for me to Jordan
Where rest awaits on the River’s shore.
--Stephen C. McKinney, August 12, 2001
It was scrawled on a napkin, barely legible. His final plea for release.
So, on this day of memory, sadness and yes great joy I wish to send this out to Stephen, whose light may have gone out on this world but shines in glorious beauty in the next...
HAIL!
Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 10:30 am
by variol son
Ah Tracie. In a world caught up in its own cynicism and negativity, you and your brother have helped me to dare to look for the good in people again.
With all its sham and drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Sum sui generis
Vs
Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 11:53 am
by Revan
I'm really sorry to hear about all the bad news Furls.
(My words are inane and empty... but they all I can give.
)
variol son wrote:Ah Tracie. In a world caught up in its own cynicism and negativity, you and your brother have helped me to dare to look for the good in people again.
Ahhh... This is completely true with me as well. I have been very cynical in the Religious forum... been very negative as to what drives humans... but this thread is full of so much beauty and love... it touches my heart. Thankyou Furls.
Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2004 2:33 am
by Fist and Faith
HAIL STEPHEN!!!!!!!
To my knowledge, I've never met anyone like you. I'd hate to think that I have and just didn't realize, but I don't think so. You're as unique and amazing as they come. Though only second-hand, I'm honored to know you.
Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2004 4:01 pm
by Furls Fire
"Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest." (Psalm 55:6)
In sweet memory of Silezia Ebere Johari Hammon
Born to this world on January 18, 2003
Taken Home to Heaven on October 2, 2004
Oh, my little dove, fly away and be at rest.
How sweet is thy voice,
and thy countenance is comely.
Thou art all fair, my love;
there is no spot in thee.
Suffer the children to come unto Me.
I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth.
Thy parents shall be willing, willing in that day.
Go up; for I will deliver them.
These blessings shall come on thee,
and overtake thee,
if thou shall hearken unto the voice
of the Lord thy God.
I rejoice at Thy Word, as one that findeth spoil.
A great door was opened unto me of the Lord.
Suffer the children to come unto Me.
I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth.
Thy parents shall be willing, willing in that day.
Go up; for I will deliver them.
Oh, my little dove, perched upon the window sill,
She looks at me, longingly, singing,
"Oh, forget me not.
The covenant is not over between us yet.
Oh, please, remember,
'A little child shall lead them'."
"But Jesus said, suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto Me: for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven." (Matthew 19:14)
Silezia was laid to rest next to her Uncles Steve and Isaiah. May she now run through the garden and along the shore of the river...and may all the wishes she makes in the wishing well come true...
Goodbye my sweet angel...
Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2004 5:43 pm
by dlbpharmd
Tracie....how do you bear it?
God Bless you, Russ and your family.........
Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2004 6:02 pm
by Creator
Furls Fire wrote:"Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest." (Psalm 55:6)
......
Silezia was laid to rest next to her Uncles Steve and Isaiah. May she now run through the garden and along the shore of the river...and may all the wishes she makes in the wishing well come true...
Goodbye my sweet angel...
I am so sorry for your loss.
While I have only been at the Watch for a short time I have been touched by this thread and humbled by your grace and strength. My prayers are with you, your family, and your departed - but not forgotten - loved ones.
Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2004 6:11 pm
by duchess of malfi
Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 12:57 am
by Fist and Faith
Oh, sweet Tracie. The Watch and I send you and your family every ounce of love in us. On behalf of humanity, I thank you for loving those who need it most.
Goodbye, dear Silezia. I'll hug you when I hug my children.
Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 5:07 am
by duchess of malfi
To Furls, and her daughter Zia:
God's Loan
author unknown
I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, He said.
For you to love while he lives.
And mourn for when he is dead.
it may be six or seven years,
Or twenty-two or three.
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for Me?
he'll bring his charms to gladden you,
And should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories
As solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked this wide world over
In my search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Not think the labor in vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call,
And take him back again?
I fancied that I heard them say
Dear Lord, Thy will be done.
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may;
And for the happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay.
But should the Angels call for him
Much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
And try to understand.
Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 3:06 am
by Furls Fire
Thanks everyone
It's kind of eerie in the house now, no monitor bleeps, no vent noise, and no alarms. Not that those sounds brought us any joy, but with them silenced, it means that we no longer have Zia. Or Lynne. Or our sweet Isaiah. The house is a bit emptier, even though it is full.
Duchy, I love that poem...I have a copy of it actually hanging in a frame on my wall. It's beautiful, thank you so much for posting it.
Eric, thank you for your wonderful email and your beautiful words here. And I love your sig.
Don, we "bear what must be borne." Altho this...almost broke me. Zia knew nothing but AIDS. I only hope that thru it all, she knew how much she was loved by all of us.
Creator, welcome to Steve's thread. I always love it when new people post here. Thank you so much for your kind words.
I had a dream last night. Of Stephen tossing Zia in the air. The sky was brillaint, like crystal, it sparkled. And Zia was laughing.
Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2004 3:45 am
by Fist and Faith
Furls Fire wrote:Don, we "bear what must be borne." Altho this...almost broke me. Zia knew nothing but AIDS. I only hope that thru it all, she knew how much she was loved by all of us.
Of course she did. One of the absolutes of human beings is that babies know when they're loved. There isn't any question that she knew.
Furls Fire wrote:I had a dream last night. Of Stephen tossing Zia in the air. The sky was brillaint, like crystal, it sparkled. And Zia was laughing.
That's a FANTASTIC sight!!!!!!
Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 3:17 am
by Furls Fire
Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 6:58 am
by The Leper Fairy
That it is!
Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 2:08 pm
by Furls Fire
It was indeed beautiful. So vivid and real. I always dream in color, but this one was exceptionally brilliant. Isaiah was there too. I don't worry about Zia, she is with her uncles and she is
happy.
Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 4:15 pm
by matrixman
Haven't checked the goings-on here for a while. Very sorry to hear Zia didn't make it, Furls. But I'm also glad she is no longer suffering.
Fist and Faith wrote:One of the absolutes of human beings is that babies know when they're loved. There isn't any question that she knew.
That's something good for a clueless guy like me to know, Fist.