How do you feel today? v. 3.0

[JIkj fjds j]

Also, this is like practically the only post in Gen Disc today...where did everybody suddenly go...

--A

Yeah, I've been waiting to check out the posts by the new member, Rook. Because of my username, Rune ... sounds a little like Rook ... like, the ru and roo sounds are similar. The oon sound doesn't really sound like the ki sound, obviously ... but still!

I feel like Neo in the the film Matrix, waiting for Morpheus. We could be right on the same wavelength ...


man, I gotta get some sleep!

[Cagliostro]

Av - we're just arriving!

[Avatar]

Taking your sweet time about it.

And it looks like Rook has no leapt headlong into posting like we all wish new members would. Still, holding thumbs.

Don't feel too bad, considering it's Wednesday. More weekend, less week, that's what I say.

--A

[aliantha]

I'm there with ya, Av.

My excuse: Work has been busy. It's a little calmer today.

So my brother contacted me. My sister-in-law's health is at issue again, so he's all wound up about that -- which is his latest reason/excuse for not stroking me a check and having done with it. I should take a poll. It's been eight years -- at this point, should "S-I-L is sick again" be taken as a good reason for delay, or as an excuse? Keep in mind that S-I-L's health was fine for the first five years...

[Sorus]

He's being a doink. And I'll leave it at that because I've had a doink-filled day and I still have my claws out.

Nobody got clawed. That's the problem. I take the high road and they use me as a doormat. But I can't claw the clique leader because she's sleeping with Doink #1, and that doesn't leave many options beyond Taking It. And finding a new job. One with adults. I'm better than this. I've been repeating that to myself all day. Better. Than. This.

[Cagliostro]

Blind 'em, I say...

[Sorus]

So tempting, and yet it would only lead to more screeching and drama. Not worth it. I can get along with anyone. Ask Jenn. But this situation... well, there is a certain degree of morbid fascination in watching someone who has (successfully!) built a career around acting utterly helpless. That's about the nicest thing I can say.

[Avatar]

I can get along with anyone.

Me too, pretty much. I've always found it a very useful skill to have.

Things have quietened down a little for me...just planning on mostly coasting for the rest of the week. Barring catastrophes of course, which are always possible.

--A

[rdhopeca]

I can't sleep tonight. I've just given notice at my job of 8 years, where they have me doing the job of 3 people, for what is a minimum of a 40% paycut to do contracting work, because we live out in the middle of nowhere but I just can't do it anymore. I am terrified, but I am going nowhere otherwise. They won't promote me, won't alleviate my duties, just hired someone in Austin, TX that reports to me so now I have to deal with that on top of everything else, and they were "stunned" I was leaving. I worry for all the people on my team, I worry for my family and the risk I am taking, but most of all I am terrified of failing them and having us be broke and homeless in 5 years. I can't help but think "wtf have I done" but I just can't do it anymore, I am so sick of being on 24/7 call and having to travel everywhere and missing things and not enjoying going into the office and turning into a glorified babysitter...and there are so few options, and I don't sell myself well...I have major impostor syndrome...

What. Have. I. Done.

[Cagliostro]

Life is for living, and not worth committing yourself to slavery if you can help it. I have been in some bad situations in my life with work, and found that going somewhere else instead of living through it anymore is sometimes the best thing you can do, as scary as it is. I was laid off for a year and tried to make the best of it, but got very down and am scared of ever going through that again. And it stumbled me financially to the point that as much as I tried to fight it, I had to give into bankruptcy, which honestly was the best thing I could have done, and wish I had not fought it as long as I did.
However, and this is a big however, I also live in a place with a lot of job options (Denver Colorado) so there is usually something elsewhere that I could be doing, even if it means extending my drive time by an hour or more. Which I'm fighting not to ever have to do again. I feel like I can usually live through the bad situations, but the times that I've gone ahead and made the scary choices for my betterment, it usually worked out for the better. But I usually line up the other job first because of the fear I developed from being laid off a year. With that said, a move might be suggested if you live in the middle of nowhere and can't line anything else up.
Good luck to you!

[aliantha]

What Cag said. I've only left a job without having something else lined up one time, but it turned out to be the best thing I could have done. Good luck, Rob.

Sorus, I think you're right that my brother's being a doink. I'm having my lawyer draw up the quitclaim deed. Presumably Bro can find the time to sit down and write me a check. And also -- FIND ANOTHER JOB. (Although I dunno why I'm bothering, since you haven't done it the last 975 times I've said it. )

So -- Fun with Pivot Charts continues. So far, almost everyone has sent me data and/or a spreadsheet, so it's only been a bit of retyping and a few clicks to get the pivot chart ready. Today, however, one manager sent me her whole report in Word, with her data typed into the Word doc where she wants the charts to go. Glad I don't work for her...

I'm currently stymied by a request to stack info in a clustered bar chart. This is where a math degree would probably come in handy...

[aTOMiC]

rdhopeca I have made similar choices in the past too. (In fact what Cags said is eerily similar to what happened to me.) Its scary. You second guess yourself and it takes away from your dignity and self worth if you have trouble finding a new job. I was out of work for a year and took a huge pay cut just to get back the type of job I had always done. But in the end it worked out all for the best and though it was very difficult it was worth it. Your job situation sounds like it was intolerable so I feel for you. In the end it all works out. I don't know why or how but it just does and you'll look back on your decision and realize it was the best thing you could have done.

[Cagliostro]

And also -- FIND ANOTHER JOB. (Although I dunno why I'm bothering, since you haven't done it the last 975 times I've said it. )

I was going to extend my advice/nostalgia to Sorus as well, but decided not to as I know I've seen at least 5 of those 975 times, so I decided to leave well enough alone. But now that I'm responding to this -

SORUS!
FIND ANOTHER JOB! Seriously...just the looking for another job will make you feel better. Believe me - my last job was a place where those that did nothing were rewarded, and those that did the actual work were punished. Especially if you complained about the backwardness of things. I tried to make a difference for about 3 years, and found myself simply beating my head against the wall and getting the crappier shifts because I didn't flatly refuse to work them like the others. I worried to report this crap to HR (and so did the others) because there was a history of nothing being done, and would only make relations with the manager worse. And when I brought up to him that I didn't know why I tried so hard, he'd say that if I didn't, he would let me go. I probably should have tested that, because the only time he ever let anyone go was probably the laziest person there who was rewarded for being the laziest by being promoted to his #2. He decided his access to the computer rooms allowed him to steal the laptops in there, and he was only fired because he was caught red-handed stealing them on tape from the cameras set up around the building, and I heard he wouldn't have been fired if he didn't confess to it. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Sorry.

I have since moved into a much better situation, which the pay is better but the cost of insurance actually meant I was making less money. But a MUCH healthier environment. I had no confidence in my ability after allowing myself to be treated this way, and I was scared to look for another job. But as soon as I did, I felt better. I'm much happier now since I got out of the place...believe me.

Oh, and @Tom...it seems like there are places that prey on people like us and play on our insecurities, and make us feel like we'll never find anything as good again, where there are heaps of better places all over the place. Finding them is the hard part. And keeping them from changing into one of these places is the other hard part.

[Sorus]

Good luck, rdhopeca. I dearly wish I could do the same, but the terror of unemployment is just too great.

Because I have been looking for a new job for some time now. Every time I have a 'what am I doing with my life?' panic attack I go and throw some resumes down the rabbit hole because it makes me feel like I'm doing something. But it just adds to my stress when I see a job I really want, and I don't even get a form letter rejection. Not giving up, but certainly demoralized. But yeah. Princess Doink made me work through my (unpaid) lunch break today because she Needed Something Right Now. She couldn't do it herself, because Real Women don't do anything they can make someone else do, and they certainly don't do their own heavy lifting. (I don't meet her standards for being a Real Woman for a variety of reasons. This is supposed to be a dire insult. It's fortunate that I am good at keeping a straight face.) At any rate, if she'd had to do it herself I'd have heard for a week about how I Made Her Suffer. I have been informed that I don't want to Make Her Suffer. This was presented as a fact, not a threat. It is fortunate that I was presented with this fact, because left to my own devices, I might very well have come to the wrong conclusion.

If anyone needs me, I will be in the corner banging my head against the wall.

[Avatar]

Good luck rdhopeca. It'll work out in the end. And stop worrying about impostering...if you do it well and often enough, and it becomes the reality.

Sorus, if all else fails, just kill them all and move to Africa.

--A

[Sorus]

Again, not worth it. It's all just so petty. There are so many real concerns in the world, and they're all too self-centered to see anything past what's in the mirror. Thing is, she's happy being the big fish in a little pond. Maybe I'm the one who has it wrong. I'm not happy, don't remember the last time I was happy, not sure I'd recognize happy if it bit me on the ass. I don't want what she has. Actually, she's 90% of the reason I turned down that promotion a while back. I think I just need to get out of the pond. Evolve a little, spend some time on dry land.

[Avatar]

Sounds like a plan. Need to just do it though. (I know, easier said etc. but gotta start somewhere / do something.)

--A

[Avatar]

Feel like it was a quiet day, that's how I feel.

--A

[aliantha]

Yesterday was nuts at work. Today, it's calmer. And someone else has solved a problem at work that I'd avoided dealing with for months. I didn't intend for that to happen, but I'll take it.

[Cagliostro]

Yesterday was deaddy dead dead at work, but today has been about the way I like it. Stuff to do, not needing to be too rushy about it.