Kevin's Watch

Help. Please, please, help.

I'm being stalked by underage pentecostals I met in Nashville while drunk.

The Story:

I went to visit one of my old college roommates, Angelique. She works in HR at the Gaylord Opryland hotel in Nashville, and was able to get us a room at a discounted rate.

There was a pentecostal convention there while we were there. So my ass, after getting rather drunk at one hotel bar, and then the other, when the first closed, is wandering around, in rockstar garb, with my blue hair, and my strat on my back.

And somehow I ended up entertaining a group of roughly 20 underage pentecostals for about 6 hours with tales and guitarplaying and general stupidity.

AND NOW THEY ARE STALKING ME THROUGH MYSPACE.

I think I shouldn't have told them my name.

Or spelled it for them.

Or written it down.

HELP.

I'M BEING STALKED BY UNDERAGE PENTECOSTALS!

Corrupt them.

--A

Avatar wrote:Corrupt them.

--A

That's my line!!

You've been away.

--A

there's no help for it, will robinson. they must acccept you ass their personal savior.

Avatar wrote:Corrupt them.

--A

Oh my god. That was hilarious.

Avatar wrote:Corrupt them.

--A

I feel the repeating of this is necessary.

Tarnished Sword wrote:

Avatar wrote:Corrupt them.

--A

I feel the repeating of this is necessary.

Me too.

Lucimay wrote:they must acccept you ass their personal savior.

I definitely read that as "They must accept your ass as their personal savior".

The Leper Fairy wrote:

Lucimay wrote:they must acccept you ass their personal savior.

I definitely read that as "They must accept your ass as their personal savior".

That wasn't what she said?

This is what you get for proclaiming 'House' jumped the shark.

Wayfriend wrote:

The Leper Fairy wrote:

Lucimay wrote:they must acccept you ass their personal savior.

I definitely read that as "They must accept your ass as their personal savior".

That wasn't what she said?

did i mean to say you ass or YOUR ass as or what?

I guess it doesn't help that I am the Naz, with God given Ass...


...Atleast I didn't sleep with any of them.

Oh well. On to the corrupting.

Should I just immediately suggest they all real Lord Foul's Bane, or start with something softer?

Actually, I was thinking something more extreme. But maybe Lord Foul's Bane is the place to start. Along with a side of Fantasy Bedtime Hour.

Emotional Leper wrote:Should I just immediately suggest they all real Lord Foul's Bane, or start with something softer?

I would start with Grand Theft Auto.

God. The last thing I need is underage girls fawning over me again.

And is Grand Theft Auto supposed to be the 'soft' alternative to LFB?

Emotional Leper wrote:God. The last thing I need is underage girls fawning over me again.

I can't help but quote the chorus of a Warren Zevon song:

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won't let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

Suck it up, brother.

Cagliostro wrote:

Emotional Leper wrote:God. The last thing I need is underage girls fawning over me again.

I can't help but quote the chorus of a Warren Zevon song:

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won't let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

Suck it up, brother.

The Underage have a flavour.

It's jailtime.

One of those girls, I got to sing happy birthday to. She'd just turned 15.

...

I felt so dirty.

Best way to corrupt young girls? Sleep with them. But, that aside... GTA won't work- they're girls.

If you want to go the video game route, WoW is your best bet.

If you want to go the book route, I wouldn't suggest LFB to start with... maybe something easier to get into, less rape (to start with) maybe a nice George RR Martin or the Mordent's Need series.

If you want to go the TV route, make them watch the first couple seasons of Weeds.

Oh, and alcohol. Make sure they understand that the best way to enjoy themselves is with a nice girly drink.

Urotsukidoji