The Works Of Robert Hope

[rdhopeca]

The Ballad of the Track

A train ride through the countryside,
     A wondrous thing to me,
The beauty of a land I'd never
     Ventured out to see,
But times like these are not so fair
     When you leave dreams behind,
And forgo your own priorities
     For peace you'll never find.

The tracks converged ahead of us,
     A beacon of the heart.
They pointed to my destiny,
     An ending, yet a start
As well, for I am lost among
     The masses of the land,
Support so far away from me,
     No one to hold my hand.

My camera's lens is blurred now as
     The trees move by too fast,
A flash of green and brown that's like
     A memory, sure to pass.
I wish the train would pause and let
     Me taste the frosty air,
But once I set foot on this path,
     The train no longer cared.

The rumble warns me not to sleep
     Or I might miss a scene:
A glade, a lake, a mountainside,
     So calm, and so pristine.
Perhaps a desert's fiery lair,
     Tornado's deadly breath,
The harshness of the wastelands where
     The lonely hunters tread.

The thunder of the engine roars,
     Defiant in its speed,
Forgetting all its passengers,
     Dismissing all their needs,
Cognizant only of its goal,
     Of its own destiny,
Like life the train rolls down the track,
     Ignorant of me.

[rdhopeca]

Ode on a Spanish Girl

Your hand crept into mine
Tentative, like a child learning to walk
Fearful of collapse
I swallowed protests
The stress of self-control was too much
I returned the clasp anyway
Uncertain, like you

Your eyes, dark and bottomless like a January midnight
Yet keen enough to melt the ice formed around my heart
I avoided them for fear of falling too soon

I became aware of the softness of your hand
Smooth like a spider's silk
Unwittingly, unknowingly, my fingertips explored
Because they had no other choice
What animal does not explore a new home?

Your shy smile, the one that burns me to the core of my being
Spread across your delicate features as you savored my caress
You tried to conceal the inevitable delight and failed
Your eyes sparkled, shimmering with promises
But they were too bright for me
I could not hold them without losing myself

I pulled you close to me
Denying your smile with a touch of my lips to yours
I tried to silence the winds that were breathing your name
Tried to ignore them
But they whispered in my ear
"Would you ever marry a Spanish girl?"

I didn't say no
I could not say yes
Uncertainty refused the word
Strangled it in the very act of speech
No matter that my heart had soared into midnight
Leaving my empty, lonely soul to fend for itself
That part of me that could not trust the purity of your darkness

In the eternal agony of that silence
I allowed myself a moment of joy
Because you loved me
But you did not see my smile
For you could not look into my eyes
That smile was in my heart, not on my lips

And every time you turned away
I died a little more
Until finally, when you disappeared forever
There was no life left to save
And only distant memories remained

Now every Spanish girl that passes by me has your eyes
And glides across the pavement like a dancer
She smiles as if remembering the first time that we kissed
And then moves on
Again

Sometimes in my dreams at night
I hear you asking me
"Would you ever marry a Spanish girl?"
And I answer now as I should have then

Always, my love.
Always.

[rdhopeca]

Wolfism

Tiny whimpers in the darkness
The shuffling of padded feet
I lower my fork, raise my napkin
Dabbing at the gravy dripping hot

I open the door, shooing away mosquito hordes
Gray eyes meet yellow in the dark
Fangs framed by a leering grin
And bloody paws

Amazed that I heard no cry of agony from the chicken coop
I reach for the rifle hanging by the door
Those cruel eyes do not flinch so much as falter
The leer fading above the congealing pool

Tiny whimpers, like breaths of anguish
Escape the insolent muzzle
A throat made to howl and growl
Rather than whine for mercy from an old farmer

The echoes of last week's slaughter ring in my ears
Wolves are only good for one thing, after all
The coop is decorated with the murderous evidence
Of their savage handiwork from times past

Destruction is their way of things
And I fight fire with the same
One less wolf on the prowl in the wilderness
One more chicken left alive to bear the fruits of my labor

The beast shuffles again, slowly, achingly
The blood dripping under the vanishing grin
Growing, seeping from beneath mud-stained fur
Brown like molasses

Bitter eyes have lost their cruelty in the presence of pain
Bitter tears would form in mine if not for their previous butchery
If it were a man, I might believe that it was unlike its kindred canines
But even wounded, it is still a wolf, and they are all alike

As I close my finger on the trigger
Marveling at the lack of fear in the depths of gold
I hear faint whispers of a remembered conversation
A diatribe on the shortcomings of man

The staunch defense of my fellow man that fell on her deaf ears
Ears made deaf not by nature or by happenstance
But by fierce patriarchal brutality
And blind unquestioned authority

Her obedience to the whip
Because no other option remained
Submitting to the evil
The slow, demonic torture of the soul

She had thought the same thing
You know, man does not compare well
When held to the wolf's standard
A wolf makes no pretense about his avenues of destruction

And she had said the very same thing
Men are all alike
All they do is hurt and kill and destroy
When have they ever done anything else

I had defended the decent men who remained
Outcast her unseemly anger, her generalities
Relevant though they were
In defense of my own honor

I had never raised my hand against another
I was a simple man, a farmer, a provider
I had no desire to feed on the flesh of the young
Or slake my thirst with virgin blood

His wolfen eyes held me in firm reproach
Echoing my replies
Hurling them into my teeth
Even as another whimper moaned across the desolate sand

Yesterday he may have fed upon my chickens
Tomorrow he might return for a bite of lamb
But tonight, I put my rifle away
And went to fetch bandages

[rdhopeca]

Sapphire

your eyes are blue
I didn't know until just now
last night
the shades of darkness
the depths of shadows
and I, looking away with a practiced smile
our continued conversation
empty
like that glass upon the bar
consumed
without considering the flavor
this morning
contact
it burns
like the sting of summer leather
on uncovered thighs
unprotected vulnerable
motionless
the tremors rise like butterflies
as we are introduced anew
and I am still as stone
your eyes are blue

[rdhopeca]

Independence

Do not think of me with rue
This Independence Day. Awakening,
With echoes of the fireworks still ringing
In my ears, I look upon this new

Beginning with a sense of hope.
For what does freedom mean to one like me?
What choices would it grant, what ecstasies,
What agonies, what else would it evoke?

I glance upon the document
That trembles in my hand. For much too long
I searched for options, prayed that I was wrong,
But now I've seen the truth of how it went.

Like conquered nations in times past,
The spiteful tyrants who command them still,
So I was held ensnared against my will,
My liberty denied until the last.

Freedom to pursue my dreams,
To chase the rainbow I envisioned long
Before I chose this path, to sing the songs
My heart had written. Compromise, it seems

Became the chains that held me here,
It drove the nail that spiked me to the floor,
My strength removed, that still-unopened door,
My freedom waiting, there, beyond the fear.

I look ahead to life alone.
My steps no longer falter as I ponder
Solitude. The quiet is a wonder
To me, my thoughts are finally my own,

Is this the essence left behind?
A river sparkling and running true,
The stars that led my once-misguided youth,
Existing only in my mind.

No one crouches over me,
I place my pen upon the page and roam
The wilderness of my imagined home.
This is how my life is meant to be,

To wander until the journey's done,
To make the time progress as I see fit,
To keep the fires burning, candles lit,
To find my happiness before it's gone.

So do not think of me with rue
This Independence Day. The answer's clear:
I sign and sever all that I held dear,
And face my future's freedoms without you.

[rdhopeca]

Would It Surprise You

would it surprise you to know
that I have been thinking about you?
the way I might think about the rain
in the midst of summer
or softly alluring clouds
on the clearest night?

would it surprise you to know
that even as my life nears perfection
I fear that it will always fall short
I guess it's human nature to dwell
on what might have been

[rdhopeca]

Rival Memory

She looks across at me and whispers,
     "I remember nights of
Beaches, blankets, music, wine,
The stars revealed, his hand in mine;
     It felt so right,
     That love's delight.
And still, my heart remembers

"Hidden smiles and stolen glances,
     The truth we only knew;
Our souls that soared on wings of gold,
Our dreams to marry and grow old
     Together. We
     Were meant to be,
Whatever circumstance.

"And I remember that first time
     When I picked up the phone:
My fingers shaking on the dial,
My pulse was racing all the while,
     Wisdom lacking,
     Voices cracking:
A poet without rhyme;

"And yet he still consented, he
     Admitted to the same.
How was I to know affection
Lurked beneath his calm reflection?
     In those eyes
     There were no lies,
True love was given me."

I leaned back in this awkward chair
     And matched her wistful gaze.
For I had loved without condition,
That rise from singular affliction,
     The pain subdued
     The thorn removed
The ache no longer there,

And I had loved with heart and soul
     Like nature loves the sea,
The dauntless power of the wave,
The essence of my heart it saved,
     With every breath,
     Returned from death,
That heart, once halved, now whole,

And I had felt true love the same
     But kept it from the world.
I had never measured now
Against a past that failed me. How
     Can I give faith
     To love today,
When long-dead ghosts remain?

She looks at me expectantly
     Across our empty plates,
But words have been made meaningless,
My mind returned to past caress,
     And hers still there
     Within his care.
I falter silently,

And slowly ease my hand away.
     Within its case, the ring.
Its destiny is isolation,
Safe from all this recollection:
     Love eludes,
     The past intrudes
Upon the best of days.

[rdhopeca]

Once Upon a Night

Once upon a night we were in love.
We measured it in hours instead of days or months or years.
Finally my wounds were healed,
     my heart and mind and soul
Had found the answers that once lay concealed.

Time had come and gone so quickly then.
Morning light embraced the blinds, revealed departure's need,
And broke the spell enlightening,
     it ended future dreams,
Reduced us both to tears of reckoning.

That night, it held us, two hearts made as one.
Our bodies molded beneath the sheets, my arm about your waist,
A clasp of love and purity
     and intimacy there,
Sharing what was not allowed to be.

This time was never meant to happen here.
Friends we were, our hearts belonged to others we denied,
So that for this moment we might test
     the love we thought we felt,
Before our fears put our desires to rest.

Touching, only innocent and safe.
Never did it cross our minds to make this evening more
Than what it was, a chance to see
     if love was what we knew.
Making love would seal our fates for sure.

Insecurity arose with shame.
All I wanted was to hold you until the end of time.
But you belonged to someone else,
     you were not mine to love,
And so I had to deny what I felt.

It took a while, but in the end I smiled.
Whatever circumstance arose, still you were here with me.
Once I realized that truth,
     the pain just went away,
And all my thoughts returned to holding you.

Finally perfection did I know.
My lips, they brushed across your back, a single light caress.
The words they could not speak aloud,
     instead they showed with touch.
My soul had recognized what I had found.

Once upon a night we were in love.
And when we left to go our separate ways into the dawn,
I felt the tears upon your face
     and then you pulled away,
A night that we had shared now laid to rest,
A love that we would never dare to test.

[rdhopeca]

Sister In Disguise

At first, her goal was self-discovery, or so she thought,
She set out to be different from the options life had brought,
Imagining that if she would rebel against constraints,
A newer person, fresh and whole, is what she might remain.

In searching to define herself by standards hers alone,
She has removed herself from expectations held before.
She turns her back on all ideas that others might reveal,
For if she does not make the rules, the game's no longer real.

She thinks the journey reached the end when she was finally sure
That the family surrounding her could not accept her cure.
It's not as though she's suddenly repulsive to their eyes,
But still they see potential that may not be realized.

It begs of me a question about motive and design:
By trying to become the exact opposite, she finds
A sense of self, but is it truly her reality,
Or rather the antithesis of all they thought she'd be?

Isn't self-deception always hard to recognize?
Requiring the veil of insecurity to rise?
Revealing what lies at the heart, the secrets held within,
That lead to choices made no matter what the outcome is.

If she had based this change upon the thoughts she held inside,
I might believe that she had finally found her peace of mind.
But as she defines herself by the rejection of their claims,
She's just as false as she would be if she had stayed the same.

I suppose the journey's far from done, regardless of what she'd say,
It's hard to look beyond deception, black and white to gray,
As time goes on, perhaps she'll see that self defines its own,
And find a path that's true to what her heart has always known.

[danlo]

Wow! Great postings-just scanned but could tell that this is some hard hitting stuff-Wolfism caught my eye in particular, will be back to enjoy in full-I've only vaguely heard of this guy-do you have a bio?

[rdhopeca]

Wow! Great postings-just scanned but could tell that this is some hard hitting stuff-Wolfism caught my eye in particular, will be back to enjoy in full-I've only vaguely heard of this guy-do you have a bio?

Thanks! Wolfism is one of my personal favorites, because rather than come from some inner conflict, its in direct reply to someone I saw at a Poetry Reading. There are echoes of her words in the latter parts of the piece.

I do not have a bio, should I post one here? It wouldn't say too much

[rdhopeca]

I've also added another thread with my collective work titled "Hunter".

kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=16659