This is actually the first poem that I have written in probably 10 years, ifnot even longer. I have no where else to go with it, so I figured that I would share it with every one here.
And for those of you who have read some of my past writings, well..this is definately not typical of what I have done in the past.
So here goes...
Taken
Take a baby, away from home
Take a mother, now she's all alone
Take a father, take him off to jail
Take a family, hear the children wail
Take a story, rip it from it's page
Take a poem, and fill this poem with rage
Take a song, make this song so blue
Take a book, burn it so all can view
Take a bird, clip from it both it's wings
Take a listen, as it no longer sings
Take a fish, remove it from it's flow
Take a look, watch as it struggles so
Take a mind, turn it inside out
Take a soul, break it down with doubt
Take a spirit, remove from it all it's life
Take a heart and jab it with a knife
You take me to such a dreary place,
If only I could touch your face
Then these words would vanish away
Never to return on another day
But until that moment has found it's due
I will keep my distance, ever sad but true
For eternal maybe this was never to be
Even as I wander thus, farther out to sea
Taken (My first contribution in a very very long time)
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Linna Heartbooger
- Are you not a sine qua non for a redemption?
- Posts: 3896
- Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 11:17 pm
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Wow... very emotionally-gripping.
I especially think that starting out with the concrete (individual people, members of a family, starting with the most helpless one), and then moving on to the more abstract (poem, song, metaphors for what was done to someone's life) - was really effective for "getting me" into it.
I especially think that starting out with the concrete (individual people, members of a family, starting with the most helpless one), and then moving on to the more abstract (poem, song, metaphors for what was done to someone's life) - was really effective for "getting me" into it.
"People without hope not only don't write novels, but what is more to the point, they don't read them.
They don't take long looks at anything, because they lack the courage.
The way to despair is to refuse to have any kind of experience, and the novel, of course, is a way to have experience."
-Flannery O'Connor
"In spite of much that militates against quietness there are people who still read books. They are the people who keep me going."
-Elisabeth Elliot, Preface, "A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael"
They don't take long looks at anything, because they lack the courage.
The way to despair is to refuse to have any kind of experience, and the novel, of course, is a way to have experience."
-Flannery O'Connor
"In spite of much that militates against quietness there are people who still read books. They are the people who keep me going."
-Elisabeth Elliot, Preface, "A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael"
Hey guys...thanks for all of the positive feedback. I have been out a while, and not on as much as I have been previously.
I am hoping that this latest addition to my collection will get me back into writing, and all of this positive feedback is definately helping me get motivated to write once again.
J.
I am hoping that this latest addition to my collection will get me back into writing, and all of this positive feedback is definately helping me get motivated to write once again.
J.
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Orlion
- The Gap Into Spam
- Posts: 6666
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 12:30 am
- Location: Getting there...
- Been thanked: 1 time
Great structure and content! I am thoroughly impressed, something that hasn't happened in a while to me with regards to poetry. Thanks for showing me that even after all the billions of verses that have cluttered the whole of poetry, that new and undeniable beauty can still arise!
'Tis dream to think that Reason can
Govern the reasoning creature, man.
- Herman Melville
I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all!
"All creation is a huge, ornate, imaginary, and unintended fiction; if it could be deciphered it would yield a single shocking word."
-John Crowley
Govern the reasoning creature, man.
- Herman Melville
I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all!
"All creation is a huge, ornate, imaginary, and unintended fiction; if it could be deciphered it would yield a single shocking word."
-John Crowley