Kevin's Watch

Diagnostic Overview:

You are unbalanced but still functional in society. Barely. Consider voluntary admission to a whacko-ward until you figure out what the hell your problem is. You shouldn't be left alone for any length of time because your bizarre ideas will get you into trouble. Again. People who answer as you did never read instruction manuals and fail to change the oil in their cars.

Long-Term Prognosis:

Because of your impairments, your life is destined to be one long train-wreck. A lobotomy might possibly give you a better outlook and more insight into your own behavior. It would also keep you off the damn streets, which everyone agrees would be a good thing. PS- You hate your mother and father; you only think you love them. Isn't that weird?

Diagnostic Overview:

Your responses indicate that you are almost certain to die in a whorehouse, but not as a customer. Your self-destructive impulses can be put to good use and channeled creatively, but that'll never happen. You also watch too much Oprah. People who answer as you did are often thieves or liars or snitches.
Long-Term Prognosis:

Despite your condition and its behavioral limitations, remember you can always find work as a drug-dealer or prositute if you really try. Chances are you're a Libra, like most hopeless souls. (That doesn't really mean anything, but we just figured we'd mention it.) Strangely enough, you don't hate your mother and father, but you do hate your grandmother and grandfather. Who knows what in the world that means.

Diagnostic Overview:

You're passing for normal, which isn't bad considering how screwed up you really are. What if they find about about you and the neighbor kid? Plead a stress-coupled-with-insanity-defense, and use this test as corroborating evidence of what a gullible dipstick you are. People who answer as you did often clip their nails obsessively.

Long-Term Prognosis:

Despite your condition and its behavioral limitations, remember you can always find work as a drug-dealer or prositute if you really try. Chances are you're a Libra, like most hopeless souls. (That doesn't really mean anything, but we just figured we'd mention it.) Strangely enough, you don't hate your mother and father, but you do hate your grandmother and grandfather. Who knows what in the world that means.

Your responses indicate that you have unresolved issues with your mother, your best friend's mother, and even your mother's mother. You should be ashamed of yourself, you disgusting pervert. You should be shot and then hanged, then locked up for a million billion years. That would teach you. People who answer as you did like pudding.

Long-Term Prognosis:

Because of your impairments, your life is destined to be one long train-wreck. A lobotomy might possibly give you a better outlook and more insight into your own behavior. It would also keep you off the damn streets, which everyone agrees would be a good thing. PS- You don't hate your mother and father; you only think you do. Isn't that weird?

aliantha wrote:Awww, what a pretty kitty! (Psst, Shaun, your steering wheel is on the wrong side of your car. )

Diagnostic Overview:

Your responses show that you're a woman who is upset because the male patriarchal linear-thinking hierarchical gender-hegemonic colonial objectification of women has gotten your self-concept out of alignment. Poor baby, have a nice hot bath and a good cry. Your life will still be a mess, but so what? People who answer as you did are often fanatical about keeping their desk tidy.
Long-Term Prognosis:

Because you have no regard for human life, fair play, or mercy, your only career choice is to be a lawyer. Although debilitating, this kind of emotional disorder is treatable with a strict regimen of drug therapy and shock sessions. You may never be completely normal, but this mental illness will not be passed on to your offspring.