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Worm of Despite
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The Sexy Thread

Post by Worm of Despite »

Let's light a candle. Image

Put a little music on.

You know you want to.

Image

This is the sexy thread.

Breathe in the Hoff. Look at the Hoff. Pay attention to the music. You know you want to.

Look into my eyes.

Oh yeah.

Image

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Mm! MMM! Ah! OH yeah. Like that. Ahh. AHHHH!!!!!!

OH YEAH.

OH YEAH.

Thanks. I enjoyed it.


I'm sorry the thread was so short. We could make it longer.
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Post by Cagliostro »

In before the lock!
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Life is a waste of time
Time is a waste of life
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Post by aliantha »

Do you people have no other hobbies?

;)
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Post by Iolanthe »

You can keep your Hoff. This is a real man (Colin Firth as Mr Darcy - the bit that wasn't in the book, but should have been!)

Image
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Worm of Despite
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Post by Worm of Despite »

Personally I'd like to be the meat in a Kelly MacDonald and Tina Fey sandwich.
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Post by DoctorGamgee »

aliantha wrote:Do you people have no other hobbies?

;)
Great! Now you've opened the door for their OTHER hobbies... :roll:

:lol: :biggrin: :wink:
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deer of the dawn
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Post by deer of the dawn »

:LOLS:

*puts on Barry White*
Yeah, the Hoff doesn't do it for me, either.

Now, this guy...
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Post by lorin »

Image
and
Image
and
Image
The loudest truth I ever heard was the softest sound.
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Post by aliantha »

You had me until the precioussss.
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Post by Worm of Despite »

All members of the Watch should reply to this thread. New members. Old members.

Long ones. Short ones.

We want members.

Members.
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High Lord Tolkien
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Post by High Lord Tolkien »

Image
https://thoolah.blogspot.com/

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Post by aliantha »

Must not be self-measurement -- the numbers would skew somewhat higher. :twisted:
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Post by Worm of Despite »

Where should the measurement start? Base or top of the shaft to the groin? I keep thinking the .5 I added counts. But I may be doing it wrong.
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Post by Cameraman Jenn »

Didn't I leave the watch after getting asked to tone it down in a thread much like this many moons ago?

kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic ... &start=140
Now if I could just find a way to wear live bees as jewelry all the time.....

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Post by Worm of Despite »

I was not bothered by that thread. Just the fact the Pr0n Thread got deleted. But now I don't care that it got deleted and yet an equally saucy thread persisted. This thread is this thread. It's the Sexy Thread. Enjoy!
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Post by sgt.null »

Image
Lenin, Marx
Marx, Lennon
Good Dog...
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Post by Harbinger »

nteresting Facts From jackinworld.com
With a rigid ruler handy, get a full erection. Lay the ruler along the top of your penis (that is, the side that faces upward when you're standing with your penis sticking straight out), and press the end of the ruler firmly against your body (where the pubic hair is). Hold your penis against the ruler with your hand, straighten out as much as possible any curvature that may exist, and try to hold your penis so that it's sticking straight out from your body. Then, looking straight down, determine the ruler reading at the very end of your penis.
They come in all sizes
Which of the following ranges reflects your erect penis length, as measured by the above method?

Under 4": 1.1%
Between 4" and 5": 7.3%
5.0" to 5.4": 11.5%
5.5" to 5.9": 21.9%
6.0" to 6.4": 25.6%
6.5" to 6.9": 16.8%
7.0" to 7.4": 9.3%
7.5" to 7.9": 3.9%
8.0" to 8.4": 1.4%
8.5" to 8.9": 0.6%
over 9.0": 0.4%

Approximate average (based on ranges): 6.13"
Approximate average of those age 16 and over: 6.20"


Approximate average erect penis length (age 16 and above) vs. preferred underwear type:

Briefs-wearers: 6.00"
Boxers-wearers: 6.25"
Boxer-briefs-wearers: 6.29"
None: 6.33"

Interesting — guys who wear briefs have shorter penises than guys who wear looser styles, or nothing. But it's impossible to determine cause and effect: Does the underwear syle affect penis size, or does penis size affect a person's choice of underwear? More studies are needed!
Approximate average erect penis length (age 16 and above) vs. self-arousal (Question 12):

I get very aroused: 6.38"
I don't find myself arousing at all: 5.98"

One's penis size (erect, anyway) has a significant effect on how aroused one gets by his own naked image.
How would you describe the typical size of your flaccid (non-erect) penis relative to your erect size?

It grows a lot with an erection and shrivels up a lot when it's soft: 61.5% (average length: 5.96")
It grows significantly with an erection, but it still has some length when it's soft: 36.5% (average length: 6.41")
It doesn't grow by much when I get an erection; it just gets stiffer: 2.1% (average length: 6.25")

Which of the following do you like most about your penis?

Its length: 11.9% (average length: 6.87")
Its thickness: 19.0%
Its shape: 20.7%
Its hairiness: 2.2%
The way it feels in my hand: 46.2%


Which of the following do you like least about your penis — that is, what would you change, if you could?

Its length: 49.9% (average length: 5.76")
Its thickness: 13.5%
Its curvature up or down: 7.8%
Its curvature left or right: 11.5%
Its hairiness: 17.3%

Average approximate penis size based on ethnicity (age 16 and over):

African/black: 6.74"
Native American: 6.49"
Middle Eastern: 6.28"
European/white: 6.26"
Hispanic: 6.03"
Asian/Pacific Islander: 5.50"

We've all heard the politically correct claim that penis size doesn't vary by ethnicity, but these findings show a clear correlation, at least among certain groups. African-based ethnicities have the largest average penises by far, and Asians have the smallest, with over an inch separating the two — quite a lot for considering that these are broad averages. Of course, there are many, many exceptions in all groups.

How would you describe the color of the hair on your head? (If it has grayed or fallen out, answer based on the hair you had when you were younger.)

Black: 18.3% (average penis length: 5.92")
Dark brown: 47.7% (average penis length: 6.15")
Light brown/dirty blond: 25.1% (average penis length: 6.20")
Blond: 6.3% (average penis length: 6.24")
Red: 2.6% (average penis length: 6.09")

Guys with blond hair, on average, have the largest penises. As hair color darkens, average penis size goes down; those with black hair have the smallest average penises. Guys with red hair (whom some believe have the largest penises) are actually below average in size, coming in second to last in this breakdown. Understand, though, that this is only an average correlation; many blond-haired guys reported having small penises, and many dark-haired guys reported having large ones.
What is your shoe size? (Unfortunately we neglected to consider that non-U.S. countries use different shoe-size units; therefore, for this question only people from the U.S. were considered.)
Average shoe size: 10.8

Average penis length for those age 16 and above with shoe sizes 7.5 and under: 5.85" (56 people fit into this category.)
Average penis length for those age 16 and above with shoe sizes 9 and under: 5.96"
Average penis length for those age 16 and above with shoe sizes 9.5 through 12: 6.19"
Average penis length for those age 16 and above with shoe sizes 12.5 and over: 6.42"
Average penis length for those age 16 and above with shoe sizes 14 and over: 6.62" (123 people fit into this category.)

Interestingly, there does appear to be a direct correlation between average adult shoe size and average adult penis size, which seems to debunk the claim that there is no such correlation — although again, this is based on averages of many JackinWorld readers.
If someone gave you a bottle of pills advertised to enlarge your penis, and you took them for the recommended time period, what do you think would happen?

Probably nothing: 91.8%
They'd probably enlarge my penis significantly: 7.0%
I've taken penis-enlarging pills, and they had no effect: 0.7%
I've taken penis-enlarging pills, and they enlarged my penis significantly: 0.4%


Penis Size: NA inches Value: $0
How did we calculate your results?
Not too big, not too small was our policy here. 8 inches was awarded the highest value, while 3 inches was the most heavily penalized.
Does Size Matter?
A survey of 556 women between the ages of 19-49 asked participants to evaluate the importance of penis length and girth.
18% said penis length was very important, 22% said penis girth was very important.
57% said penis length was somewhat important, 53% said penis girth was somewhat important.
25% said penis length was unimportant, 25% said penis girth was unimportant
All I have to say ia that if you have 6.5 no one will complain.
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Iolanthe
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Post by Iolanthe »

deer of the dawn wrote::LOLS:

*puts on Barry White*
Yeah, the Hoff doesn't do it for me, either.

Now, this guy...
Image
Who is "this guy" Deer? The image disappeared, like mine often do.

We can leave the boys to their "who can pee furthest up the wall" games :lol:
I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order!

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Post by peter »

High Lord Tolkien wrote:Image
Spare a thought for the 1% down at 3.0 Guys - there but for the grace of God etc, etc. (Wonder if Brad Pitt is down in that group - he said in an interview he was "hung like a hamster" on one occasion. [thinks - or did he mean it was covered in brown and white fur with a few whiskers at one end.......nahhh, couldn't be.])
President of Peace? You fucking idiots!

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aliantha
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Post by aliantha »

Iolanthe wrote:
deer of the dawn wrote::LOLS:

*puts on Barry White*
Yeah, the Hoff doesn't do it for me, either.

Now, this guy...
Image
Who is "this guy" Deer? The image disappeared, like mine often do.

We can leave the boys to their "who can pee furthest up the wall" games :lol:
Agreed. :lol: (The pic is Michalangelo's David.)
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