The depressive stuff

[Vader]

I still dream of dad
Though he died

Can it get any darker?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAxDw50QB3A

Well I loved my aunt
But she died
And my uncle Lou
Then he died
I'm searching for
Something which can't
Be found but I'm hoping
I still dream of dad
Though he died

Everything dies

My ma's so sick
She might die
Though my girl's quite fit
she will die
Still looking for someone
Who was around
Barely coping
Now I hate myself
Wish I'd die

No why? Oh God I miss you
No, why? Oh God I miss you
I really miss you

[Vraith]

Bit of a different mood, there's this one:

Teddy sniffing glue he was 12 years old
Fell from the roof on East Two-nine
Cathy was 11 when she pulled the plug
On 26 reds and a bottle of wine
Bobby got leukemia, 14 years old
He looked like 65 when he died
He was a friend of mine

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

G-berg and Georgie let their gimmicks go rotten
So they died of hepatitis in upper Manhattan
Sly in Vietnam took a bullet in the head
Bobby OD'd on Drano on the night that he was wed
They were two more friends of mine
Two more friends that died

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

Mary took a dry dive from a hotel room
Bobby hung himself from a cell in the tombs
Judy jumped in front of a subway train
Eddie got slit in the jugular vein
And Eddie, I miss you more than all the others,
I salute you my brother

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

Herbie pushed Tony from the Boys' Club roof
Tony thought that his rage was just some goof
But Herbie sure gave Tony some bitchen proof
"Hey," Herbie said, "Tony, can you fly?"
But Tony couldn't fly . . . Tony died

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

Brian got busted on a narco rap
He beat the rap by rattin' on some bikers
He said, hey, I know it's dangerous,
But it sure beats Riker's
But the next day he got offed
By the very same bikers

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

[lorin]

SNIPER
Harry Chapin


It is an early Monday morning.
The sun is becoming bright on the land.
No one is watching as he comes a-walking.
Two bulky suitcases hang from his hands.

He heads towards the tower that stands in the campus.
He goes through the door, he starts up the stairs.
The sound of his footsteps, the sound of his breathing,
The sound of the silence when no one was there.

I didn't really know him.
He was kind of strange.
Always sort of sat there.
He never seemed to change.

He reached the catwalk. He put down his burden.
The four sided clock began to chime.
Seven AM, the day is beginning.
So much to do and so little time.

He looks at the city where no one had known him.
He looks at the sky where no one looks down.
He looks at his life and what it has shown him.
He looks for his shadow it cannot be found.

He was such a moody child, very hard to touch.
Even as a baby he never smiled too much. No, no. No, no.

You bug me, she said.
You're ugly, she said.
Please hug me, I said.
But she just sat there
With the same flat stare
That she saves for me alone
When I'm home.
When I'm home.
Take me home.

He laid out the rifles, he loaded the shotgun,
He stacked up the cartridges along the wall.
He knew he would need them for his conversation.
If it went as he planned, then he might use them all.

He said Listen you people I've got a question
You won't pay attention but I'll ask anyhow.
I found a way that will get me an answer.
Been waiting to ask you 'til now.
Right now!

Am I?
I am a lover who's never been kissed.
Am I?
I am a fighter who's not made a fist.
Am I?
If I'm alive then there's so much I've missed.
How do I know I exist?
Are you listening to me?
Are you listening to me?
Am I?

The first words he spoke took the town by surprise.
One got Mrs. Gibbons above her right eye.
It blew her through the window wedged her against the door.
Reality poured from her face, staining the floor.

He was kind of creepy,
Sort of a dunce.
I met him at the corner bar.
I only dated the poor boy once,
That's all. Just once, that was all.

Bill Whedon was questioned as he stepped from his car.
Tom Scott ran across the street but he never got that far.
The police were there in minutes, they set up barricades.
He spoke right on over them in a half-mile circle.
In a dumb struck city his pointed questions were sprayed.

He knocked over Danny Tyson as he ran towards the noise.
Just about then the answers started coming. Sweet, sweet joy.
Thudding in the clock face, whining off the walls,
Reaching up to where he sat, their answering calls.

Thirty-seven people got his message so far.
Yes, he was reaching them right were they are.

They set up an assault team. They asked for volunteers.
They had to go and get him, that much was clear.
And the word spread about him on the radios and TV's.
In appropriately sober tone they asked "Who can it be?"

He was a very dull boy, very taciturn.
Not much of a joiner, he did not want to learn.
No, no. No, no.

They're coming to get me, they don't want to let me
Stay in the bright light too long.
It's getting on noon now, it's going to be soon now.
But oh, what a wonderful sound!

Mama, won't you nurse me?
Rain me down the sweet milk of your kindness.
Mama, it's getting worse for me.
Won't you please make me warm and mindless?

Mama, yes you have cursed me.
I never will forgive you for your blindness.
I hate you!

The wires are all humming for me.
And I can hear them coming for me.
Soon they'll be here, but there's nothing to fear.
Not any more though they've blasted the door.

As the copter dropped the gas he shouted "Who cares?".
They could hear him laughing as they started up the stairs.
As they stormed out on the catwalk, blinking at the sun,
With their final fusillade his answer had come.

Am I?
There is no way that you can hide me.
Am I?
Though you have put your fire inside me.
Am I?
You've given me my answer can't you see?
I was!
I am!
and now I will be,
I will be,
I will be,
I will be,
I will be,
I WILL BE!

[Sorus]

The Crüxshadows - Adrift

I lost sight of the raging waters
below the surface where I lay
fractures slip like ghosting fish
below my fingertips
I watched the days in proud procession
upon the icy pools above
and saw the stars like distant fires
that follow each day through

Cold dawn in the world that I made
cold water and chiseled stone
maybe time will one day find me
maybe then I'll get back home
cold dawn in a world that I made
my memories are all I know
so if you're searching, I'm still waiting
where is time to bring me home

I don't want to be here
I don't need to be here
I don't want to be here
I don't need to be here

Cold dawn in the world that I made
cold water and chiseled stone
maybe time will one day find me
maybe then I'll get back home
cold dawn in a world that I made
my memories are all I know
so if you're searching, I'm still waiting
where is time to bring me home

I drew regret with a dull blue pencil
deep beneath the danger mark
it left me here below the ocean
below the wreckage of my heart
and now I breathe this cold dead water
no time to give what others steal
no song of life to make things better
no warmth in love for me to feel

Cold dawn in the world that I built
cold water and chiseled stone
maybe time will one day find me
maybe then I'll get back home
cold dawn in a world that I made
my memories are all I know
so if you're searching, I'm still waiting
where is time to bring me home

[sgt.null]

joy division - love will tear us apart

When routine bites hard, and ambitions are low
And resentment rides high, but emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways, taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again --

Why is the bedroom so cold? You've turned away on your side
Is my timing that flawed - our respect run so dry?
Yet there's still this appeal that we've kept through our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again --

You cry out in your sleep - all my failings expose
There's a taste in my mouth, as desperation takes hold
Just that something so good just can't function no more
When love, love will tear us apart again --

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8JQpHBQ4jA

[michaelm]

Love Will Tear Us apart blew me away when I heard it. Hard to make out all the lyrics when you listen to it, but it's heart-wrenching when you consider that Ian Curtis was on the downward slide to deepest depression and suicide when he recorded it.

I find some Tom Waits stuff to be quite depressive when he is singing observations of other people's lives.

Invitation to the Blues

Well she's up against the register with an apron and a spatula,
Yesterday's deliveries, tickets for the bachelors
She's a moving violation from her conk down to her shoes,
Well, it's just an invitation to the blues

And you feel just like Cagney, she looks like Rita Hayworth
At the counter of the Schwab's drugstore
You wonder if she might be single, she's a loner and likes to mingle
Got to be patient, try and pick up a clue

She said "How you gonna like 'em, over medium or scrambled?",
You say "Anyway's the only way", be careful not to gamble
On a guy with a suitcase and a ticket getting out of here
It's a tired bus station and an old pair of shoes
This ain't nothing but an invitation to the blues

But you can't take your eyes off her, get another cup of java,
It's just the way she pours it for you, joking with the customers
Mercy mercy, Mr. Percy, there ain't nothing back in Jersey
But a broken-down jalopy of a man I left behind
And the dream that I was chasing, and a battle with booze
And an open invitation to the blues

But she used to have a sugar daddy and a candy-apple Caddy,
And a bank account and everything, accustomed to the finer things
He probably left her for a socialite, and he didn't 'cept at night,
And then he's drunk and never even told her that her cared
So they took the registration, and the car-keys and her shoes
And left her with an invitation to the blues

'Cause there's a Continental Trailways leaving local bus tonight, good evening
You can have my seat, I'm sticking round here for a while
Get me a room at the Squire, the filling station's hiring,
And I can eat here every night, what the hell have I got to lose?
Got a crazy sensation, go or stay? now I gotta choose,
And I'll accept your invitation to the blues

[Obi-Wan Nihilo]

Life, Our life
My life, Is expendable
What do you care
Life is money, Profit is life
Money is life, Profit is life
Life is death

[sgt.null]

Sugar - Explode & Make Up (Bob Mould)

Heart holds mouth to words
Said it's gone beyond the line this time
Eyes twitch close, numb the lights turned out I'm out
The cold is in my bones
Said it's gone beyond the line this time
Shake a little off the deep end and
Tell me when it's over now and

I hate you
Then explode and make up
I threw it in the yard
Burned it in an ashtray
And I, I don't need you
Even though it's all made up
Put it in your box and put it

Show me how you been
Said it's been so long, I don't recall
Used to be this way
That's the way it always seems to go
Tired and walked away
Said it's far when you don't have a place to go
Where'd you go, tell me where am I supposed to go and

I hate you
Then explode and make up
Threw it in the yard
I burned it in an ashtray
And I, ohh I don't need you
Even though it's all made up
Put it in your box and put it

Here we go, here we go again
There you go, there you go again
As the years
They go slowly bye and bye, goodbye
After you lead the way

Oh, I hate you
Then explode then make up
I threw it in the yard
I burned it in the ashtray
I don't need you
Even though it's all made up
Put it in, put it in
Put it in, put it in, put
I hate you, oh, I hate you
Oh, I hate you

Heart holds mouth to words
Said it's gone beyond the line this time
Eyes twitch close numb the lights turned out I'm out
The cold is in my bones
Said it's gone beyond the line this time
Shake a little off the deep end and
Tell me when it's over now and

I hate you
Then explode and make up
I threw it in the yard
I burned it in an ashtray

[aliantha]

(I know, when I can relate too closely to this song, that I need to get out of my own head for a while....)

"I Am A Rock"
Paul Simon

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

[Vraith]

Hee hee...
just for fun, Ali, related to other thread you told me get out of your head:
I once placed second in talent contest in germany[not HUGE, only a couple hundred entries, give or take] doing that song and "Bridge Over Troubled Water."
[[huh...which, like Frost's "road not taken" can be taken in a dark way.]

But, well, we can't to this without Pink Floyd. Predictable...but great. Like:

I've got amazing powers of observation./And that is how I know
When I try to get through/On the telephone to you
There will be nobody home.
and:
Day after day, love turns grey/Like the skin of a dying man.
Night after night, we pretend its all right/But I have grown older and
You have grown colder and/Nothing is very much fun any more.
And I can feel one of my turns coming on/I feel cold as a razor blade,
Tight as a tourniquet/Dry as a funeral drum.

But there's some unexpected pop/known but dissed...and still no one home like:

It's empty now, no friendly face/And nothing lives within
I look around and I find no trace/To tell me what has been

So far I've come to find/There's no one here, no life I fear
I came for nothing, they have gone/And nobody's home, no one's home

I came to learn, perhaps to teach/But I can tell somehow
The world that I was sent to reach/Has got no future now

Across the galaxy to spread the word/And no one heard
I came for nothing, I'm alone/And nobody's home, no one's home

[aliantha]

"Bridge Over Troubled Water" is an awesome song, too.

[Sorus]

(I know, when I can relate too closely to this song, that I need to get out of my own head for a while....)

Mine is Crucify (Tori Amos).

Got enough guilt to start my own religion
/
Nothing I do is good enough for you

Most of my 'dark' songs don't have much personal meaning - the lyrics I posted above (previous post) actually remind me of one of my favorite episodes of BSG, to the point where I compiled a video for it. It's certainly possible to read personal meaning into it, but music tends to be very visual for me, and once a certain set of imagery gets associated it tends to stick. That said, the ones that do have personal meaning tend to be very powerful.

[Vraith]

Mine is Crucify (Tori Amos).

Oh, god I LOVE her. And "Precious Things" is one motherfucker of a dark song [and one of my faves]. Just a piece:

I wanna smash the faces of those beautiful boys
Those Christian boys
So you can made me come
That doesn't make you Jesus
I remember
Yes in my peach party dress
No one dared
No one cared
To tell me where the pretty girls are
Those demigods
With their nine-inch nails
And little fascist panties
Tucked inside the heart
Of ever nice girl
These precious things
Let them bleed

[sgt.null]

Mad Mad World - Gary Jules

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very, very
Mad world, mad world, mad world, mad world

[peter]

This world is not a joke
You must take it seriously
Seriously enough to find yourself against a wall
With your wrists bound, maybe.

[The above can be found in an anthology of War published by Faber and Faber entitled In a Time of Dark. It was written by a holocaust surviver [IIRC] who's name does not appear [nor the poem itself] when you Google it. The book is ....words fail me.]

And then there's 'Bog Face' by Stevie Smith

Dear little Bog-Face,
Why are you so cold?
And why do you lie with your eyes shut?
You are not very old.

I am a Child of this World,
I am a Child of Grace,
And Mother, I shall be glad when it is over,
I am Bog-Face.

[Sorus]

Oh, god I LOVE her. And "Precious Things" is one motherfucker of a dark song [and one of my faves].

Yes, and Little Earthquakes:


Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

[Vraith]

Oh, god I LOVE her. And "Precious Things" is one motherfucker of a dark song [and one of my faves].

Yes, and Little Earthquakes:


Doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

Yes, of course. But I suspected it was too familiar.
it's on a list I have of songs that I want to remake/record
in a way that's part San Jacinto [gabriel], part When the Levee Breaks [Zep],
part Leave It [yes], part Cemetery Gates [pantera].

speaking of which, though the words can imply a happy ending, the music with it gives no such relief:


Sometimes when I'm alone
I wonder aloud
If you're watching over me
Some place far abound
I must reverse my life
I can't live in the past
Then set my soul free
Belong to me at last

Through all those
Complex years
I thought I was alone
I didn't care to look around
And make this world my own
And when she died
I should've cried and spared myself some pain...
You left me incomplete
All alone as the memories still remain

[Sorus]

My taste in music is eclectic enough that I never know what might be too familiar to someone.

[Cambo]

Lately I've gotten big into Alice in Chains again, after flirting with them briefly in my teens then putting them back down. The live performance of Down in a Hole, for their MTV Unplugged concert, gets me every time. It's especially poignant listening to these lyrics knowing at the time Layne Staley was off the wagon for the last time, one foot in the grave already...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-uN22sI4JM

Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding red flowers in a tomb (in bloom)

Down in a hole and I don't know if I can saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
Oh, you don't understand who they thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now, a man who won't let himself be

Down in a hole
Losing my soul
Down in a hole
Losing control
I'd like to fly
But my wings have been so denied

Down in a hole, all the stones have been put in their place
I've eaten the sun till my tongue has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more of my feelings beneath

Down in a hole
Losing my soul
Down in a hole
Losing control
I'd like to fly
But my wings have been so denied

Bury me softly in this womb
(Oh I want to be inside of you)
I give this part of me for you
(Oh I want to be inside of you)
Sand rains down and here I sit
(Oh I want to be inside of you)
Holding red flowers in a tomb (in bloom)
Oh I want to be inside...

Down in a hole
Losing my soul
Down in a hole
Feeling so small
I'd like to fly
But my wings have been so denied

[Vraith]

Lately I've gotten big into Alice in Chains again,

Love/hate with them. [except when I'm love/LOVE...moods] They're distinctive, and should be paid attention to. I have everything they've done...but only listen to the self-made consolidation. Because often the ONLY thing that makes a song good is the style. [Like "angry chair"] Not enough.
I don't really like "Down in a Hole" as a song [though the lyrics are decent] and several bore me. But "No Excuses"...simple but love. "Rooster" and "Sea of Sorrows" and "Them Bones," love.
And I don't think the new singer is at the same level...but didn't do what Sammy did to Van Halen [ruin]. "Check My Brain" works for this thread---ironic dark...


I walk these streets, I creep and I fall, oh yeah
When she sang I answered the call, oh yeah

California, I'm fine/Somebody check my brain
California's all right/Somebody check my brain

Aaaaah tears that filled my bong/Aaaaah years expended gone

I hung my guns and put em away, oh yeah
The trick of the trade, and by the way, oh yeah

California, I'm fine/Somebody check my brain
California's all right/Somebody check my brain

Aaaah tears that filled my bong/Aaaah years expended gone