Kevin's Watch

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If you have even been through a divorce, I think you know why this probably never occurs. It's a long, draining process with a lot of pain all over the place, and to celebrate it would take certain level of people, or at least a mutual feeling on both sides. You honestly just want it the hell over with and for the hurt to end.
Come to think of it, my first wife and I did have a little personal ceremony upon our divorce, though. We buried the bride and groom from our wedding cake in a field, and it was treated like a funeral. And it was just us. I can't imagine having anybody else there to assist in making it feel worse. It was actually a nice moment, and the last nice moment we had together.

Cagliostro wrote:If you have even been through a divorce, I think you know why this probably never occurs. It's a long, draining process with a lot of pain all over the place, and to celebrate it would take certain level of people, or at least a mutual feeling on both sides. You honestly just want it the hell over with and for the hurt to end.
Come to think of it, my first wife and I did have a little personal ceremony upon our divorce, though. We buried the bride and groom from our wedding cake in a field, and it was treated like a funeral. And it was just us. I can't imagine having anybody else there to assist in making it feel worse. It was actually a nice moment, and the last nice moment we had together.

I have been through a divorce. It was indeed quick though there were lasting emotional effects for a long time after. On the other hand it was more than 2 decades ago so I've had plenty of time to feel like I can laugh about it now. I realize it would be extremely unlikely that any two people going through a divorce would actually agree to participate in the scenario I described.

aTOMiC wrote: I have been through a divorce. It was indeed quick though there were lasting emotional effects for a long time after. On the other hand it was more than 2 decades ago so I've had plenty of time to feel like I can laugh about it now.

Wow, mine was about 2 decades ago as well. Wait.....Cindy?

Mine sucked pretty hard and is still one of the few things I can't quite laugh over yet. As far as divorces go, it was an especially easy one from what I have witnessed. Both of us had our own cars, most nothing we co-owned, and had no kids. We did have a ferret, and it made me extra sad saying goodbye to the fuzzy snake.

Cagliostro wrote: Wow, mine was about 2 decades ago as well. Wait.....Cindy?

HAH!

I don't know. Its probably that I've spent all of the intervening time happily married with a kid and so on that that previous relationship feels like it happened to someone else, I can't identify with it emotionally any longer. I have more emotional pain from watching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers play football like crap. Or maybe that hurts more because its FRESH!

But I digress...

See, that's what happens when you get married. The GF and I are coming up on 18 years. No marriage, no kids. That's how you keep a relationship happy.

--A

Really, TOM? It's bad enough seeing the guy for the ten minutes it takes for the judge to declare the marriage dissolved. You want to add a party, too?

My divorce wasn't terribly messy until the ex tried to kill himself. (True story.) So yeah -- no party.

Way to go Tom. This thread should be retitled (or subtitled) "How bad was your divorce?" Way to pick at old scabs.

Cagliostro wrote:Way to go Tom. This thread should be retitled (or subtitled) "How bad was your divorce?" Way to pick at old scabs.

Yeah I'm beginning to see that.

What I thought was an amusing notion that reminded me of a bad, over the top, Rom Com premise doesn't seem so funny on second thought. Maybe Hollywood likes to pick at scabs but I generally don't.

I could definitely see this as one of those movies. Of course, since I don't have a divorce under my belt, my perspective is probably a bit skewed.

--A

Nor have I gone through a divorce...but I clearly understood both the humor and the pathos of Tom's original post. Let's just say I've been agile in avoiding those adverse outcomes; sometimes by tightrope-walking, often by contortionism, and occasionally by sheer grace.

Savor Dam wrote:Nor have I gone through a divorce...but I clearly understood both the humor and the pathos of Tom's original post. Let's just say I've been agile in avoiding those adverse outcomes; sometimes by tightrope-walking, often by contortionism, and occasionally by sheer grace.

Satire is somewhat about showing just how ridiculous we humans are, I think.
And it's often about the question, "what if we wore on the outside all those sentiments we keep buried deep in our hearts?"
So, CATHARSIS.
I think this is kind of genius, Tom.

cags wrote:We buried the bride and groom from our wedding cake in a field, and it was treated like a funeral. And it was just us. I can't imagine having anybody else there to assist in making it feel worse. It was actually a nice moment, and the last nice moment we had together.

poignant if awkward story, cags. thanks for putting it out there. there's something in there that's condign.

ali wrote:My divorce wasn't terribly messy until the ex tried to kill himself. (True story.)

I found it amusing, though I can see why others wouldn't. Yesterday was the mediation for the divorce my wife filed in May. There were probably times over the last several months when it may not have been so funny. Stress will do that to you.

Sorry, I didn't mean to say it wasn't funny. It definitely was. But I think I tried imagining how that would go in reality, and ended up sucking the funny out of the thread. My apologies Tom.

Sorry to hear about your marriage dissolving, Doc. Hope the mediation went relatively smoothly/amicably.

Linna: Thanks for the hug. It's not a thing I dwell on, fortunately. It's been 20 years, for one thing, and all sorts of other crazy-making stuff has happened since then.

Sorry about your recent split, Doc. Hope things even out for you.

Thank you for your kindness. Last night was the first time I slept in peace without angst. It was calm and uneventful. Everyone left OK, and no emotional nonsense. Life happens...then goes on. I'll be fine.

Ah, life.

--A

My sister who is generally not noted for being wise said something wise when it came to divorce: "It takes about a year to truly feel like yourself again." Since I've been an adult and have been through a divorce and a breakup that felt like a divorce, a year seemed about right before I pulled myself out it. I hope your results are less than that.