PSA
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:31 pm
Hi y'all. I don't venture out from the Tank very often, unless it's to write about a band, a TV show, or a movie. But something happened last week that I'd like to share, and hopefully motivate some people.
For the unaware, I'm a mortician. I make my living meeting with grieving families, planning funerals, and directing funerals. Literally, I spend my working hours giving everything I have for people who are at the lowest point of their lives. I've seen and heard things that people outside of the industry wouldn't understand.
So to be clear, I spend 50 hours a week surrounded by death and grief. I know beyond a shadow that we're all going to die, and there's nothing we can do about it, and we don't know when it's going to happen.
As such, I take care of myself. I eat right, I don't smoke, I'm in the gym 6 days a week. I'm carrying a few extra pounds, but I'm working on that. I probably drink a bit too much, but not excessively. My BP is consistently within 5 points of 125/80. I have the blood chemistry of someone half my age.
So imagine my surprise when I woke up a week ago Saturday and it felt like someone was standing on my chest. Inhaling more than shallowly was agonizing. But I'm me, so I suffered through the day until about 8, when I looked at my daughter and said, "we need to go to the emergency room right now".
Let me tell you, when you walk into an emergency room and say, "chest pain", you immediately become the center of attention. As they were strapping sensors to me to see what was going on, a nurse was doing the intake questions, one of which was, "do you have a medical directive, DNR, living will, etc?"
Long story short, after a raft of tests and an overnight stay, it was determined that the pain was not cardiac (my heart and cardiovascular system are apparently strong like bull), rather the result of a really nasty sinus infection which caused postnasal drip, which ran down my throat, irritated my acid reflux, and somehow got into my lungs, causing the infection and irritation there.
I'm not telling this story so I can see posts like, "so glad you're okay" or something like that. That'd just be narcissistic. Nope, I'm telling it because I've been here for nearly 15 years, and all y'all have been part of my life for that time. Some as online friends, some as political allies or foes, some as a fellow fan of this band, that movie, or the other TV show. Some of examples of how not to live. Regardless, the impact is there, and to one extent or another, y'all are important to me.
So the point of this is this....
Get your affairs in order.
I can't tell you how many times I've sat across from a family who's just lost a child, or a spouse in her 40s, or hell, even an adult parent, that has no clue what to do because there was no planning done for the inevitable. And/or, there was never a conversation about what the person wanted.
This isn't a sales pitch because I don't stand to gain anything from it.
Get a will. The lawyer that helps you with that can also draw up a medical directive/living will/DNR. If you're not married, get yourself a designation drawn up so that the person you specify has the ability to make your arrangements. Remember that power of attorney ends at death, and that the executor of your will has zero authority over your disposition (right to bury or cremate). Consider pre-planning and pre-paying for your funeral and cemetery property (if you want to be buried).
Don't wait on this. I'm only 50, and a week ago I was convinced that I wasn't going to live out the day. Don't leave your family in the lurch when you inevitably die. Plan ahead. Have "the talk" about what you want when you die.
And for f*ck's sake, don't leave things unsaid to your friends and families.
For the unaware, I'm a mortician. I make my living meeting with grieving families, planning funerals, and directing funerals. Literally, I spend my working hours giving everything I have for people who are at the lowest point of their lives. I've seen and heard things that people outside of the industry wouldn't understand.
So to be clear, I spend 50 hours a week surrounded by death and grief. I know beyond a shadow that we're all going to die, and there's nothing we can do about it, and we don't know when it's going to happen.
As such, I take care of myself. I eat right, I don't smoke, I'm in the gym 6 days a week. I'm carrying a few extra pounds, but I'm working on that. I probably drink a bit too much, but not excessively. My BP is consistently within 5 points of 125/80. I have the blood chemistry of someone half my age.
So imagine my surprise when I woke up a week ago Saturday and it felt like someone was standing on my chest. Inhaling more than shallowly was agonizing. But I'm me, so I suffered through the day until about 8, when I looked at my daughter and said, "we need to go to the emergency room right now".
Let me tell you, when you walk into an emergency room and say, "chest pain", you immediately become the center of attention. As they were strapping sensors to me to see what was going on, a nurse was doing the intake questions, one of which was, "do you have a medical directive, DNR, living will, etc?"
Long story short, after a raft of tests and an overnight stay, it was determined that the pain was not cardiac (my heart and cardiovascular system are apparently strong like bull), rather the result of a really nasty sinus infection which caused postnasal drip, which ran down my throat, irritated my acid reflux, and somehow got into my lungs, causing the infection and irritation there.
I'm not telling this story so I can see posts like, "so glad you're okay" or something like that. That'd just be narcissistic. Nope, I'm telling it because I've been here for nearly 15 years, and all y'all have been part of my life for that time. Some as online friends, some as political allies or foes, some as a fellow fan of this band, that movie, or the other TV show. Some of examples of how not to live. Regardless, the impact is there, and to one extent or another, y'all are important to me.
So the point of this is this....
Get your affairs in order.
I can't tell you how many times I've sat across from a family who's just lost a child, or a spouse in her 40s, or hell, even an adult parent, that has no clue what to do because there was no planning done for the inevitable. And/or, there was never a conversation about what the person wanted.
This isn't a sales pitch because I don't stand to gain anything from it.
Get a will. The lawyer that helps you with that can also draw up a medical directive/living will/DNR. If you're not married, get yourself a designation drawn up so that the person you specify has the ability to make your arrangements. Remember that power of attorney ends at death, and that the executor of your will has zero authority over your disposition (right to bury or cremate). Consider pre-planning and pre-paying for your funeral and cemetery property (if you want to be buried).
Don't wait on this. I'm only 50, and a week ago I was convinced that I wasn't going to live out the day. Don't leave your family in the lurch when you inevitably die. Plan ahead. Have "the talk" about what you want when you die.
And for f*ck's sake, don't leave things unsaid to your friends and families.
Also not sure that is narcissistic any how. 
heart.