Embarrassing things children do to their parents

[dlbpharmd]

The other day my wife and I, along with our 2 year old daughter, were having lunch in a crowded restaurant in Knoxville. After the meal I excused myself to go the restroom. When I came back, my wife was practically rolling in the floor laughing, as were several complete strangers sitting near us. It seems that my 2 year began to tell everyone "Daddy's going to pee-pee! Mommy! Daddy's going to pee-pee!"

Okay - let's hear your stories!

[The Leper Fairy]

When I was 8 or so, everytime I got done with a swim race I would run out of the pool so I could promptly sit on my dad's lap to make it look like he wet himself. It was the best thing about swimming for me at the time. Heh.

[Fist and Faith]

Not so embarrassing for us, but... Our daughter, Lisa, was 4 at the time. We were at an IHOP (a restaurant that specializes in breakfasts), and she asked if our waitress, who looked maybe 17, was a girl. Obviously, we answered Yes. When the waitress came back to our table, Lisa informed her, "You have boobies."

[birdandbear]

Well....

"Hey, mom, look at that lady! She has a really big face!"

"Hey brown boy! Wanna go swimming with me?"

And the real prize winner, spoken with pride and a yucky finger, in front of friends at home:

"Hey! Look what I found in my butt!"

[[Syl]]

Both of these from when I was about five...

My grandmother owned a restaurant, The Mill House. One day I go in with my mom before it opened for dinner. The bar tender asked me if I wanted a coke. My answer - "Sure, do me up a line."

Another time I'm over at one of my mom's friend's house. All the kids, myself included, are on the back porch sitting at a table. I guess I was rolling everybody joints with lawn grass and napkins... no, no. That's not the story... So we're all sitting around talking about what we want to be when we grow up. So and so says they want to be an astronaut, a doctor, whatever. My turn comes up, and I say, "When my mom grows up..." the rest of the answer not being heard over the laughter of all the adults listening to us.

Oh, I could go on...

[aTOMiC]

Any parent that is familiar with Night Terrors knows what a traumatic experience it is for the parent. The child goes on their merry life with no memory of the incident. My daughter went through a bout of NT when she was around 6. We live in an apartment and I was convinced the next time she let out these blood-curdling screams at 2 am, the police would be breaking down our door. Our doctor gave us the cure. We had to let her fall asleep and then wake her up after an hour or so to break the cycle. My wife and I were frightened, embarrassed and fully traumatized. I can't tell you how glad I am that only lasted a week or so.

[Moksha Foul]

Well, seeing as I've possessed quite a few people, some being kids (they have a weaker resistance factor), I've got stories too.
First thing you need to know about Ravers and Ravelings is that we've found new power, namely time travel.
Once, I possessed the kid of an Earl or Duke or something dumb like that, and it didn't end well. I'd brought a whoopie cushion and I "accidentally" left it in my "mother's" chair. Needless to say, at dinner that night, in front of the whole family, she sat on it.
I destroyed the evidence, and skipped town.

Note: Spent 38 years doing that. Was during one of FoulBoy's downtimes.

Then I advanced to face paint. Can't you just see one of them Victorian ladies going out with a painted green goate?

Note: Used green paint most of time, then used purple.

Now, I'd read Children of the Corn, and I got to thinking. Of course, Turiya helped, and we made a society called Children of the Pie. We were the original "annoying little brother". Heh. Don't touch your socks, you might find a plague in one.

Note: Traveled back to Black Plague time. Dated Plague Maiden. Dumped her when farmer killed her.

Gah, must stop now. Else I shall turn into annoying little brother, again.