Coffee and Cigarettes. Horrible, horrible movie. It's surprising, considering Jarmusch's other films, like Dead Man. This is what happens when someone has too many friends and just enough resources to put out a concept movie.
And not nearly as bad, but I'd say don't bother watching Greed. It got a couple laughs out of me (mainly towards the end), but it's not Stiller or Black's greatest work (much less the hilarious Christopher Walken).
Anti-recommendations
Moderators: dANdeLION, sgt.null
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CovenantJr
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Stay far, far away from Flesh and Bone.
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." - PJ O'Rourke
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"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
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"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
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"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
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"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
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Cail's warning comes too late for me. I saw Flesh and Bone when it came out. A ho-hum, very average movie.
Saw Boxing Helena as well. I'm aware of danlo's profound dislike of this movie.
It's a strange one, for sure. I didn't judge it too harshly, maybe because I liked Sherilynn Fenn. 
Citizen Kane is quite a sacred cow of Hollywood. I've never watched it, though. But I did like The Third Man, another Orson Welles picture.
Saw Boxing Helena as well. I'm aware of danlo's profound dislike of this movie.
It's a strange one, for sure. I didn't judge it too harshly, maybe because I liked Sherilynn Fenn. Bravely said, CJ.Covenant Jr wrote:Citizen Kane. The most tedious film I've ever seen.
Citizen Kane is quite a sacred cow of Hollywood. I've never watched it, though. But I did like The Third Man, another Orson Welles picture.-
Worm of Despite
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I've said it 23 times before, and I'll say it again:
Worst
Movie
Ever.
Manos: The Hands of Fate
Honestly, Manos makes all the movies you guys mentioned look like the Godfather. Or whatever film you love. If there is a hell, the deepest level contains a viewing room where for watching Manos until the end of time.
The only reasonable way to view this film is by watching it as it appeared on Mystery Science Theater 3000. DO NOT watch the film by itself (unless you are a masochist). I’m not kidding. Not only will viewing this film cause you to suffer mental damage, but it WILL cause you irreparable physical and spiritual harm.
Worst
Movie
Ever.
Manos: The Hands of Fate
Honestly, Manos makes all the movies you guys mentioned look like the Godfather. Or whatever film you love. If there is a hell, the deepest level contains a viewing room where for watching Manos until the end of time.
The only reasonable way to view this film is by watching it as it appeared on Mystery Science Theater 3000. DO NOT watch the film by itself (unless you are a masochist). I’m not kidding. Not only will viewing this film cause you to suffer mental damage, but it WILL cause you irreparable physical and spiritual harm.
Actually, Manos goes so far into the realm of the horrible that it comes out the other side and becomes Hilariously Brilliant. Though people with less MST3K-like minds should watch the MST3K version of it. The movie practically makes fun of itself, but smartass robots certainly help.
Another terrible, terrible movie: The Hulk. The new version. The movie tries to take itself so seriously it forgets that it's a movie about a giant green monster, and the serious portions of it come off as tedious. And then the Hulk fights giant Hulkified poodles. And then he goes back to contemplating the duality of his own identity and the Human Experience. Then he turns big and green and smashes some tanks. Ludicrous.
Another terrible, terrible movie: The Hulk. The new version. The movie tries to take itself so seriously it forgets that it's a movie about a giant green monster, and the serious portions of it come off as tedious. And then the Hulk fights giant Hulkified poodles. And then he goes back to contemplating the duality of his own identity and the Human Experience. Then he turns big and green and smashes some tanks. Ludicrous.
Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost, anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost.
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Loredoctor
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It's actually listed as the #1 movie of all time by the American Film Institute.Bravely said, CJ. Citizen Kane is quite a sacred cow of Hollywood. I've never watched it, though. But I did like The Third Man, another Orson Welles picture.
I suppose that's because it was groundbreaking for it's time. But if that's true, then why isn't Star Wars ranked higher?
I've watched Citizen Kane twice, and while IMHO it's OK, it's certainly not the greatest movie ever made.
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Loredoctor
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I heartily concur!Loremaster wrote:Any film of Clive Barker's books.
Check out my digital art at www.brian.co.za
Disagree. Clive Barker's original "Hellraiser" is a cult classic and certainly nowhere near the bottom of the barrel in terms of horror movies.
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. John Stuart Mill
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Fist and Faith
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In Formula 51, Sam Jackson is a chemist who makes illegal drugs. It's literally not possible to make a worse movie. A film of a blank chalkboard would be more intelligent. A film of Taiga droning on and on about the One Forest would be more exciting. There aren't words...
All lies and jest
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest -Paul Simon
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest -Paul Simon
Random Hearts. Two hours of intensity and betrayal with Harrison Ford in which nothing...really...happens. Random Plot would have been more like it. Surprise twist at the end: The unfaithful couple had a flat. 
Secondly, and strangely also with Kristen Scott-Thomas, Bitter Moon. Supposed to be deeply erotic, in fact deeply tedious. So called because after having spent money on renting it you'll feel bitter for a month solid.
Secondly, and strangely also with Kristen Scott-Thomas, Bitter Moon. Supposed to be deeply erotic, in fact deeply tedious. So called because after having spent money on renting it you'll feel bitter for a month solid.
...but in the morning, I will be sober
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The Leper Fairy
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danlo
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I you want a bad Harrison Ford movie try Hanover Street the first 1/3 isn't bad but when they show the bunch of Churchill wannabees smoking cigars and argueing in a dark smoky room for what seemed to last 1/2 an hour--it's nappy time.
Actually any and all Dean Knootz movie effort suck worse than any of Barker's...
Actually any and all Dean Knootz movie effort suck worse than any of Barker's...
fall far and well Pilots!
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duchess of malfi
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duchess of malfi
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- Posts: 11104
- Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2002 9:20 pm
- Location: Michigan, USA
