Kevin's Watch

Coffee and Cigarettes. Horrible, horrible movie. It's surprising, considering Jarmusch's other films, like Dead Man. This is what happens when someone has too many friends and just enough resources to put out a concept movie.

And not nearly as bad, but I'd say don't bother watching Greed. It got a couple laughs out of me (mainly towards the end), but it's not Stiller or Black's greatest work (much less the hilarious Christopher Walken).

Citizen Kane. The most tedious film I've ever seen.

Lost In Translation. The second most tedious film I've ever seen.

Stay far, far away from Flesh and Bone.

I liked the scene in Coffee and Cigarettes with Iggy Pop and Tom Waits...that was about it. Never watch Marco Polo or Boxing Helena.

Cail's warning comes too late for me. I saw Flesh and Bone when it came out. A ho-hum, very average movie.

Saw Boxing Helena as well. I'm aware of danlo's profound dislike of this movie. It's a strange one, for sure. I didn't judge it too harshly, maybe because I liked Sherilynn Fenn.

Covenant Jr wrote:Citizen Kane. The most tedious film I've ever seen.

Bravely said, CJ. Citizen Kane is quite a sacred cow of Hollywood. I've never watched it, though. But I did like The Third Man, another Orson Welles picture.

I've said it 23 times before, and I'll say it again:

Worst
Movie
Ever.

Manos: The Hands of Fate

Honestly, Manos makes all the movies you guys mentioned look like the Godfather. Or whatever film you love. If there is a hell, the deepest level contains a viewing room where for watching Manos until the end of time.

The only reasonable way to view this film is by watching it as it appeared on Mystery Science Theater 3000. DO NOT watch the film by itself (unless you are a masochist). I’m not kidding. Not only will viewing this film cause you to suffer mental damage, but it WILL cause you irreparable physical and spiritual harm.

Actually, Manos goes so far into the realm of the horrible that it comes out the other side and becomes Hilariously Brilliant. Though people with less MST3K-like minds should watch the MST3K version of it. The movie practically makes fun of itself, but smartass robots certainly help.

Another terrible, terrible movie: The Hulk. The new version. The movie tries to take itself so seriously it forgets that it's a movie about a giant green monster, and the serious portions of it come off as tedious. And then the Hulk fights giant Hulkified poodles. And then he goes back to contemplating the duality of his own identity and the Human Experience. Then he turns big and green and smashes some tanks. Ludicrous.

Any film of Clive Barker's books.

Bravely said, CJ. Citizen Kane is quite a sacred cow of Hollywood. I've never watched it, though. But I did like The Third Man, another Orson Welles picture.

It's actually listed as the #1 movie of all time by the American Film Institute.

I suppose that's because it was groundbreaking for it's time. But if that's true, then why isn't Star Wars ranked higher?

I've watched Citizen Kane twice, and while IMHO it's OK, it's certainly not the greatest movie ever made.

It is great because, as you said, it is groundbreaking. It is 'only' good in the context of it's time. Well, it has its other merits.

Loremaster wrote:Any film of Clive Barker's books.

I heartily concur!

Disagree. Clive Barker's original "Hellraiser" is a cult classic and certainly nowhere near the bottom of the barrel in terms of horror movies.

In Formula 51, Sam Jackson is a chemist who makes illegal drugs. It's literally not possible to make a worse movie. A film of a blank chalkboard would be more intelligent. A film of Taiga droning on and on about the One Forest would be more exciting. There aren't words...

Random Hearts. Two hours of intensity and betrayal with Harrison Ford in which nothing...really...happens. Random Plot would have been more like it. Surprise twist at the end: The unfaithful couple had a flat.

Secondly, and strangely also with Kristen Scott-Thomas, Bitter Moon. Supposed to be deeply erotic, in fact deeply tedious. So called because after having spent money on renting it you'll feel bitter for a month solid.

One Hour Photo

Stuck on you.

I you want a bad Harrison Ford movie try Hanover Street the first 1/3 isn't bad but when they show the bunch of Churchill wannabees smoking cigars and argueing in a dark smoky room for what seemed to last 1/2 an hour--it's nappy time.

Actually any and all Dean Knootz movie effort suck worse than any of Barker's...

Probably my least favorite Harrison Ford movie would be The Mosquito Coast. Well made and acted movie, but a complete and total downer.
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boo hiss! I really like that movie!!!

I was depressed for days after seeing it...but it was very well made, as I said in my post.

I've tried to watch Citizen Kane a couple of times, but for whatever reason, I just can't make it through that movie.

And after having been warned by Foul, I hope I never see Manos.