How do you feel today? v. 3.0

[Sorus]

I thought I was getting sick last week, but I seem to have dodged that bullet. Knock on wood. Whatever was going around at work seems to have run its course.

Currently kicking myself because I requested Labor Day off, and it was approved, but I didn't specifically ask for the preceding Saturday and Sunday as well, which means that I won't know until that Friday whether or not I have an actual three-day weekend. With my luck I'll be asked to work Saturday and I know that, and I don't know why I didn't ask for it. Stupid.

I could say that I have plans, which would have a 50/50 chance of getting a reply other than 'sucks to be you'. I could actually have plans, since I have been invited to go camping. This is something I really want to do, but I don't know if I have the weekend off, and I don't have camping equipment. The person who invited me knows I don't have camping equipment and indicated it wasn't an issue, so that means sharing a tent with someone who at least nominally counts as an ex and just went through a bad breakup. I don't think there's any ulterior motive there, but I'm terrible at reading those things (which is part of why they're an ex) and I'm basically just talking to myself at this point trying to see all the pieces of the picture.

[Savor Dam]

A tent can be a small space for two people with mismatched expectations, especially when there are limited options for going their separate ways before the planned end-of-camping.

You know yourself and this person best and can judge how you want to approach "conformance of purpose."

[Sorus]

I guess I'm looking for a way out of it. But then, I always look for ways out of social whatnot and then regret not going, and apparently never learn.

I could just buy a cheap tent on Amazon or someplace, but then I should probably buy other stuff that I have no room to store, which would sit around gathering dust in an accusatory manner, especially if it doesn't get used at all due to me having to work.

[Savor Dam]

Surely there are outfitters who rent gear for weekend or weekly rates? Not the most frugal approach, but far less outlay than buying and storing gear you don't use that much.

Of course, all this would only exacerbate the expectation mismatch if you show up with such gear and the other thought you were sharing.

Communication can help here. Are you on good enough terms to be able to have a frank talk with your camping partner / sort-of ex and make sure you are both on the same page about where you two are now, in light of your shared history, the other person's recent messy parting, and what your individual in-tents may be?

If not, that may reflect on whether you ought to cancel...but if you can do that, I hope you go and have a great time.

Camping can be so restorative...

[Sorus]

Hadn't considered renting, yet it does appear to be a thing, and a viable thing at that. Showing up with my own stuff wouldn't be a dealbreaker, and I don't believe there was any sort of quid pro quo implicit in the offer of sharing. That's not a door either of us needs to open. (Then again, notoriously obtuse. Probably better to get the foot-in-mouth out of the way early and just ask.)

Communication with my boss, on the other hand... It would be nice if I could just ask whether or not I will have the time off, but that's not an option - at least, not a recommended option if I desire a favorable answer.

[Savor Dam]

Yes, getting the awkwardness out of the way before neither of you has a viable way out is a really good idea. This person knows you well enough to be aware of your interpersonal blindspots, nu? As you know theirs? Can you both be frank-yet-fond with each other?

While you are at it, make sure to express how much you are looking forward to the camping-qua-camping, but that work is a possible deal-killer. That then sets the framework for making sure both of you are comfortable with the intimacy/privacy balance for the way you will be camping. There are no-fault exits for each to gracefully bow out...and ample clear space to go forward in ways that stay within the boundaries each of you choose to maintain.

[Avatar]

Camping...meh.

Well...what a hell of a 24 hours. As previously suggested, I'm sick. Ducked home early yesterday, and got some needed sleep, deciding not to go in to work today.

Then at about 00h30, (this morning) my little ginger stray staggered in, seriously beat up and dragging his front leg.

By 01h00 we were at the emergency vet, whose initial diagnosis was possible damage to his radial nerve, from being caught under something and dragged. (His face was all scraped and battered.) Worst case scenario, eventual amputation of the leg. Booked him in and left him there for thorough examination this morning.

Home by 02h00, and asleep by 03h00 (extremely worried), only to be woken at 05h00 by my semi-feral queen demanding food. (Hadn't seen her in probably 36 hours or more.)

Fell back into bed to be awoken at 06h00 by my alarm, so I could notify the relevant people I wouldn't be at work (because I'm sick, right).

Awoken again at 09h00 with good news from the vet: only a dislocation and they should be able to re-align under a mild sedative, needed permission to go ahead. (As though.)

Still felt lousy (unsurprisingly) and went back to bed. Woken at about 12h30 by the vet, joint correction went fine, they want to keep him another night though, so will collect him tomorrow. Relief all round. Exhausting though.

--A

[Sorus]

Oh no, Av. Poor baby. Glad he'll be okay.

Yes, getting the awkwardness out of the way before neither of you has a viable way out is a really good idea. This person knows you well enough to be aware of your interpersonal blindspots, nu? As you know theirs? Can you both be frank-yet-fond with each other?

Oh yeah, no worries on that score. I mean, it's been years, but if anything it's given perspective on stuff. Perspective is good.

I think I'm mainly annoyed about work at this point. Either I or my minion will have to work that Saturday. My minion has had two weeks of vacation in the last month, and an extended weekend just last week - which my back still hurts from doing his work on top of mine, thank you very much - two weeks from now the workload will be much less and I really won't feel any guilt over making him do one day solo. Yet if I ask if I can have it off, it will be taken that I am volunteering.

Again, my fault for not just asking for it in the first place.

[Avatar]

Oh no, Av. Poor baby. Glad he'll be okay.

Thanks. Us too.

--A

[Linna Heartbooger]

I think I'm mainly annoyed about work at this point. Either I or my minion will have to work that Saturday. My minion has had two weeks of vacation in the last month, and an extended weekend just last week - which my back still hurts from doing his work on top of mine, thank you very much - two weeks from now the workload will be much less and I really won't feel any guilt over making him do one day solo. Yet if I ask if I can have it off, it will be taken that I am volunteering.

Again, my fault for not just asking for it in the first place.

[Sorus]

So I got called into the office today and I was sure it was going to be about working that Saturday, but no, that would be Planning Ahead, and we don't do that. Never mind the law that says I should have that schedule already; wouldn't want them to miss that stamp on the HR Violation Bingo Card.

Time to be honest about what's really bothering me, which actually didn't fully click until today. This week marks my seventh anniversary in this job. Seven years. Seven years doing something that was supposed to be a temporary fix after being laid off from my real job. I have now been doing this for nearly as long as I was in my real job. I have been throwing resumes down the rabbit hole, and it's time to conclude that isn't working and I need to find a better way of going about it and don't even know where to start.

So I'm having an existential crisis, and don't want to look like a failure in front of someone who has been at least somewhat successful.

[Avatar]

Hey, you do what you have to do to keep a roof over your heads and food on the table and whatnot. That's not failure.

In the long run, you could take the view that none of it matters anyway. Maya. The world is illusion.

All that said, whatever changes in strategy you can come up with certainly won't hurt.

(Oh yeah...I still feel sick. )

--A

[Sorus]

Hey, you do what you have to do to keep a roof over your heads and food on the table and whatnot. That's not failure.

In the long run, you could take the view that none of it matters anyway. Maya. The world is illusion.

That's what I've been telling myself, but it's apparently time for yet another reality check of the 'you're 35 now, exactly how long do you intend to keep doing this?' nature.

I'm overqualified for this job. I have experience in the fields I am trying to get hired in. What am I doing wrong?

Once again, I think it all comes down to connections, and that's where I fail.

Right about now I'm okay with the reality check bouncing.

There are times when I'm convinced that my workplace is actually the site of some perverse psychological experiment. Somewhere, there's a two-way mirror and a panel of baffled scientists saying "Wait, that still hasn't made her drop everything and run out the door screaming? Okay.... Let's take it to the next level."

Hope you feel better soon.

[Linna Heartbooger]

Time to be honest about what's really bothering me, which actually didn't fully click until today. This week marks my seventh anniversary in this job. Seven years. Seven years doing something that was supposed to be a temporary fix after being laid off from my real job. I have now been doing this for nearly as long as I was in my real job. I have been throwing resumes down the rabbit hole, and it's time to conclude that isn't working and I need to find a better way of going about it and don't even know where to start.

It's okay. This world is crazy complicated.
But by "it's okay," I don't mean it doesn't suck and isn't painful.

I mean that the fact you have a really really hard problem to solve...
Maybe you can tell us 50 different ways you've contributed to the problem, and maybe you're right about all of them...
All that does not mean your precious value as a human is at all lessened.

So I'm having an existential crisis, and don't want to look like a failure in front of someone who has been at least somewhat successful.

Bah.
Success. Treasure. Cash. Status.
It's all transitory as dried petals falling off a flower that's bloomed for more than 2 days.

I'm with Av about putting food on the table!!

But then my worldview is crazier than Av's.
I actually think that often, people's riches will count against them when we stand before our Maker.

Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation and the rich in his humiliation..
...the rich man will fade away in the midst of his pursuits.

(Sorry, just got back from reading that in Bible Study one hour ago.)
That's what Jesus' brother, Jacob, said.

But... being under the pressure of someone else's... success, accolades, social status, willingness to fight mean... whatever..
It feels like they're gonna crush me.
It's horrible.
And I surely will cave to that again and again in my life.
I will fail to speak up before such people because.
I will let myself be intimidated by all these things I just claimed are worthless and "passing away."

Is the person who invited you camping the one "who has been at least somewhat successful"?

What was your job from before?

Are you tired of me asking you questions yet?

[Avatar]

What am I doing wrong?

Dunno...what are you doing?

--A

[sgt.null]

avatar - a picture of the ginger?

yesterday went up for laundry sergeant job at Terrell unit. close to my first unit of ten years. it is a 2nd shift job. (11am - 7pm, five days a week)

I believe the board went well. and I see that same warden today for a food service job at his unit. I will ace that board.

the food service is 2nd shift for now. either way I need off first shift and away from my current unit.

in an odd turn my new kitchen captain is one of my co-workers from my first unit. when I ran the kitchen commissary she was the assistant captain. if I could 2nd shift at my unit I would have no problem working for her. but that ain't in the cards.

[Sorus]

Good luck, Sarge.

Bah.
Success. Treasure. Cash. Status.
It's all transitory as dried petals falling off a flower that's bloomed for more than 2 days.

I'm with Av about putting food on the table!!

But then my worldview is crazier than Av's.
I actually think that often, people's riches will count against them when we stand before our Maker.

I would currently define success as: Being treated like a human being where I work. Not being ashamed to tell people where I work. Having enough financial security that I don't obsessively redo my budget in my head 20 times a day. More or less in that order.

I don't care about stuff or status.

I could go on and on, but complaining isn't going to help.

[Avatar]

I wouldn't hold out much hope for your job suddenly treating you better. That pattern seems well set.

What field are you looking for work in?

[Sarge, will try put one up this weekend.]

--A

[deer of the dawn]

There are several people I want to drop-kick right now. And it takes a lot to get the deer angry. But you won't like me when I'm angry. I play hardball when I have to. And I am ready to kick butt.

[Savor Dam]

Anticipating deer's story...