dANdeLION update

Post by **aTOMiC** » Tue Feb 16, 2021 2:58 pm

Danny Southard (dANdeLION) my best friend on Earth since we were both 6 years old is now living in an assisted living facility specializing in memory therapy related to dementia and Alzheimer's. I am told he is steadily deteriorating, mentally.

I heard the news last week. I haven't spoken to Dan in several months and had only heard through his family that he had finally gotten disability benefits for his condition. Thanks to Covid19 and my having been preoccupied with taking care of my wife (she had fallen awkwardly early last year and after many months of therapy finally decided to have spinal surgery a week before Christmas. I have been caring for her ever since) I have not had any new contact with him. The last time I saw Dan, after a little prodding, seemed very much himself but struggled from time to time with some of his memory recall. However I'm told his condition is much worse.

On one hand I am relieved that Dan is finally in a facility that is able to provide care and assistance for his daily needs. On the other I am deeply saddened that over time the person I have known all of my life will no longer recognize me. Just as my father did in his struggle with Alzheimer's.

This is very difficult for me. Much of the interests in my life were influenced and inspired by Dan. Its hard to take joy in the hobbies and interests we used to share knowing that I alone now carry the memories of our friendship. In time I am sure I will be able to come to terms with the situation. My wife especially has been incredibly supportive.

I guess what I'm saying to you, my online neighbors since 2003, is that dANdeLION, our friend will not be returning to Kevinswatch.

Post by **High Lord Tolkien** » Tue Feb 16, 2021 4:56 pm

I have no words.
I'm sorry for both of you.

Post by **Damelon** » Tue Feb 16, 2021 5:35 pm

I'm sorry to hear that about dAN. It's good that he's getting specialized care though. That's a terrible condition and hard on loved ones. Hang in there, aTOMIC.

Post by **lucimay** » Tue Feb 16, 2021 5:47 pm

thank you so much for the update Tom.

i'm so sad that this has happened to him, please let me know if there is anything i can do for either of you.

(and thanks, Damelon, for the heads up)

i will light the good mojo candle right now for him and keep it burning.
my love to both you and your wife and dAN as well. <3

Post by **StevieG** » Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:53 am

So sorry Tom, that's really distressing news. When someone has something like this that seems irreversible, it is hard to fathom. Thinking of Dan and thinking of you his best friend.

Post by **Avatar** » Wed Feb 17, 2021 9:08 am

Ah hell, sorry to hear it. Surely one of the worst (for friends and family especially), that must be endured. Thanks for the update TOM. We'll be thinking of him.

aTOMiC wrote:Its hard to take joy in the hobbies and interests we used to share knowing that I alone now carry the memories of our friendship.

On the contrary, now you need to enjoy them for both of you.

--A

Post by **sgt.null** » Wed Feb 17, 2021 11:20 am

Tom - i am so sorry to learn if this. Our prayers for out to dan, his family and you and your family.

Post by **aTOMiC** » Wed Feb 17, 2021 12:38 pm

Thank you, everyone.

Since Dan is in a Covid19 sensitive facility I am not permitted to visit him. His family can, after quite a lot of Covid screening. I will tell his brother Dion of your well wishes and he can relay them to Dan.
As for me thanks very much. The news of Dan's diagnosis isn't new, we've known about it for over a year but the realization that he is losing ground so quickly is new for me but I'm coping.

Post by **wayfriend** » Wed Feb 17, 2021 1:57 pm

I feel for you, Tom. I have had this experience. Dementia is just about the hardest way there is to lose someone, I think. (If I didn't think you already know this, I wouldn't say it.) The best thing you can do is bring them small moments of happiness, and know that that's enough. So I wish you the strength you need.

Post by **Fist and Faith** » Thu Feb 18, 2021 3:04 am

I was literally thinking a couple days ago that I hadn't seen dAN around in a long time. Had no idea why. I'm very sorry, for all of you.

Post by **dlbpharmd** » Fri Feb 19, 2021 1:08 pm

Very sorry to hear this news about dAN.

Post by **Cord Hurn** » Mon Feb 22, 2021 7:36 am

Sorry to hear this news about dAN, aTOMiC. He has been a very valuable contributor and showed a great sense of humor. He has been a treasure to the Watch. Thank you for the update. Wishing peace, comfort, and strength to you and to all of his loved ones.

Post by **Avatar** » Wed Mar 03, 2021 9:03 am

Just a note, we have re-named the Comics forum in honour of dAN's many years of participation on the Watch. TOM will be adding an acknowledgement post to it in the near future.

--A

Post by **Cagliostro** » Tue Mar 09, 2021 9:55 pm

I am so sorry to hear this. I always found it awesome when you two would play around with each other on the forum, and just always seemed like a sweet friendship you two had. And damn this Covid crap for making it impossible to see loved ones when you really need to. Wishing you, your family, and his the very best.

Post by **peter** » Tue Mar 16, 2021 6:31 am

Apologies for not posting here before. I have not gotten to know Dan too well over the years, but absolutely feel for him in the awful burden that life has chosen to place on his shoulders.

He has clearly had (and of course still has) a fine friend in you Tom, and has no need to fear; you will do all of the remembering for the both of you while he deals with the important things such as watching the sun rise each day.

Strength in togetherness.

Post by **Avatar** » Thu Mar 18, 2021 7:55 am

peter wrote:...you will do all of the remembering for the both of you while he deals with the important things such as watching the sun rise each day..

Agreed.

--A

Post by **SoulBiter** » Thu Apr 01, 2021 2:55 pm

I have no words to express here..... to have this happen when someone is this young just takes my breath away.

I am just so sorry that anyone would have to go through something like this. My thoughts are with you both as well as your families.

Post by **deer of the dawn** » Sun Apr 04, 2021 10:58 am

So sorry to hear this.

He'll be missed.

Post by **kevinswatch** » Sun Apr 25, 2021 12:37 am

Tom, even though I have not be around the Watch, I'm sorry to hear about this news. dAN has always been a good person here. I wish him and his family and friends the best.

-jay

Post by **Skyweir** » Fri May 07, 2021 6:37 am

Im so sorry Tom to hear that dAN has gotten worse but am glad he is getting the help and support he needs.

Sending love n hugs to both of you and your respective families

dAN the man was always a fave here at the Watch ... my thoughts are with you all as you navigate the challenges COVID presents to visiting with your life long best bud

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