A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one
>house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to
>his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and
>wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
>When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his
>card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis
>3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in
>gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 says "Behold, I stand at the door
>and knock". Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I
>was afraid for I was naked."
Cute religious joke
Moderator: Fist and Faith
Cute religious joke
"Fortunate circumstances do not equate to high ideals."
"Mostly muffins sir."- My answer in response to the question posed by the officer, "Son, do you have anything on you I should know about?"
His response: "Holy $&!^. He's not kidding! Look at all these muffins!"
"Mostly muffins sir."- My answer in response to the question posed by the officer, "Son, do you have anything on you I should know about?"
His response: "Holy $&!^. He's not kidding! Look at all these muffins!"
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Furls Fire
- Lord
- Posts: 4872
- Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2003 10:35 am
- Location: Heaven
That's a goodie!!
And I believe in you
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
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The Leper Fairy
- The Gap Into Spam
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Worm of Despite
- Lord
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- Contact:
Not really a religious joke, but it's set in Eden, so what the hey.
I think I've learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, "Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we'll never age, we'll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them." And Eve said, "Yeah... it's just not enough is it?"
New minister starts at a local church one day, and one of the flock had been out partying all night long, and kept drifting off to sleep during the service.
Preacher asks the congregation, "Who's the father of all fathers"?
The lady sitting behind the partier is miffed by him drifting off to sleep, so she jabs him with her extremely long fingernail.
The Partier jumps up and shouts, "GOD ALMIGHTY"
The Preacher smiles and calls out, "Right"
The partier looks puzzled, and drifts back off to sleep.
The Preacher then asks, "Who's the son of God Almighty"?
The lady with the long fingernails gets irritated again, and jabs the partier again.
The partier jumps up, and shouts, "JESUS CHRIST"
The Preacher smiles again, and says, "Right again, and my, you say that with such feeling"
The partier finally realizes what's going on, and just as he starts to drift off to sleep again, the Preacher calls out, "What did Eve say to Adam after they had their last baby"?
The lady with the fingernails gets ready to jab him again, the partier turns around, looks at the lady and shouts out, "YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL BREAK IT OFF"
Preacher asks the congregation, "Who's the father of all fathers"?
The lady sitting behind the partier is miffed by him drifting off to sleep, so she jabs him with her extremely long fingernail.
The Partier jumps up and shouts, "GOD ALMIGHTY"
The Preacher smiles and calls out, "Right"
The partier looks puzzled, and drifts back off to sleep.
The Preacher then asks, "Who's the son of God Almighty"?
The lady with the long fingernails gets irritated again, and jabs the partier again.
The partier jumps up, and shouts, "JESUS CHRIST"
The Preacher smiles again, and says, "Right again, and my, you say that with such feeling"
The partier finally realizes what's going on, and just as he starts to drift off to sleep again, the Preacher calls out, "What did Eve say to Adam after they had their last baby"?
The lady with the fingernails gets ready to jab him again, the partier turns around, looks at the lady and shouts out, "YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL BREAK IT OFF"
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Loredoctor
- Lord
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- Location: Melbourne, Victoria
- Contact:
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Avatar
- Immanentizing The Eschaton
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- Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
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A man dies, and duly arrives at the pearly gates. St Pete, having nothing better to do at the moment, offers him the standard tour of the heavenly realm.
The fellow descries all manner of people standing around, generally chatting and having a good time.
In due course, they come to a high wall, seperating part of heaven from the rest of it. From behind the wall, the man hears the sound of much merry-making, glasses clinking and general laughter.
"Whats behind the wall?" he asks St Peter.
"Shhh," replies the saint, "Thats the Christians -- They think they're alone up here".
The fellow descries all manner of people standing around, generally chatting and having a good time.
In due course, they come to a high wall, seperating part of heaven from the rest of it. From behind the wall, the man hears the sound of much merry-making, glasses clinking and general laughter.
"Whats behind the wall?" he asks St Peter.
"Shhh," replies the saint, "Thats the Christians -- They think they're alone up here".
