(Humor) 300+ Arguments for God's Existence

[Plissken]

Some of these look really, really familiar...www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

# ARGUMENT FROM ASHCROFT
(1) I say God exists.
(2) I could have you locked up, you know.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

HA!

[Warmark]

ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION
(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, God exists

[Dromond]

Hilarious!

And some are all too accurate.

[CovenantJr]

ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys -- you're obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth." John 3:16.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

Painfully true


Some of those are genius.

[I'm Murrin]

(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Stevie Wonder is blind.
(4) Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

Heh.

[Nathan]

Those were great!

[I'm Murrin]

Interesting website, too - has a page of quotes on atheism and religion, which are interesting to read.

"Religion is for people who have never matured in their understanding of ethics. Religion teaches a child's view of ethics, that 'being good' means 'obeying your parent'. It gives a moral blank check to those bold enough, dishonest enough, to claim to speak for God. Atheism means looking at ethical questions as an adult among other adults, considering ethics as a means of maintaining peace and cooperation among equals, so that all may pursue happiness within the limits that ethics defines."
— John B. Hodges

[Vector]

Interesting website, too - has a page of quotes on atheism and religion, which are interesting to read.

"Religion is for people who have never matured in their understanding of ethics. Religion teaches a child's view of ethics, that 'being good' means 'obeying your parent'. It gives a moral blank check to those bold enough, dishonest enough, to claim to speak for God. Atheism means looking at ethical questions as an adult among other adults, considering ethics as a means of maintaining peace and cooperation among equals, so that all may pursue happiness within the limits that ethics defines."
— John B. Hodges

That is a pretty good quote and is pretty close to my own worldview. I think this is the approach people should take irrespective of their religious point of view. In fact, trying to mix personal religious beliefs into an ethical system has way too many pitfalls and should be avoided at all costs.

[Avatar]

While I agree with you Vector, the plain fact is that many people base what they consider their "ethics" on the fact of their religion.

My stock reply to that is to ask whether murder would still be wrong, if god hadn't said it was. Unfortunately, much of what is in the bible is really unethical, in terms of actions carried out by god, or "on his behalf".

Again though, I suppose it comes down to your interpretation of the bible. It never ceases to amaze me how so many people can claim the same faith, and yet have absolutley no consensus on what it means, what they believe, why they believe it, and what it means they (and everybody else for that atter) can and cannot do.

In the end, I think that religion should be a supremely private matter, between a person and their deity, whatever they conceive it to be.

But people base too many of their actions and opinions on it for that ever to be the case in general.

--Avatar

[Kymbierlee]

That is a pretty good quote and is pretty close to my own worldview. I think this is the approach people should take irrespective of their religious point of view. In fact, trying to mix personal religious beliefs into an ethical system has way too many pitfalls and should be avoided at all costs.

That's what makes Paganism so great.

"Harm None."

There. End of dogma.

[Kymbierlee]

ARGUMENT FROM MANIFESTATIONS
(1) If you turn your head sideways and squint a little, you can see an image of a bearded face in that tortilla.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

Oh, I am dying reading these!

Now, find the Pope in the Pizza.