Yes, I most certainly do feel that significant issues have yet to be addressed. If I'm mistaken, I'll take no offense to my post being deleted or the thread being locked down.If you feel there are signifigant issues that have yet to be addressed, please start a new thread. However, I believe the original conundrum has been resolved, so...
First, let me say, LURCH!, you have blown me away. You seem to be one of the few people here dealing with this issue in an authentic, life-affirming way. (I'm not slighting the others, it's just that Lurch is the most passionate example.)
This issue deals directly with the themes of SDR's books. "Life is feeling." [From The Illearth War.] Life is about letting yourself feel. This is exactly the problem that Covenant is facing: not allowing himself to feel as a protective measure against both death and despair. He's not RISKING letting himself feel real, true human passion because he's scared of the consequences. Disappointment, rejection, hatred, etc. Yes, these are potential hazards of opening yourself up, letting yourself feel, letting yourself be human.
SDR's point was universal, not specific to Covenant. We all face situations in which our natural inclination is to FEEL, to let our passions move us. But life within society is artificial: we are constantly reigning in those passions for reasons largely attributed to fear.
In my early 20's, I was not very outgoing. I proudly called myself an introspective person. I majored in philosophy, and wore my introvert label as a badge of intellectual superiority. But what I was really doing was making excuses for my fear. I wasn't just an introvert by nature and by a "higher purpose" of questing after the "deep" answers in life. I was also an introvert because I was a freakin' wimp at times. There were times when I was intimidated, when I was scared to go up and talk to a woman in a situation where sex was an obvious possibility. It didn't help that I started losing my hair in my 20s, and I felt at times just like SRD's leper: a freak, someone that society had rejected.
But then I grew older, into an age where losing your hair was more normal, realized that I'm a good looking guy (really, I am
), met a woman who thinks bald guys are sexy (Vin Diesel, etc.), and have had an a amazing sex life ever since. I realized that one of the "deep" philosphical answers I was seeking went beyond mere concepts, theories, and jargon. It had to do with living your life, your style of meeting the challenges of life. You can choose to subvert your own passions, and pretend that you are noble and "above" them in doing so, but this is inauthentic. You ARE your passions. You are the white gold. Wanting sex is just as natural as wanting love. It is more than the physical sensations: it is expressing your being in the most fundamental way we are instantiated in this world. We ARE animals, physical beings, shaped by millions of years of evolution into precisely this form, for precisely this Act. Embracing this nature, fulfilling your "role" in this dance of matter, is one of the most life-affirming experiences you can have. It's more than "just be a man," and yet, in a way that's EXACTLY what it is. Facing your fears, meeting life head-on, accepting the possibility of failure, and seeking LIFE is what being a Man is all about. Evolution has given us no function that is more infused with the potential and the actuality of LIFE than physical sexuality. Literally, this is our means of creation. Just because you are not consciously intending children when you have sex doesn't mean that you can shut out the significance nature has "intended" for this Act. No condom or pill can separate you from your essential role in physical reality while you are having sex. If you are doing it "right," i.e., forgetting about fear, embarrassment, insecurity, etc., then you can't help but become aware of your participation in the mystery of Life. I'm not going to say it's "spiritual" because I don't believe in spirits. But it is certainly transcendental. Through the most "profane" act we humans can perform, we are elevated to our most "holy" selves. The direct confrontation with your physical nature, the acceptance of your animal being, enfuses you with a passion like white gold: the power of actuality, the power of being alive.
For those who say sex is no big deal--I hate to use a cliche--but, you aren't doing it right. Forget fear. Be true.
I have to add that I am not a virgin, either; what frustrates me is the lack of companionship, the loneliness and the lack of a sex life.
What is it the French call Orgasm? La Petite Morte-the little death-and it is said that Orgasm and a sneeze is as close as we come to God and/or death without dying.
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