Want to learn about the bible, but just don't have the time?

Free discussion of anything human or divine ~ Philosophy, Religion and Spirituality

Moderator: Fist and Faith

User avatar
Phantasm
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 1720
Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2005 10:52 pm
Location: Cumbernauld, Scotland

Want to learn about the bible, but just don't have the time?

Post by Phantasm »

Then just read the abridged version.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/4266564.stm
Quote - John Smeaton (Terrorists take note)

"This is Glasgow- we'll just set aboot ye"



Image
User avatar
Fist and Faith
Magister Vitae
Posts: 25450
Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2002 8:14 pm
Has thanked: 9 times
Been thanked: 57 times

Post by Fist and Faith »

I assumed the link would lead to a joke of some sort. But it looks like they're serious. Yes?
All lies and jest
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest
-Paul Simon

Image
User avatar
The Laughing Man
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 9033
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2005 4:56 pm
Location: LMAO

Post by The Laughing Man »

Looks very intelligently designed, and cleverly packaged! 8)
User avatar
Dromond
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 2451
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2002 3:17 am
Location: The Sunbirth Sea

Post by Dromond »

Why not save yet more time, and consider those tracts with choice biblical quotes stuffed in your mailbox all you need to read!? :roll:
Image
User avatar
Avatar
Immanentizing The Eschaton
Posts: 62038
Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:17 am
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Has thanked: 25 times
Been thanked: 32 times
Contact:

Post by Avatar »

Oh, totally serious, Fist.

I'm torn...on one hand, more books and more readers are good. But without seeing it for myself, I can't know what the message they're focusing on putting across is.

And I think that the details are important. If we're not careful, we're gonna have a generation who have a "sanitised" version of the bible, and don't know all the contentious stuff, or the stuff that makes people question. And that, I think, is a bad thing.

(For the record, I also worry that Disney's rewrites of mythology and history are gonna become what people who were children then (now) think of..."Hercules? Oh yeah, the guy who rode Pegasus, right?")

--Avatar
User avatar
Fist and Faith
Magister Vitae
Posts: 25450
Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2002 8:14 pm
Has thanked: 9 times
Been thanked: 57 times

Post by Fist and Faith »

Am I the only one who thinks a Reader's Digest Condensed Bible is sorta hilarious?
All lies and jest
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest
-Paul Simon

Image
User avatar
Dromond
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 2451
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2002 3:17 am
Location: The Sunbirth Sea

Post by Dromond »

Avatar wrote:

And I think that the details are important. If we're not careful, we're gonna have a generation who have a "sanitised" version of the bible, and don't know all the contentious stuff, or the stuff that makes people question. And that, I think, is a bad thing.

--Avatar
My point exactly, Avatar. Though you managed to say it without the sarcasm.
Image
User avatar
Prebe
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 7926
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2005 7:19 pm
Location: People's Republic of Denmark

Post by Prebe »

I hope they have taken the most juicy parts of Leviticus, and The Revelation of Saint "Having a bad paranoid acid trip" John.
Fist wrote:Am I the only one who thinks a Reader's Digest Condensed Bible is sorta hilarious?
No.
"I would have gone to the thesaurus for a more erudite word."
-Hashi Lebwohl
User avatar
Alynna Lis Eachann
Lord
Posts: 3060
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 8:23 pm
Location: Maryland, my Maryland

Post by Alynna Lis Eachann »

Fist and Faith wrote:Am I the only one who thinks a Reader's Digest Condensed Bible is sorta hilarious?
Not at all. You gotta wonder what they're gonna take out - the murder of witches can go, but the good Samaritan stays. Leave one instance of homophobia for the sake of symbolisim, and take out all that Old Testament Law stuff, because Jesus said it wasn't important anymore. Don't forget the "water into wine" thing...

So what's next, the Koran? I don't see how this is an effective method of teaching religion, unless you've got an agenda.
"We probably could have saved ourselves, but we were too damned lazy to try very hard... and too damn cheap." - Kurt Vonnegut

"Now if you remember all great paintings have an element of tragedy to them. Uh, for instance if you remember from last week, the unicorn was stuck on the aircraft carrier and couldn't get off. That was very sad. " - Kids in the Hall
User avatar
[Syl]
Unfettered One
Posts: 13021
Joined: Sat Oct 26, 2002 12:36 am
Has thanked: 2 times
Been thanked: 1 time

Post by [Syl] »

Book of Revelations, Chapter 22
18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: 19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
"It is not the literal past that rules us, save, possibly, in a biological sense. It is images of the past. Each new historical era mirrors itself in the picture and active mythology of its past or of a past borrowed from other cultures. It tests its sense of identity, of regress or new achievement against that past.”
-George Steiner
User avatar
Kinslaughterer
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 2950
Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2003 3:38 am
Location: Backwoods

Post by Kinslaughterer »

I wonder who added that part? And who heeded it?

If too many things are omitted then you are dealing with a new religion.
"We do not follow maps to buried treasure, and remember:X never, ever, marks the spot."
- Professor Henry Jones Jr.

"Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet."

https://crowcanyon.org/
support your local archaeologist!
User avatar
Dromond
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 2451
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2002 3:17 am
Location: The Sunbirth Sea

Post by Dromond »

Syl wrote:Book of Revelations, Chapter 22
18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: 19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
Thanks, Syl. I'd totally forgotten about those verses.

Anyone?

Oh, Gee, this is simply another part where everyone else doesn't understand.


Stupid world. Stupid People.
Image
User avatar
The Laughing Man
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 9033
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2005 4:56 pm
Location: LMAO

Post by The Laughing Man »

* ahem *
That's talking about just Revelations, and not the whole Bible in particular? Has Revelations been altered or "condensed"? Might explain alot goin on lately if so..... :roll:
User avatar
Dromond
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 2451
Joined: Fri Aug 30, 2002 3:17 am
Location: The Sunbirth Sea

Post by Dromond »

I would guess, then , that you have a lot of 'splainin' to do...


Esmer... you have some 'spainin to do.... :lol:
Image
User avatar
Prebe
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 7926
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2005 7:19 pm
Location: People's Republic of Denmark

Post by Prebe »

What WAS John smoking??
Revelation 1
14 His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire; 15 And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters. 16 And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword
Revelation 4
6 And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind. 7 And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle. 8 And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, LORD God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come. 9 And when those beasts give glory and honour and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth for ever and ever
Revelation 5
6 And I beheld, and, lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four beasts, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent forth into all the earth
Revelation 8
7 The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up. 8 And the second angel sounded, and as it were a great mountain burning with fire was cast into the sea: and the third part of the sea became blood; 9 And the third part of the creatures which were in the sea, and had life, died; and the third part of the ships were destroyed. 10 And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters; 11 And the name of the star is called Wormwood: and the third part of the waters became wormwood; and many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter.
"I would have gone to the thesaurus for a more erudite word."
-Hashi Lebwohl
User avatar
The Laughing Man
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 9033
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2005 4:56 pm
Location: LMAO

Post by The Laughing Man »

Luuuuucy! Hime Hooo-oome!!!!!

Syl wrote:Book of Revelations, Chapter 22
18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: 19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
Book of Revelations, not Book of Bible? ;)
User avatar
ur-bane
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 3496
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 10:35 am
Location: United States of Andelain

Post by ur-bane »

I am not that familiar with the bible, so I have a question.
Esmer's interpretation is that the passage refers only to the book of Revelations. I can also see where "this book" could mean the entire bible, although it seems more likely Esmer's interpretation may be correct.

The question, however, which will lead to a conclusion IMO, is this:

Are the "plagues" mentioned in the passage specifically mentioned in the book of Revelations?

If yes, I think that we can associate the passage solely with Revelations.
If no, then clearly that passage refers to the Bible in general, and not just Revelations.
Image

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want
to test a man's character, give him power.
--Abraham Lincoln

Excerpt from Animal Songs Never Written
"Hey, dad," croaked the vulture, "what are you eating?"
"Carrion, my wayward son."
"Will there be pieces when you are done?"
User avatar
Prebe
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 7926
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2005 7:19 pm
Location: People's Republic of Denmark

Post by Prebe »

If the translation is correct it can ONLY be the revelation, for the simple reason that The Bible did not exist when St. John smoked his weed.
"I would have gone to the thesaurus for a more erudite word."
-Hashi Lebwohl
User avatar
ur-bane
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 3496
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 10:35 am
Location: United States of Andelain

Post by ur-bane »

Well, in the words of Homer Simpson:
"Doh!"
That makes perfect sense, Prebe. Unlike me just then (although it seemed legit when I was typing it). ;)

Maybe I need to lay off John's weed. ;)

Actually though, I really am not as familiar with the bible as others here, so my limited knowledge comes through at times.
Image

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want
to test a man's character, give him power.
--Abraham Lincoln

Excerpt from Animal Songs Never Written
"Hey, dad," croaked the vulture, "what are you eating?"
"Carrion, my wayward son."
"Will there be pieces when you are done?"
User avatar
Prebe
The Gap Into Spam
Posts: 7926
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2005 7:19 pm
Location: People's Republic of Denmark

Post by Prebe »

*LOL* ur-bane. It's getting late over there isn't it? :D
This is an excellent site. Complete with all versions and search function:

bible.com/bible_read.html

It's like "bluffers guide to the bible" :)
"I would have gone to the thesaurus for a more erudite word."
-Hashi Lebwohl
Post Reply

Return to “The Close”