More lines from Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter
Atheist Leader: We're the atheists. And we're here to cut your second coming short
They proceed to have a kung-fu battle where about 30 atheists come out of one Jeep Wrangler
Evil Scientist: We need more skin. Get me another lesbian!
A lot of people have said they need to see this movie, so let me give you the basic synopsis.
An evil group of lesbian vampires terrorizes the land. Stealing the skin of innocent girls so they can walk in the daylight, their rampage appears unstoppable.
BUT THEN!! Two priests (one of whom has a huge mowhawk) travel to the local beach where Jesus is busy baptising some random woman and "Building his father's kingdom"--that is, he's making sandcastles.
Before Jesus can make his decision, he and the priests are attacked by lesbian vampires. Tragically, both priests are killed in the attack. Luckily they were able to bless the lake first, killing all the vampires but one.
After a haircut, Jesus is shown to a special church appartment by another random priest. Inside he meets his new partner... Mary Magnum.
By the time the movie comes to a close, Jesus has battled lesbians vampires, repelled a massive atheist assault, worked with legends like Mary Magnum and Mexican Wrestling Sensation, El Santos, talked to God through his ice cream....
And to top it all off
It's a musical.
Worst Movie Lines
Moderators: dANdeLION, sgt.null
Prom_STar wrote:More lines from Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter
Atheist Leader: We're the atheists. And we're here to cut your second coming short
They proceed to have a kung-fu battle where about 30 atheists come out of one Jeep Wrangler
Evil Scientist: We need more skin. Get me another lesbian!
A lot of people have said they need to see this movie, so let me give you the basic synopsis.
An evil group of lesbian vampires terrorizes the land. Stealing the skin of innocent girls so they can walk in the daylight, their rampage appears unstoppable.
BUT THEN!! Two priests (one of whom has a huge mowhawk) travel to the local beach where Jesus is busy baptising some random woman and "Building his father's kingdom"--that is, he's making sandcastles.
Before Jesus can make his decision, he and the priests are attacked by lesbian vampires. Tragically, both priests are killed in the attack. Luckily they were able to bless the lake first, killing all the vampires but one.
After a haircut, Jesus is shown to a special church appartment by another random priest. Inside he meets his new partner... Mary Magnum.
By the time the movie comes to a close, Jesus has battled lesbians vampires, repelled a massive atheist assault, worked with legends like Mary Magnum and Mexican Wrestling Sensation, El Santos, talked to God through his ice cream....
And to top it all off
It's a musical.
Best. Film. Ever.
But if you're all about the destination, then take a fucking flight.
We're going nowhere slowly, but we're seeing all the sights.
And we're definitely going to hell, but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Full of the heavens and time.
We're going nowhere slowly, but we're seeing all the sights.
And we're definitely going to hell, but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
Full of the heavens and time.
If someone were to ask me what the perfect movie would be, that is word-for-word how I'd describe it.Prom_STar wrote:More lines from Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter
Atheist Leader: We're the atheists. And we're here to cut your second coming short
They proceed to have a kung-fu battle where about 30 atheists come out of one Jeep Wrangler
Evil Scientist: We need more skin. Get me another lesbian!
A lot of people have said they need to see this movie, so let me give you the basic synopsis.
An evil group of lesbian vampires terrorizes the land. Stealing the skin of innocent girls so they can walk in the daylight, their rampage appears unstoppable.
BUT THEN!! Two priests (one of whom has a huge mowhawk) travel to the local beach where Jesus is busy baptising some random woman and "Building his father's kingdom"--that is, he's making sandcastles.
Before Jesus can make his decision, he and the priests are attacked by lesbian vampires. Tragically, both priests are killed in the attack. Luckily they were able to bless the lake first, killing all the vampires but one.
After a haircut, Jesus is shown to a special church appartment by another random priest. Inside he meets his new partner... Mary Magnum.
By the time the movie comes to a close, Jesus has battled lesbians vampires, repelled a massive atheist assault, worked with legends like Mary Magnum and Mexican Wrestling Sensation, El Santos, talked to God through his ice cream....
And to top it all off
It's a musical.
I gotta get this movie.
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." - PJ O'Rourke
_____________
"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
_____________
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
_____________
_____________
"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
_____________
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
_____________
There's definitley some blasphemous elements. At the end Jesus presents a very universalistic message--in particular, one that denies his deity. Obviously, that's just a tad different than "before Abraham was I AM" and "no one comes to the father except through me."
Also, don't get your hopes up.
1.) this is a canadian independent film. I have absolutely no idea where you could acquire too
2.) this is a canadian independent film. It's really, really, really, really crappy. Acting, videography, sets, special effects, even story all pretty much suck
3.) this is a canadian independent film.
If you don't mind those three little things (and the blasphemy) than Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter is the movie for you.
Also, don't get your hopes up.
1.) this is a canadian independent film. I have absolutely no idea where you could acquire too
2.) this is a canadian independent film. It's really, really, really, really crappy. Acting, videography, sets, special effects, even story all pretty much suck
3.) this is a canadian independent film.
If you don't mind those three little things (and the blasphemy) than Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter is the movie for you.
Was auch immer komm, dieses weiß ich für sicher:
Ich bin zurückgekauft.
Wenn Diamanten reichlich war, würden sie keinen Wert haben. Echter Wert kommt nich aus schönheit--er kommt aus seltenheit.
Ich bin zurückgekauft.
Wenn Diamanten reichlich war, würden sie keinen Wert haben. Echter Wert kommt nich aus schönheit--er kommt aus seltenheit.
Apparently...
I thought they were busy with their... uh... bacon. yeah, that crazy canadian bacon of theirs....
*Glares*
I thought they were busy with their... uh... bacon. yeah, that crazy canadian bacon of theirs....
*Glares*
Was auch immer komm, dieses weiß ich für sicher:
Ich bin zurückgekauft.
Wenn Diamanten reichlich war, würden sie keinen Wert haben. Echter Wert kommt nich aus schönheit--er kommt aus seltenheit.
Ich bin zurückgekauft.
Wenn Diamanten reichlich war, würden sie keinen Wert haben. Echter Wert kommt nich aus schönheit--er kommt aus seltenheit.
You know, I still don't understand canadian bacon. It's ham. What do you get if you order ham?
Or is "ham" a bad word in Canadian?
Or is "ham" a bad word in Canadian?
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." - PJ O'Rourke
_____________
"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
_____________
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
_____________
_____________
"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
_____________
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
_____________
-
[Syl]
- Unfettered One
- Posts: 13020
- Joined: Sat Oct 26, 2002 12:36 am
- Has thanked: 1 time
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Different cut (thigh vs loin... thank you, 4H). It's also a bit more diet friendly. *shrug*
"It is not the literal past that rules us, save, possibly, in a biological sense. It is images of the past. Each new historical era mirrors itself in the picture and active mythology of its past or of a past borrowed from other cultures. It tests its sense of identity, of regress or new achievement against that past.”
-George Steiner
-George Steiner
So if you just order bacon you get bacon, or do you have to order 'Murican bacon?
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." - PJ O'Rourke
_____________
"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
_____________
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
_____________
_____________
"Men and women range themselves into three classes or orders of intelligence; you can tell the lowest class by their habit of always talking about persons; the next by the fact that their habit is always to converse about things; the highest by their preference for the discussion of ideas." - Charles Stewart
_____________
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." - James Madison
_____________
-
[Syl]
- Unfettered One
- Posts: 13020
- Joined: Sat Oct 26, 2002 12:36 am
- Has thanked: 1 time
- Been thanked: 1 time
Heh. I have to admit, when I was ordering breakfast in Halifax (shore leave) and got the "bacon" I joked about that very thing with my buddy, wondering which one it would be. I got bacon. Rrrreally good bacon.
"It is not the literal past that rules us, save, possibly, in a biological sense. It is images of the past. Each new historical era mirrors itself in the picture and active mythology of its past or of a past borrowed from other cultures. It tests its sense of identity, of regress or new achievement against that past.”
-George Steiner
-George Steiner