S*** Happens, by way of world religions (*language*)

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[Syl]
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S*** Happens, by way of world religions (*language*)

Post by [Syl] »

www.thejaywalker.com/pages/shit_happens.html
# Taoism: Shit happens.
# Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
# Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
# Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
# Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
# Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
# Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
# Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
# Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
# Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
# Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
# Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
# Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
# Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
# Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
# Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
# Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
# Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
# Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
# Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
# Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
# Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
# Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
# Creationism: God made all shit.
# Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
# Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
# Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
# Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
# Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
# Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
# Darwinism: This shit was once food.
# Capitalism: That's MY shit.
# Communism: It's everybody's shit.
# Feminism: Men are shit.
# Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
# Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
# Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
# Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
# Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
# Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
# Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
# Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
# Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
# Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
# Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
# Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
# Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
# Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
# Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
# Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
# Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
# Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
# Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
# Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
# Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
# Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
# Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
# Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
# Atheism: What shit?
# Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
# Nihilism: No shit.

# And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!
And I believe I just set the KW record for number of profanities in any single one post.
"It is not the literal past that rules us, save, possibly, in a biological sense. It is images of the past. Each new historical era mirrors itself in the picture and active mythology of its past or of a past borrowed from other cultures. It tests its sense of identity, of regress or new achievement against that past.”
-George Steiner
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Post by Avatar »

Haha, I love these. Seen them on a T-shirt before.

A few extra on this list though. :lol:

--A
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ur-bane
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Post by ur-bane »

Now, based on your view of sh*t happening, what affiliation do you most resemble from the list? ;)
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Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want
to test a man's character, give him power.
--Abraham Lincoln

Excerpt from Animal Songs Never Written
"Hey, dad," croaked the vulture, "what are you eating?"
"Carrion, my wayward son."
"Will there be pieces when you are done?"
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Post by [Syl] »

Unitarianism, Atheism #2, and a bit of Zen Buddhism, I think.
"It is not the literal past that rules us, save, possibly, in a biological sense. It is images of the past. Each new historical era mirrors itself in the picture and active mythology of its past or of a past borrowed from other cultures. It tests its sense of identity, of regress or new achievement against that past.”
-George Steiner
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Post by lucimay »

i'm hinduism, secular humanism, and nihilism! :lol:
you're more advanced than a cockroach,
have you ever tried explaining yourself
to one of them?
~ alan bates, the mothman prophecies


i've had this with actors before, on the set,
where they get upset about the [size of my]
trailer, and i'm always like...take my trailer,
cause... i'm from Kentucky
and that's not what we brag about.
~ george clooney, inside the actor's studio


a straight edge for legends at
the fold - searching for our
lost cities of gold. burnt tar,
gravel pits. sixteen gears switch.
Haphazard Lucy strolls by.
~ dennis r wood ~
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Post by dlbpharmd »

These are great!
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Post by sgt.null »

Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.

congrats Syl : best post this year!
Lenin, Marx
Marx, Lennon
Good Dog...
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Post by Xar »

# Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
:haha:
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Post by dlbpharmd »

Pentacostal: [in unknown tongue] Oh shanananaya!
Translation: Shit happens.
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Post by sgt.null »

life can be broken down to two main components, blood and shit - sgtnull
Lenin, Marx
Marx, Lennon
Good Dog...
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Post by The Leper Fairy »

Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Hahaha :haha:

What would Objectivism be? :? And Transcendentalism?
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Pie and Cake
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Post by sgt.null »

Transcendentalism : shit is truth

Objectivism : my shit don't stink
Lenin, Marx
Marx, Lennon
Good Dog...
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Post by Nav »

#Church of England: Shit happens. Now how about a nice cup of tea?
Q. Why do Communists drink herbal tea?
A. Because proper tea is theft.
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Post by Phantasm »

That list is a load of shit :wink:
Quote - John Smeaton (Terrorists take note)

"This is Glasgow- we'll just set aboot ye"



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Post by Gadget nee Jemcheeta »

Church of the SubGenius: Bob shits! :)
Start where you are,
use what you have,
do what you can.
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Post by Avatar »

JemCheeta. :D

Where the hell have you been? :D And will you even see this post? :lol:

--A
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Post by Plissken »

Radical American Fundamentalism: POOOOOOOP!
“If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.”
-- James Madison

"If you're going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise they'll kill you." - George Bernard Shaw
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Post by [Syl] »

Plissken, LOL.

See also: God hates shit.
"It is not the literal past that rules us, save, possibly, in a biological sense. It is images of the past. Each new historical era mirrors itself in the picture and active mythology of its past or of a past borrowed from other cultures. It tests its sense of identity, of regress or new achievement against that past.”
-George Steiner
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Post by Elfgirl »

Dont' forget feminism - Men are responsible for all the shit in this world.
ImageImageImage
"Right away would be good. Right now would be better"
-- Nick Succorso
OK, so what's the speed of dark?- Larry the Cable Guy
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Gadget nee Jemcheeta
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Post by Gadget nee Jemcheeta »

I did see the post Av. Just wanted to be clear :)
Elfgirl, excellent.
Start where you are,
use what you have,
do what you can.
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