Questions

[[Syl]]

Light hearted, but open-ended. Any discussions that get good enough will get their own thread. I'll start with an easy one.

If you could change any one thing about yourself (mental, physical, and/or situational) what would it be, why, and barring physical restraints, why haven't you?

Mentally, I'd stop being such a slacker. Seriously, I have very little will power when it comes to the long term. I fail at just about any kind of resolution. And I've tried. I've tried to get myself into patterns. The best I can do is to put myself in situations where I don't have a choice.

Physically, I'd have longer legs. If my legs matched my upper body, I'd be at least 6'2". As it is, I'm 5'10", and sitting down I'm taller than most people that are 6'3". If anything, I think it would make running a lot easier.

Situationally, I'd like to own my own house. Until recently, my credit's sucked, and now I have no idea where I'll be six months from now. Soon, though. Soon.

[sgt.null]

mentally: being less lazy about writing.

physical i am working at, to lose weight.

situation: i also want to own our house.

[Avatar]

Haha, I've gotta share your first point there Syl. I'm a total slacker. I'm so good at slacking, that nobody even knows how much of a slacker I am...except the GF I guess, and she only approaches knowing the full extent.

Probably too callous and selfish as well, but at least I've learned to be tactful.

As for why I haven't changed that, (which I see you haven't mentioned Syl ), the answer is easy...I'm too much of a slacker.

Physically? Nothing really, quite happy with myself. Maybe a little taller, if I had to pick something (I'm just over 5'8", but I think of it so rarely that it sometimes comes as a shock when I actually notice that I'm relatively short. )

Owing a house would be nice, so would being independantly wealthy, getting paid for not doing anything, or getting obscene amounts of money for something that requires no real effort, or at least, doing something I love.

--A

[Worm of Despite]

Physically - Was 300 pounds w/ a keg for a belly two years ago, now 150 with washboard abs. I'm not about to complain.

Mentally - I'd like to slow down these days, if anything. Reading college books, books for enjoyment, writing essays (blech), poems, playing music, keeping the house from falling apart, jogging two miles every day. I want to write music and thinking of learning German. Twenty-four hours a day are not enough.

If there's anything I could change, I'd like to be more in tune with the needs of others. I'd also like to be more sociable. I never make eye contact--ever. It feels very rude to me to stare into someone's face, which gives me a bit of contempt for U.S. culture's proclivity to do so. I suitably feel nervous or cramped in classrooms; I feel like people pick up on that aura in a negative manner. I also feel a tinge of guilt at all times, despite any good acts I try to accomplish.

[Prebe]

Would like to be a little less defensive. I too often take things as an attack when they were really not meant as one. I also have (IRL as well) a bad habit of being too sarcastic. It is a favorite mode of expression for me, just can't help it. These are mental traits that you need to think about ALL the time, if you want to change them. And I am to forgetfull to keep it in mind every second, so there

Physically I'd like to lose 30 pounds, but what' you gonna do? Please don't say eat less and excercise more

[Avatar]

Guilt Lord Foul? You a closet murderer or something?

...actually, I don't know what to say, except I feel I should say something about not burdening yourself with things you can't change or something.

I've felt guilt so rarely in my life that I can't imagine what it must be like to feel it constantly, no matter how mildly. Does it do you any good? Encourage you to act differently/more acceptably to you? If not, my heartiest advice is to ditch it. It's probably just a neurosis or something.

Just keeping in mind the fact that you do tend to take things as an attack should help you not to Prebe, knowing that you do so should make you think "Maybe it isn't one afterall...how would I react then?" If you know what I mean.

--A

[matrixman]

What are you, Av, the resident Watch psychologist? Let Foul feel guilty! It's his right. We all have a right to dump on ourselves around here, so don't you start turning us into happy bimbos!

Remember, we're Donaldson readers here. Happy, contented bimbos don't read Donaldson.

Mentally, I'd stop being such a slacker. Seriously, I have very little will power when it comes to the long term. I fail at just about any kind of resolution. And I've tried. I've tried to get myself into patterns. The best I can do is to put myself in situations where I don't have a choice.

That describes me so well it's scary. But I will conceive a clear purpose for my life. Eventually. Honest!

Physically: where do I begin? But I'll keep it simple: wish I was taller and stronger. Why? Taller, because it's annoying having people look down at me. Stronger, because then I could throw my weight around more at my job. Literally.

Situationally: yeah, a house would be cool. But that might imply settling down with a family - married with children and all that jazz - and I just don't care for that. Maybe a condo would be better for me.

[Avatar]

Oh no, I don't really approve of Psychologists, (Don't tell LoreMaster ) but I also don't approve of people dumping on themselves either. The world is full enough of people who will do it for you with little or no cause without you adding yourself to their number.

You don't have to be happy, but you don't have to feel bad about it either.

(Looks like a good few slackers here. It's fine...you don't think remote controls and dishwashers were invented by non-slackers do you? )

--A

[Fist and Faith]

I'm with Syl, as far as being a slacker. Terrible, terrible problem with me.

But what I'd change is my smoothness, or the lack thereof, with women. I hated highschool passionately, and many years since then, because I didn't know how to attract women, or didn't know I was getting signals from them, or whatever. I do ok now, and I'm currently in the relationship I've always dreamed of, which I hope will last for the rest of my life. But women my age are looking for different things then they were when they were younger when they weren't interested in me. Or, maybe they always wanted these things, but they no longer want the things I never was. Or something. If I knew what I was talking about where women are concerned, I'd've been a lot happier all along.

[Loredoctor]

Mentally - stop hating myself so much.

Physically - cure my epilepsy.

[High Lord Tolkien]

Would like to be a little less defensive. I too often take things as an attack when they were really not meant as one. I also have (IRL as well) a bad habit of being too sarcastic. It is a favorite mode of expression for me, just can't help it.

The best and most interesting people in the world are sarcastic.

Physically I'd like to lose 30 pounds, but what' you gonna do? Please don't say eat less and excercise more

[Loredoctor]

Would like to be a little less defensive. I too often take things as an attack when they were really not meant as one.

Are you having a go at me?

Seriously, I am very defensive. I know how you feel.

[nuk]

My fifteen-year period of fantasizing about putting a gun in my mouth seems to be over. Everything else remaining that I'd want to change is completely trivial by comparison. But the biggest remaining, I'd say, is wanting my shoulders to stop being so lax and easily dislocated.

[Avatar]

Might have to resort to surgical intervention for that Nuk. IIRC, they can either shrink the tendons with heat, or else they put a pin against the joint to keep it in.

Don't think there's any other way.

--A

[nuk]

The only other way I've heard of is to exercise the rotary cuff muscles. I'm working on it, but I think the main thing that keeps my shoulders in now is avoiding motions on my list of "things that will cause great pain."

[Avatar]

Didn't know excercising them would help...will mention it to my brother. Hope it works out for you.

--A

[Wyldewode]

My turn. . .

Mentally: I would love to master the self-awareness and self-control to stop repeating patterns of behavior that aren't working for me.

Physically: I would be more physically fit, but most of all I would like to get to the point where I can accept my body and not see it as a collection of problem areas. By the way, I feel a bit of a rant coming on about body issues. . . stay tuned. It will be worth your time.

Situationally: Two things: I want to find a job that really fits me, one that I won't burn out on. I'm afraid I'm burning out at my current job and I'm not quite into my second year of it. Secondly, I'd love to find and have a healthy relationship with a man I respect and admire--hopefully one that will lead to marriage and offspring.

Why don't I have these things? Some of them have to do with a tendency to repeat old patterns of behavior, and others are due to my perception of who I am and who I should be. And still others of these things I do not have because I haven't found what I am looking for yet.

~Lyr

[Avatar]

Mentally: I would love to master the self-awareness and self-control to stop repeating patterns of behavior that aren't working for me.

Do you recognise those patterns when you enter (or are about to enter) them?

--A

[Wyldewode]

Do you recognise those patterns when you enter (or are about to enter) them?

--A

The patterns I am referring to are patterns of interaction in relationships, and also patterns of thinking about certain situations. I did not always recognize them. . .but I am getting better at it, and knowing what my motivations are.

[Avatar]

If you can recognise them for what they are, then you're almost all the way to changing it. Good luck.

--A