Joke de jeur or however that's spelled...

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CovenantJr
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Post by CovenantJr »

He's Captain Scarlet
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Post by danlo »

Cliff was his gay lover? 8O
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Post by Dromond »

He's an actor; it's a movie.
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Post by Landwaster »

Premonition?

Here's some jokes for you :

Q. What's sits at the bottom of the ocean and goes "dot dash dash dot dash"?
A. A morse cod.

Q. Why was the baby ink drop crying?
A. Cause his mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.

Q. Difference between a pen and a pencil?
A. You can push a pen, but a pencil has to be lead.

Q. Difference between a draught horse and a cavalry horse.
A. A cavalry horse darts into the fray and a draught horse ...

Q. White and crumbly and swings from tree to tree?
A. Meringue-otang.

Q. Yellow, wears glasses and sings?
A. Banana Mouskouri.
Do you think I like being this dangerous?
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Dromond
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Post by Dromond »

Forestal wrote:... and returns home. 10 minutes later they are eating dinner together, how?
She's serving leftovers? :)
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Post by Landwaster »

Maybe he was just basejumping ...
Do you think I like being this dangerous?
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Post by Forestal »

dromond pretty much had it:

answer: he's a stuntman!
"Damn!!! Wildwood was unbelievably cool!!!!!" - Fist&Faith
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CovenantJr
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Post by CovenantJr »

Landwaster wrote:Q. Why was the baby ink drop crying?
A. Cause his mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
Oh dear, that was funnier than humanly possible. It almost almost qualified as :o a good joke 8O
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Post by Landwaster »

Did I ask yers once before what a crowbar was for?

Cause its for raven alcoholics.
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Post by Dromond »

Geez, LW, you really killed this thread! :D
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Post by Dromond »

The Leper Fairy wrote:Aw man... this is a really good idea for a thread... I wish it was more popular *nudge nudge wink wink*
Where ya been??? :D
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Post by danlo »

Q. White and crumbly and swings from tree to tree?
A. Meringue-otang.

8O OOOOO I like that one! :lol:
fall far and well Pilots!
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Post by aTOMiC »

Three men are standing on the top of a skyscraper. One guy walks to the edge and says to the others:
“I bet I can jump over the edge and ride the wind currents blowing up between the buildings and land safely right here where I started.”
One of the other two laughed and peered over the edge:
“You’re crazy. No one can do that you idiot!”
Suddenly the first man smiled and leapt over the edge.
Sure enough he fell only a short way and then slowly rose up and dropped back down where he started.
The second man was shocked.
”Wow that is amazing! I wanna try.”
The first man stepped aside and the second man threw himself over the edge to plunge forty stories to the hard pavement below.
The third man stepped forward with a angry look upon his face.
”You know superman, sometimes you can be such an ***hole!”


:-)
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Post by Forestal »

rofl!!!!

heard it before, but its always funny...

the way i heard it, the punchline was "you know superman, your a real asshole when your drunk!"

lol...
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Post by aTOMiC »

Forestal wrote:rofl!!!!

heard it before, but its always funny...

the way i heard it, the punchline was "you know superman, your a real asshole when your drunk!"

lol...


What is funny to me is how you get a different punchline depending on the kind of person that tells the story. I heard it much the same way I posted it first and a few years later I heard it much like you have mentioned. I think I heard it the second time playing darts in a pub. :lol:
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The Leper Fairy
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Post by The Leper Fairy »

Omg... I was just gonna post that joke! Good thing I read the whole thread first!

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"
In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn''t do it."

The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

**********************************
There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, "I want a motercycle helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.

It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."



:D
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aTOMiC
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Post by aTOMiC »

TLF, BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Poor Bear! Mean Rabbit. :-)
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Post by aTOMiC »

A string walks into a bar. He marches up and plops himself down upon a stool and asks for a whiskey. The bartender turns with a cross look on his face and proclaims, “We don’t serve your kind here. You’ll have to leave.” The string is shocked and heartbroken. He wanders out of the bar with his head bowed. Out in the street the string decides that he will try to disguise himself and sneak back in. First he ruffles the top of his head until the strands hang down in clumps and then he ties himself into a loop. Feeling confident that he won’t be recognized he strides back into the bar and plops himself down upon a stool. The bartender leers at the string suspiciously. “Hey! Are you one of them strings?” The string nervously replies, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”


I know. :-)
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Post by Skyweir »

:roll: :LOLS:

yeah i know too ;) ;) :haha:
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keep smiling 😊 :D 😊

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Post by dANdeLION »

My turn: An man and his wife are driving home from a party that they had just ruined by getting into a bad argument. Silence reigns as they drive through the countryside. THe man asks his wife as they pass some cows grazing at the side of the road "Relatives of yours?". The wife answers: "Yeah, in-laws".

baDUMbum. :screwy:
Dandelion don't tell no lies
Dandelion will make you wise
Tell me if she laughs or cries
Blow away dandelion


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I'm just a dandelion
a fate I don't deserve.


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