Stephen C. McKinney Memorial Thread (1969-2001)
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Furls Fire
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Furls Fire
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Huggles Auleliel 
If it helped then Stephen nudged me in the right direction.
There's a place in the darkness that I used to cling to
That presses harsh hope against time.
In the absence of martyrs there's a presence of thieves
Who only want to rob you blind.
They steal away any sense of peace.
Tho' I'm a king I'm a king on my knees.
And I know they are wrong when they say I am strong
As the darkness covers me.
So turn on the light and reveal all the glory.
I am not afraid.
To bear all my weakness, knowing in meekness,
I have a kingdom to gain.
Where there is peace and love in the light
In the light , I am not afraid
To let your light shine bright in my life, in my life
There are ghosts from my past who've owned more of my soul
Than I thought I had given away.
They linger in closets and under my bed
And in pictures less proudly displayed.
A great fool in my life I have been
Have squandered 'til pallid and thin.
Hung my head in shame and refused to take blame
For the darkness I know I've let win.
So turn on the light and reveal all the glory.
I am not afraid
To bear all my weakness, knowing in meekness,
I have a kingdom to gain.
Where there is peace and love in the light
In the light , I am not afraid
To let your light shine bright in my life, in my life
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
I've never been much for the bearing of soul
In the presence of any man.
I'd rather keep to myself all safe and secure
In the arms of a sinner I am.
Could it be that my worth should defend
By the crimson stained grace on a hand?
And like a lamp on a hill Lord I pray in your will
To reveal all of you that I can.
So turn on the light and reveal all the glory.
I am not afraid.
To bear all my weakness, knowing in meekness,
I have a kingdom to gain.
Where there is peace and love in the light
In the light , I am not afraid
To let your light shine bright in my life, in my life
There's a place in the darkness that I used to cling to
That presses harsh hope against time. --Jennifer Knapp, Martyrs & Thieves
If it helped then Stephen nudged me in the right direction.
There's a place in the darkness that I used to cling to
That presses harsh hope against time.
In the absence of martyrs there's a presence of thieves
Who only want to rob you blind.
They steal away any sense of peace.
Tho' I'm a king I'm a king on my knees.
And I know they are wrong when they say I am strong
As the darkness covers me.
So turn on the light and reveal all the glory.
I am not afraid.
To bear all my weakness, knowing in meekness,
I have a kingdom to gain.
Where there is peace and love in the light
In the light , I am not afraid
To let your light shine bright in my life, in my life
There are ghosts from my past who've owned more of my soul
Than I thought I had given away.
They linger in closets and under my bed
And in pictures less proudly displayed.
A great fool in my life I have been
Have squandered 'til pallid and thin.
Hung my head in shame and refused to take blame
For the darkness I know I've let win.
So turn on the light and reveal all the glory.
I am not afraid
To bear all my weakness, knowing in meekness,
I have a kingdom to gain.
Where there is peace and love in the light
In the light , I am not afraid
To let your light shine bright in my life, in my life
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
I've never been much for the bearing of soul
In the presence of any man.
I'd rather keep to myself all safe and secure
In the arms of a sinner I am.
Could it be that my worth should defend
By the crimson stained grace on a hand?
And like a lamp on a hill Lord I pray in your will
To reveal all of you that I can.
So turn on the light and reveal all the glory.
I am not afraid.
To bear all my weakness, knowing in meekness,
I have a kingdom to gain.
Where there is peace and love in the light
In the light , I am not afraid
To let your light shine bright in my life, in my life
There's a place in the darkness that I used to cling to
That presses harsh hope against time. --Jennifer Knapp, Martyrs & Thieves
And I believe in you
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
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Furls Fire
- Lord
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- Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2003 10:35 am
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Welcome to Stephen's thread Godschild! I'm so happy that you were uplifted by his journals and his life. It amazes me that you only just registered and have already read thru the whole thread. It is events like this that bring me such joy, and reaffirm my faith. My brother definitely nudged me in the right direction.
Again, welcome Godschild! (I love the name!)
I'm so happy that you were uplifted by his journals and his life. It amazes me that you only just registered and have already read thru the whole thread. It is events like this that bring me such joy, and reaffirm my faith. My brother definitely nudged me in the right direction.Again, welcome Godschild! (I love the name!)
And I believe in you
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
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Fist and Faith
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Furls Fire
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Good!Godschild wrote:Thanks for the welcome
Well, my dissection for the last chapter of Fatal Revenant is due up this weekend. So, hopefully by next weekend I can get another entry posted. Most of the time is spent looking for one to post.
In April, while I'm in NY, I'm going to let Fisty and Duchy pick one.
And I believe in you
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
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Furls Fire
- Lord
- Posts: 4872
- Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2003 10:35 am
- Location: Heaven
A few hours ago, Stevie, my beautiful son brought me one of Stephen's journals. It was opened to a certain page. As he handed it to me he said, "Here Mommy, please don't cry."
Before I asked him why he thought I would cry, or why he brought me the journal, and before I could even look at the page it was turned too, the phone rang.
It was Jason. Jason and his wife Marissa were going to be the adoptive parents of a sweet baby boy named Bijan. He was 8 months old and already in acute HIV infection. I have been fighting for weeks with everyone I knew to get that baby out of South Africa and over here...
Jason told me that the Bijan passed away yesterday. They are devastated. I was devastated...
I have tried for weeks to get that baby out of South Africa and into their arms...
I hung up the phone, in tears, and looked down at the journal in my lap...
This was it...
Before I asked him why he thought I would cry, or why he brought me the journal, and before I could even look at the page it was turned too, the phone rang.
It was Jason. Jason and his wife Marissa were going to be the adoptive parents of a sweet baby boy named Bijan. He was 8 months old and already in acute HIV infection. I have been fighting for weeks with everyone I knew to get that baby out of South Africa and over here...
Jason told me that the Bijan passed away yesterday. They are devastated. I was devastated...
I have tried for weeks to get that baby out of South Africa and into their arms...
I hung up the phone, in tears, and looked down at the journal in my lap...
This was it...
And I believe in you
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
June 28, 1991 8:36pm
Tracie, who bleeds out everything she has, brought over the new George Michael album today, saying I needed to hear a song on it. She knew it would speak to me, as it did her. There are times when songs and poems and phrases and bits of words run through our head in an effort to make us listen to them all at once. We find ourselves shutting out the world during those times and try to focus on what they want us to understand. Ah, but they are demanding, and don’t wait their turn and speak on top of each other, until it all becomes noise. And yet, there are times, a word or two gets through and we begin to wade through the rush of the rest.
Now, this song is there alone, playing itself over and over. Another soul sings out…
These are the days of the open hand
They will not be the last
Look around now
These are the days of the beggars
And the choosers
This is the year of the hungry man
Whose place is in the past
Hand in hand with ignorance
And legitimate excuses
The rich declare themselves poor
And most of us are not sure
If we have too much
But well take our chances
Because God stopped keeping score
I guess somewhere along the way
He must have let us all out to play
Turned His back and all God’s children
Crept out the back door
And it’s hard to love,
There’s so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above
Say it’s much too late
Well maybe we should all be
Praying for time
These are the days of the empty hand
Oh you hold on to what you can
And charity is a coat you wear
Twice a year
This is the year of the guilty man
Your television takes a stand
And you find that what was over there
Is over here
So you scream from behind your door
Say what’s mine is mine and not yours
I may have too much
But I’ll take my chances
Because God stopped keeping score
And you cling to the things
They sold you
Did you cover your eyes when
They told you
That He can’t come back
Because He has no children
To come back for
And it’s hard to love,
There’s so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above
Say it’s much too late
So maybe we should all be
Praying for time.
Mercy, there are times when everything in my mind goes quiet, and my soul opens itself up wide, and a single voice rises above all else. I think of AIDS, I think of starvation, I think of homelessness, I think of hate. “These are the days of the empty hand” indeed. Of all there is in the world, of all the wealth in the world, of all the gluttony in the world…there are empty hands. My heart weeps, and this song just keeps on overplaying itself.
Tracie bleeds out everything she has, and as we listened to this song, her eyes bled tears. “We do so much, and yet it’s so small, so small. There is such grief, and hunger, and sickness out there. You know, Stevie, sometimes I feel so helpless and useless, no matter what we do, it will never be enough.”
“What we do, will never be enough, but we will do it. We are who we are. Our souls are what they are. And what it’s all for, is worth the weeping, is worth the weakness, is worth the breaking of our hearts. For, we are God’s children, and we haven’t crept away.”
Tracie bleeds out everything, absolutely everything she has…
Tracie, who bleeds out everything she has, brought over the new George Michael album today, saying I needed to hear a song on it. She knew it would speak to me, as it did her. There are times when songs and poems and phrases and bits of words run through our head in an effort to make us listen to them all at once. We find ourselves shutting out the world during those times and try to focus on what they want us to understand. Ah, but they are demanding, and don’t wait their turn and speak on top of each other, until it all becomes noise. And yet, there are times, a word or two gets through and we begin to wade through the rush of the rest.
Now, this song is there alone, playing itself over and over. Another soul sings out…
These are the days of the open hand
They will not be the last
Look around now
These are the days of the beggars
And the choosers
This is the year of the hungry man
Whose place is in the past
Hand in hand with ignorance
And legitimate excuses
The rich declare themselves poor
And most of us are not sure
If we have too much
But well take our chances
Because God stopped keeping score
I guess somewhere along the way
He must have let us all out to play
Turned His back and all God’s children
Crept out the back door
And it’s hard to love,
There’s so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above
Say it’s much too late
Well maybe we should all be
Praying for time
These are the days of the empty hand
Oh you hold on to what you can
And charity is a coat you wear
Twice a year
This is the year of the guilty man
Your television takes a stand
And you find that what was over there
Is over here
So you scream from behind your door
Say what’s mine is mine and not yours
I may have too much
But I’ll take my chances
Because God stopped keeping score
And you cling to the things
They sold you
Did you cover your eyes when
They told you
That He can’t come back
Because He has no children
To come back for
And it’s hard to love,
There’s so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above
Say it’s much too late
So maybe we should all be
Praying for time.
Mercy, there are times when everything in my mind goes quiet, and my soul opens itself up wide, and a single voice rises above all else. I think of AIDS, I think of starvation, I think of homelessness, I think of hate. “These are the days of the empty hand” indeed. Of all there is in the world, of all the wealth in the world, of all the gluttony in the world…there are empty hands. My heart weeps, and this song just keeps on overplaying itself.
Tracie bleeds out everything she has, and as we listened to this song, her eyes bled tears. “We do so much, and yet it’s so small, so small. There is such grief, and hunger, and sickness out there. You know, Stevie, sometimes I feel so helpless and useless, no matter what we do, it will never be enough.”
“What we do, will never be enough, but we will do it. We are who we are. Our souls are what they are. And what it’s all for, is worth the weeping, is worth the weakness, is worth the breaking of our hearts. For, we are God’s children, and we haven’t crept away.”
Tracie bleeds out everything, absolutely everything she has…
I sing to life
and to it's tragic beauty
to pain and to strife
and all that dances thru me
the rise and the fall
i've lived thru it all...
To my brother, Steve, who held a grace and light beyond words, God bless. I love you --Tracie
and to it's tragic beauty
to pain and to strife
and all that dances thru me
the rise and the fall
i've lived thru it all...
To my brother, Steve, who held a grace and light beyond words, God bless. I love you --Tracie
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Fist and Faith
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Silly girl! Of course it's enough. Saving one life is everything. How many lives have you saved? Saving one soul from despair is everything. How many souls have you saved? Giving love to a single person is saving the entire universe for all eternity. How many people have you loved?
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Of course it's enough. Saving one life is everything. How many lives have you saved? Saving one soul from despair is everything. How many souls have you saved? Giving love to a single person is saving the entire universe for all eternity. How many people have you loved?\/
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All lies and jest
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest -Paul Simon
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest -Paul Simon
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Furls Fire
- Lord
- Posts: 4872
- Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2003 10:35 am
- Location: Heaven
Huggles
Oh, I know. I think that is why Stephen put that journal into Stevie's hand. He knew how hard that this would hit me. It broke my heart, Jason and Marissa were scheduled to leave this Saturday to go and get him.
"Praying for time". It ran out on Bijan. He was a beautiful baby.
You know, I played that song over and over again yesterday. And I remember the day when I took that tape over to Stephen's dorm room (he was at Berkeley at the time). We were both touched by it.
But, like he says...we are who we are, our souls are what they are...
And I will keep doing what I do, because I have too.
I was just telling Menolly on IM, that what goes on here would surprise alot of people. And might even scare a few. Anyway, Stevie has been doing alot of things lately that remind me very much of how Stephen was as a child. He's got a sixth sense, he has very vivid dreams, and he says he talks to angels. So, yesterday floored me, but then again, it didn't.
For Bijan:
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget
Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light--Fly, Celine Dion
Oh, I know. I think that is why Stephen put that journal into Stevie's hand. He knew how hard that this would hit me. It broke my heart, Jason and Marissa were scheduled to leave this Saturday to go and get him.
"Praying for time". It ran out on Bijan. He was a beautiful baby.
You know, I played that song over and over again yesterday. And I remember the day when I took that tape over to Stephen's dorm room (he was at Berkeley at the time). We were both touched by it.
But, like he says...we are who we are, our souls are what they are...
And I will keep doing what I do, because I have too.
I was just telling Menolly on IM, that what goes on here would surprise alot of people. And might even scare a few. Anyway, Stevie has been doing alot of things lately that remind me very much of how Stephen was as a child. He's got a sixth sense, he has very vivid dreams, and he says he talks to angels. So, yesterday floored me, but then again, it didn't.
For Bijan:
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget
Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light--Fly, Celine Dion
And I believe in you
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
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Furls Fire
- Lord
- Posts: 4872
- Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2003 10:35 am
- Location: Heaven
Heidi has David Cook's album, he was last season's American Idol winner. She came to me yesterday and said, "Mom, there is a song in this album. It's called "Permanent", David wrote it for his brother, Adam, who has been suffering with a brain tumor for the last 10 years. You have to hear it. It's about everyone, Grandpa, Uncle Steve, Uncle Isaiah, Lynne, Zia, Bijan, Kenny, Sonjya...everyone". So, she played it for me, and I have not stopped listening to it...
For Dad, Stephen, Isaiah, Zia, Lynne, Bijan...and like Heidi says "everyone", who have suffered or are suffering from devastating illness, here is David Cook's "Permanent"...
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise
That you'll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change
Even if I tell you I won't go away today
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
And all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary
Rest your head
I'm permanent
I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask, "oh God is there some way
For me to take his place?"
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away
But still you say...
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary
Rest your head
I'm permanent
I'm permanent
Is the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise
That you'll never see me cry...
Here is a link to the lyrics, if you click in the music box on the song's title, it will open up Jango and it will play the song. It is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard....
www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/david_cook/permanent.html
and so I ask, "oh God is there some way for me to take his place..."
Sweet mercy
For Dad, Stephen, Isaiah, Zia, Lynne, Bijan...and like Heidi says "everyone", who have suffered or are suffering from devastating illness, here is David Cook's "Permanent"...
Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise
That you'll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change
Even if I tell you I won't go away today
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
And all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary
Rest your head
I'm permanent
I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask, "oh God is there some way
For me to take his place?"
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away
But still you say...
Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary
Rest your head
I'm permanent
I'm permanent
Is the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise
That you'll never see me cry...
Here is a link to the lyrics, if you click in the music box on the song's title, it will open up Jango and it will play the song. It is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard....
www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/david_cook/permanent.html
and so I ask, "oh God is there some way for me to take his place..."
Sweet mercy
And I believe in you
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
-
duchess of malfi
- The Gap Into Spam
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One of the great treasures of the Watch. 
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Furls Fire
- Lord
- Posts: 4872
- Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2003 10:35 am
- Location: Heaven
Well, hehe...it was for awhile. Life happens, and keeps me away from here it seems more and more often. Things are calming down a bit. Mom is out of the hospital...finally...and doing okay. Russell has pnuemonia, so he's flat on his back, he's not used to being sick so he's whining quite a bit. Imani, Naeem, Ayize, Stevie and Meggie all have the chicken pox..so much for the CP immunization...HA! It doesn't work! At least it doesn't work on MY kids...hehehe.
Anyway, hope all the Mothers here at the Watch had a great mother's day!
And I'll post another entry in a few days, I think...
Anyway, hope all the Mothers here at the Watch had a great mother's day!
And I'll post another entry in a few days, I think...
And I believe in you
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
-
Fist and Faith
- Magister Vitae
- Posts: 25450
- Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2002 8:14 pm
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Furls Fire
- Lord
- Posts: 4872
- Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2003 10:35 am
- Location: Heaven
Heh...close. Julie and Chris are here also, helping with Mom. Julie has to go home this weekend, and Matthew will be arriving on Monday. Sooooooo, there are 17 people in the house right now...hehehe.
It's always nutty around here, in fact, if it ever wasn't nutty I honestly wouldn't know what to do with myself...LOL!!
It's always nutty around here, in fact, if it ever wasn't nutty I honestly wouldn't know what to do with myself...LOL!!
And I believe in you
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.
altho you never asked me too
I will remember you
and what life put you thru.
~fly fly little wing, fly where only angels sing~
~this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you~
...for then I could fly away and be at rest. Sweet rest, Mom. We all love and miss you.