The Velociraptor Apocalypse: Are You Prepared?
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The Velociraptor Apocalypse: Are You Prepared?
Velociraptor attack is the 3rd leading cause of death for men age 27-29. However, everyone must think about the implications of velociraptors: young and old, men, women and transgendered persons.
The American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention is a bi-partisan group of professionals, dedicated to the diffusion of knowledge concerning velociraptor attack prevention.
Know the Enemy
The velociraptor is a bipedal carnivore with a long, stiffened tail and can be distinguished from other dromaeosaurids by its long and low skull, with an upturned snout. It bores a relatively large, sickle-shaped claw, typical of dromaeosaurid and troodontid dinosaurs. This enlarged claw, up to 67 millimeters (2.6 in) long around its outer edge, is a predatory device, used to tear into the prey, delivering a fatal blow.
Velociraptors are commonly found on tropical islands, converted to millionarie amusement parks, but are commonly being sighted in the Pacific Northwest. Of the essential facts you should know about velociraptors:
Velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around its prey.
Velociraptors can accelerate 4 m/s2, with a top speed of 25 m/s on open terrain, 10 m/s while wounded, and 10 m/s in indoor labratories.
Velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. They can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.
Velociraptors do not know fear.
New Home Buyer Tips
When buying a new home, there are a few things to look out for when assessing potential velociraptor attacks:
Check all doors and windows. Doors should be made of solid oak or steel. Windows should have steel bars with spacing smaller than the average raptor.
Make sure all entryways have adequate deadbolts. Quality deadbolts may be purchased at your local Home Depot.
Always keep a loaded big-game rifle under your bed, and tire irons near every door. Remember, you should never be farther than 20 feet away from a tire iron.
More info at:
antoniofarinha.com/blog/2009/04/18/velociraptor-awareness/
www.velociraptors.info
www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?t=3107959
peoplewearclothes.wordpress.com/2009/04/18/velociraptor-awareness/
Constant vigilance, kids. Constant.
The American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention is a bi-partisan group of professionals, dedicated to the diffusion of knowledge concerning velociraptor attack prevention.
Know the Enemy
The velociraptor is a bipedal carnivore with a long, stiffened tail and can be distinguished from other dromaeosaurids by its long and low skull, with an upturned snout. It bores a relatively large, sickle-shaped claw, typical of dromaeosaurid and troodontid dinosaurs. This enlarged claw, up to 67 millimeters (2.6 in) long around its outer edge, is a predatory device, used to tear into the prey, delivering a fatal blow.
Velociraptors are commonly found on tropical islands, converted to millionarie amusement parks, but are commonly being sighted in the Pacific Northwest. Of the essential facts you should know about velociraptors:
Velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around its prey.
Velociraptors can accelerate 4 m/s2, with a top speed of 25 m/s on open terrain, 10 m/s while wounded, and 10 m/s in indoor labratories.
Velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. They can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.
Velociraptors do not know fear.
New Home Buyer Tips
When buying a new home, there are a few things to look out for when assessing potential velociraptor attacks:
Check all doors and windows. Doors should be made of solid oak or steel. Windows should have steel bars with spacing smaller than the average raptor.
Make sure all entryways have adequate deadbolts. Quality deadbolts may be purchased at your local Home Depot.
Always keep a loaded big-game rifle under your bed, and tire irons near every door. Remember, you should never be farther than 20 feet away from a tire iron.
More info at:
antoniofarinha.com/blog/2009/04/18/velociraptor-awareness/
www.velociraptors.info
www.pbnation.com/showthread.php?t=3107959
peoplewearclothes.wordpress.com/2009/04/18/velociraptor-awareness/
Constant vigilance, kids. Constant.
- High Lord Tolkien
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Since I'm already prepared for the soon to be Zombie Apocalypse I think all I have to do is add a more powerful round to my inventory.
Zombies, Velociraptors, Global Warming........none of it matters.
SHARKS are going to kill us all anyway.
kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic ... ght=sharks
Zombies, Velociraptors, Global Warming........none of it matters.
SHARKS are going to kill us all anyway.
kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic ... ght=sharks
https://thoolah.blogspot.com/
[Defeated by a gizmo from Batman's utility belt]
Joker: I swear by all that's funny never to be taken in by that unconstitutional device again!
[Defeated by a gizmo from Batman's utility belt]
Joker: I swear by all that's funny never to be taken in by that unconstitutional device again!
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ORM NORM NORM!!!High Lord Tolkien wrote:kevinswatch.ihugny.com/phpBB2/viewtopic ... ght=sharks
Imagine if you will, that mutha, only as a ZOMBIE, and able to FLY...
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Re: The Velociraptor Apocalypse: Are You Prepared?
The Pacific Northwest? Whew, then I'm safe for now.Reisheiruhime wrote:Velociraptors are commonly found on tropical islands, converted to millionarie amusement parks, but are commonly being sighted in the Pacific Northwest.
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Since I own, and know how to use rifle, shotgun, sword, spear, and MOST importantly can run 1m/s faster than my tenants and neighbors, I feel safe.
[spoiler]Sig-man, Libtard, Stupid piece of shit. change your text color to brown. Mr. Reliable, bullshit-slinging liarFucker-user.[/spoiler]
the difference between evidence and sources: whether they come from the horse's mouth or a horse's ass.
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
the hyperbole is a beauty...for we are then allowed to say a little more than the truth...and language is more efficient when it goes beyond reality than when it stops short of it.
the difference between evidence and sources: whether they come from the horse's mouth or a horse's ass.
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
the hyperbole is a beauty...for we are then allowed to say a little more than the truth...and language is more efficient when it goes beyond reality than when it stops short of it.
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Looking at his Phoogle Map location reveals another reason Vraith has little cause for concern.
Love prevails.
~ Tracie Mckinney-Hammon
Change is not a process for the impatient.
~ Barbara Reinhold
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always count on the support of Paul.
~ George Bernard Shaw
~ Tracie Mckinney-Hammon
Change is not a process for the impatient.
~ Barbara Reinhold
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always count on the support of Paul.
~ George Bernard Shaw
Breaking news
20 minutes ago the VAA, or Velociraptor Apocalypse Army, announced a "complete cessation of military operations". The statement has been greeted by widespread celebrations across the globe. However, senior officials at the UN remain skeptical pointing out that there has been no explicit promise that the truce will be a permanent one.
More to follow...
More to follow...
It'd take you a long time to blow up or shoot all the sheep in this country, but one diseased banana...could kill 'em all.
I didn't even know sheep ate bananas.
I didn't even know sheep ate bananas.