How do you feel today?

Post by **drew** » Sat Oct 03, 2009 10:58 pm

I'm doing good.
Have my boys with me all weekend.

Had a smile on my face all day.

Post by **CovenantJr** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:57 am

I fear I'm about to start a war in my house.

I have two male housemates, Kieren and Chris. Chris has, in the past, said some less than kind things about Kieren's girlfriend, spurred mainly by his envy that Kieren 'got' the girl he wanted. This led to the only major argument Chris and Kieren have had (and when I say 'argument', I mean Kieren ripped Chris apart and Chris begged for forgiveness). Around July/August sort of time, when Chris was living with his mother and brother for the summer (being a student) I went to visit, and while drunk he told me something spiteful and clearly a lie about Kieren's girlfriend and, specifically, her fidelity. Knowing Chris, I doubt I'm the only person he's said this to.

Since we all have to live together until at least June, I've been keeping quiet. I believe Kieren needs to be told what Chris is saying about Jennie (who, incidentally, is a lovely girl and has never done any harm to Chris) but I don't want to make things difficult in the house, particularly since this year will be stressful for all of us anyway. We're all in the final year of our respective degrees, so there's a lot of work coming our way. Essentially, I buried my head in the sand; I ignored the problem of how to handle what I'd been told, and hoped it'd go away.

Now, though, Chris has crossed a line with me. A few months back, he told a room full of strangers (and a handful of vague acquaintances who don't know him well enough to see through him) some truly unpleasant lies about his ex-girlfriend's father. I'm passably friendly with said ex-girlfriend (I didn't know either of them when they were together, and kind of ended up befriending them both in parallel, independently of one another) and mentioned this to her. She gave Chris a verbal roasting over the phone the next day, and he knows she found out from me. Tonight he tried to tell me to my face, as though it's a cool thing that I should be impressed by, that he manipulated me - that he lied about her father so I'd tell her, and she'd stop speaking to him. I'm not going to go into the reasons why this isn't true - there are too many; you'll just have to trust me that it's a transparent falsehood.

Chris is losing the plot. Not only does he have so little respect for me that he'll lie to my face, and not only will he lie to my face about something I actually witnessed, he will now actually try to claim he used me to get back at his ex and expect me to be impressed. He makes me sick.

So...now I feel the answer I've been waiting for about the Kieren matter has slapped me in the face. I just come out and tell him. I no longer have any desire to spare Chris the consequences of his actions. I keep having second thoughts because I don't want to make Kieren's life miserable, and I don't want to make our other housemate (a pleasant enough stranger who's only been here a couple of weeks) uncomfortable, but Chris is just getting worse and worse. He's out of control.

I have to start a war and possibly ruin months of a good man's (and good friend's) life. I really don't feel up to the task.

Post by **danlo** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:51 am

I'm in no position to give advice at the moment, but it sounds like you're in need of a song!

Post by **aliantha** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:04 am

Jeez, CovJr, that's as much drama as in your average girls' dorm. Sorry you're going through it. But yeah, Chris sounds like a total jerk. What about pulling Chris aside and saying to him, "You're out of control and I'm not going to cover for you any more -- either you tell Kieren what you said, or I will"?

Stonemaybe: Are you going to keep us dangling? Why *did* the Mexican throw his wife off the cliff?

As for me, I survived the ex-husband's wedding reception today, despite having to sit at a table with my ex-mother-in-law and ex-aunt-in-law. Everyone was civil.

I also got to see a nephew who I haven't seen in years. I have pictures of him at *my* wedding reception in a bouncy chair; now he's a lieutenant j.g. in the Navy.

I amused myself by taking pictures of the happy couple with my camera phone and sending them to Batty and Magickmaker.

Post by **CovenantJr** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:23 am

aliantha wrote:Jeez, CovJr, that's as much drama as in your average girls' dorm. Sorry you're going through it. But yeah, Chris sounds like a total jerk. What about pulling Chris aside and saying to him, "You're out of control and I'm not going to cover for you any more -- either you tell Kieren what you said, or I will"?

Yeah, I considered that. The problem is, compulsive liar that he is, I don't know what he'd actually say to Kieren about it. The only way I can be sure Kieren will get the truth is for me to do it myself. And that's all assuming Chris would even agree to confess, which is unlikely. He's becoming increasingly sociopathic - I'm never entirely sure whether he convinces himself his lies are true.

For instance, when he was telling me tonight his version of the thing with his ex, he claimed that he'd always intended for me to report his lie, knowing that I'd know it wasn't true, thereby causing her to permanently cut him off. He seems to have forgotten that I was in the room when she called him to confront him about it, and I heard him whimpering apologies and saying it was meant as a joke. Despite the fact that I was there, he's now giving me a completely different version of events from the ones that actually happened. He's lost it; I'm beginning to wonder if he even knows what's real.

In any case, he's clearly not a real friend to anyone in his life. No-one is too good to be betrayed by him.

If I was in Kieren's shoes, I'd want to be told - and the sooner the better.

(In case anyone's curious, the lies in question are these:

1] About Mykaela, his ex-girlfriend: that her father has two murder convictions, and has done time for both of them. (In reality, her father has no convictions for anything as far as I'm aware.)

2] About Jennie, Kieren's girlfriend: that she told Chris she wants to 'play the field' (a phrase Jennie would never use) before she settles down with Kieren, with strong implications that Chris is to be among her wild oats. He tried to swear me to secrecy about this, on the basis that it would hurt Kieren to find out what Jennie's really like. Of course, the real reason for the secrecy is because Kieren would be quite justified in throwing some punches over his 'good friend' casting entirely fabricated aspersions about Jennie's fidelity.

And these are just two of the many, many lies. The man has a problem. 80% of everything he says is a lie, and many of the lies contradict other lies.)

Post by **aliantha** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:27 am

Yeah, I think you're right that Chris is creating the reality he wishes he had. Too bad. I'm sorry.

Post by **CovenantJr** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:35 am

Yeah. Bad stuff. He's been an exaggerator for as long as I've known him, but he's hit a new low. It's too bad; he used to be a nice guy.

So now I have to face the probability that Chris will be completely cut off from Kieren and Jennie, which, by extension, also robs him of most of his social circle (since most of his 'friends' are people he knows through Kieren, and several of his 'closest friends' actually live with Jennie). Of course, Chris will then probably cut himself off from me and spread various spiteful lies about me to the rest of the History students. I don't care about losing him as a friend, since he's clearly no friend anyway, but I hate the idea of him spreading lies to people who don't know any better.

Hmm.

Post by **danlo** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:49 am

I've dealt with such before: if you can't shake sense into him---put him on the next bus.

Post by **CovenantJr** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:51 am

Agreed. But whatever happens, the three of us will be sharing a house until June. 'May you live in interesting times', as Terry Pratchett wrote.

Post by **Avatar** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 7:10 am

Sounds like fun Cj.

StoneMaybe wrote:Sounds like you're gonna have fun, Phantasm! I would've thought next summer would have been a more appropriate time to visit relatives in SA though?

Why? It's summer here now. (And winter weather in the Cape is really lousy.)

--A

Post by **stonemaybe** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:39 am

Football, Av! I know Phantasm's a fan.

Post by **CovenantJr** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:22 am

Well, the deed is done.* I've informed Kieren of Chris' backstabbing. When I left him a few minutes ago, he was actually trembling with rage. He's getting out of the house for the day because if he sees Chris he's going to punch him. When his lectures are done for the week, he's going to stay with his parents for a few days. I feel bad for him, not just because of the malicious actions of his supposed friend, but because he's prone to stress and panic attacks at the best of times. Still, I'm kind of glad I don't have to bear the secret anymore, even if it makes everyone's life harder.

*as an amusing aside, those exact words are the way my friend's priest concluded her wedding.

Post by **matrixman** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:26 pm

Sorry to hear you're caught in this situation, CJ. If Chris is as wrongheaded and sociopathic as he seems to be, then is it possible he could turn violent?

Post by **CovenantJr** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:39 pm

It's possible, but experience seems to suggest that Chris finds both Kieren and me too intimidating to fight. He's more likely to try and weasel out of it, I think.

Post by **Avatar** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 7:26 pm

Well, here's hoping it turns out for the best. Things usually do, one way or another.

--A

Post by **Seareach** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 8:32 pm

SoS back to school today after two weeks vacation.

House all to myself.

Time for a whole lot of mischief.

To all three, a big fat:

WACKO!!!

Post by **StevieG** » Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:52 am

Wow, a lot has happened since I last visited this thread! CovJr has a real life drama - I hope it turns out ok. Aliantha goes to ex's wedding - must have been a hoot, it sounds like you made the best of it. Avatar doesn't realise football world cup is on in SA next summer

(I'm sure you do actually, but just don't care, right?

). Drew, Seareach, Auleliel, Phantasm, Wyldewode, Stonemaybe....

Anyway, on to me

I'm more than a bit disappointed and embarrassed. I borrowed the 1st and 2nd Chronicles from my mum's house to reread, and had them in a plastic bag beside my bed. Last week we had new carpet put in our bedroom and so cleaned up the room in preparation. My wife put a number of things, including the Covenant books in the bin beside the bed to move to the other room - for transport only, but of course it was rubbish night and I emptied the contents of said bin into the rubbish for collection.

I only realised to my horror yesterday that I had done this, so both chronicles are now on the tip

I'll buy another copy, but these were the ones with Kevin's Watch on the cover, my favourite covers - and they had been lovingly handed around over the years to various family members.

I'm crushed.

YouTube · Post by **Menolly** » Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:05 am

StevieG wrote:I'm more than a bit disappointed and embarrassed. I borrowed the 1st and 2nd Chronicles from my mum's house to reread, and had them in a plastic bag beside my bed. Last week we had new carpet put in our bedroom and so cleaned up the room in preparation. My wife put a number of things, including the Covenant books in the bin beside the bed to move to the other room - for transport only, but of course it was rubbish night and I emptied the contents of said bin into the rubbish for collection.

I only realised to my horror yesterday that I had done this, so both chronicles are now on the tip

I'll buy another copy, but these were the ones with Kevin's Watch on the cover, my favourite covers - and they had been lovingly handed around over the years to various family members.

I'm crushed.

Ouch and *wince*

Post by **Seareach** » Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:31 am

StevieG...yeah, that'd hurt!

And, Covy, I should have said before it sucks you're in that situation. Hope it gets better soon.

As for me: tick-tick-tick-TICKETY-BOO!

Bad, BAD, BAD Sea

....

Post by **Auleliel** » Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:47 am

StevieG wrote:I'm more than a bit disappointed and embarrassed. I borrowed the 1st and 2nd Chronicles from my mum's house to reread, and had them in a plastic bag beside my bed. Last week we had new carpet put in our bedroom and so cleaned up the room in preparation. My wife put a number of things, including the Covenant books in the bin beside the bed to move to the other room - for transport only, but of course it was rubbish night and I emptied the contents of said bin into the rubbish for collection.

I only realised to my horror yesterday that I had done this, so both chronicles are now on the tip

I'll buy another copy, but these were the ones with Kevin's Watch on the cover, my favourite covers - and they had been lovingly handed around over the years to various family members.

I'm crushed.

I did the same thing with my mom's important papers for work two weeks ago. She had them in a bag in the car, and usually papers in a bag in the car = trash. It doesn't help that she's having problems with the management right now (one of the higher-ups is a real @$$hole).