This is a difficult book to read. I laugh for ten minutes, read for five, laugh for ten...
"Now, brother, you happen to be the most eligible Beddict - legitimately eligible, I mean - so why not cast wide your amorous net? Even if, by some peculiar quirk on your part, the Adjunct is not to your tastes, there is always her aide - what was that foreign sounding name again, Bugg?"
"Blistig."
Tehol frowned. "Really?"
A server arrived, a man older than a Jaghut's stockings, and the next few moments were spent shouting at the deaf codger - fruitlessly - until Ebron stumbled on to the bright notion of pointing at Deadsmell's plate and goblet and showing two fingers.
As the man set off, wilful as a snail,...
...
No one spoke for a time. The server approached with a heavy tray. It was like watching the tide come in.
"Just how nasty is he?" Ebron asked Bottle.
"Quick? Well, he gave a dragon a bloody nose."
"A real dragon or a Soletaken dragon?"
"It makes no difference, Ebron - you pretty much can't tell just from looking at them. You'll only know a Soletaken when it veers. Anyway, don't forget, he faced down the Edur mages once we quit Seven Cities."
"That was illusion."
"Ebron, I was in on that - a lot closer than you. Sure, maybe it was illusion, but maybe not." He paused, then said, "That's another thing to consider. The local mages. They used raw sorcery, pretty much Chaotic and nothing else. No warrens. But now there's warrens here. The local mages are in worse shape than we are."
"I still don't like the idea of some kind of collective ritual," Deadsmell said. "When you're under siege you don't pop your head up over the parapet, do you? Unless you want feather eyelashes."
"Well, Fiddler went and did just that with the reading, didn't he? Nobody died -"
"Rubbish. A whole building went crashing down!"
"Nothing new there, Ebron. This whole city is on shaky ground."
"People died, is what I'm telling you, Bottle. And if that's not bad enough, there were plenty of witnesses claiming to see two dragns rise out of the rubble." He ducked his head and looked round. "I don't like dragons. I don't like places where dragons show up all the time. Say we try some ritual - what if fifty dragons come blasting down out of the sky, splatting right on top of us? What then, hey?"
"Well, I don't know, Ebron. It depends. I mean, are they real or Soletaken?"
"Nep Furrow, I need a curse."
"Eh? Geen way! Groblet! Coo!"
"Captain Kindly. I was thinking hives, the real itchy kind. No, wait, that'll just make him even meaner. Make him cross-eyed - but not so he notices, just everyone else. Can you do that, Nep?"
"War butt wod i'meen, eh?"
"How about a massage?"
"Kissands?"
"My very own, yes."
"Urble ong eh? Urble ong?"
"Bell to bell, Nep."
"Nikked?"
"Who, you or me?"
"Bat!"
"Fine, but we'll need to rent a room, unless of course you want an audience?"
I can't stand it!!! "Bat!"

"You have no understanding of what his title of Sword signifies - he is without equal in this world." -- K'rul