I have this thing where I believe that at it's top end, eating a meal can match the sensory experience of say seeing a Mozart opera, reading a Shakespear play or viewing a Picasso or a Monet. All of these can lead to experiences of the sublime, and in my view the gastronomic experience is of no less value [bad word] than the others.
It's not easy to experience the 'perfect meal' [I've never suceeded yet], but the first thing [for me at least and next to the actual food quality] is the amont of food and the way it is presented. I think if you can't make a selection from each section of the menue [and any selection] ie starter, main course and dessert, and eat all of each one and still have room for the remainder of the courses, then they have got it wrong. Nothing is worse to me thn having a shovell full of food that I could prepare better myself, so rule 1. is that quantity does not equall quality. What you want is small courses perfectly presented.
Next thing is the taste. If it looks perfect on the plate - then it has to exeed this in the effect of putting it in your mouth. It's got to be good, good, good - and just to make things even harder, every course has to be better than the last. The dessert must be a triumphant finale. Too many flavours on a plate is a hard trick to pull off - and so is too few. Both can be done - but rarely so [I'm reminded of the London Chef who, when told his food was both fantastic and simple, answered drily that it should be; it took ten chef's twelve hours a day to get it that simple.] Next comes timing; too long between courses and it get's difficult to maintain the easy flow of the meal, too short and you feel rushed. Again this is really hard to pull off, but a gap of about 5 minutes (ish) between dishes is about right.
Now to the staff themselves. They should be pretty much invisible. They are there to help choose, to advise where asked, to attend to additional requests as they come - but they are a necessary evil, no more. They are not part of the meal and the moment their presence becomes intrusive above the point that is signalled by the dinners the relaxing effect of the meal is lost. The staff must be able to read these signals and respond to them. What suits one table will not please another. Polite distance is by far the best tactic and much easier to get right than familiarity. They should always be near when wanted, but never over-present or 'in your lap'.
Decor is a thing thats pretty much a personal taste but it helps if the decor of the restaurant fits with the type of food being served. The company you keep in enjoying your perfect meal is entierly your own responsibility - I only ever eat in the presence of my wife and step-daughter [on the same table]. Drink appropriate wines for the food you are eating and not to excess [one wine type rarely fits all courses of a fine dinning meal] and be prepared to 'spring' for a flight of wines in the best places. Dress in accordance with the type of place you are eating in - it shows respect for the house and it's efforts to provide you with a superlative dinning experience. You should have time [and space] to relax over a coffe or a digestif before leaving the restaurant satisfied but not stuffed. Paying the cheque should never be 'haggled' over between dinners - do the division afterwards away from the venue - and on the restaurants part should be made easy for the customer with respect to requesting and paying the bill [It has to be done but shouldn't interfere with the two hours spent achieving a trancendental sensation of 'all rightness' with the world.]
It's a rare thing when nearly all of the elements that make up the perfect dinning experience come together at the same time, but when it happens you know it. You will always leave the restaurant feeling that you have just experienced the 'best dinning experience of your life' and given that we eat three meals a day for seventy years thats a feeling worth paying for!
