Small Acts

[soft one]

Was at the grocery store today and this woman dropped a $50 bill without realizing it. I pointed it out to her, and she didn't even seem that thankful. Jeez.

I'm not sure if that should go here, or in the Pet Peeves thread.

Also, I gave directions to a lady at the gas station.

A similar experience happened with me about 5 yrs ago or so. My family was visiting my parents, and my wife and I decided to go furniture shopping at JCPenney, where I used to work while in college. We looked around, and back in one of the display rooms, I found someone's checkbook... with a BLANK CHECK FILLED OUT FOR $3000!!! I ran into an employee I knew from when I used to work there, so I gave the checkbook to her so she could contact the people. Now, I wasn't expecting anything at all, and that's exactly what I got.

Like you said, I'm not sure if this is a Pet Peeve or an Act of Kindness, but it certainly was disappointing to know I saved someone from losing $3000 and they didn't have the common courtesy to at least call and say 'thank you'.

[CovenantJr]

I'm not sure what this is a small act of, but it's certainly a small act.

Anyone who's seen my Facebook today will know I've just tracked down a song I love but haven't been able to listen to in years because I didn't know what it was called. Bear with me; I'm getting to the relevance.

This song was originally given to me on home-copied minidisc (hence the lack of title) by my first girlfriend. For the last few months I've been occasionally troubled by the tone of our last exchange. We agreed to part as friends, then drifted apart. After a year or two, she emailed me and said she'd found some mementoes from me, and wondered how I was. I emailed back very rudely, maybe even viciously. In order to get over her, I'd decided to hate her...and never returned to reason once the job was done.

So I've tried a few times to locate her online. She's closed down her email address and MySpace page. It seems almost like fate, though (if I believed in such a thing): today, when I finally find the title of the song and listen to it for the first time in years, I also manage to input just the right words into Facebook search, and there she is.

So I apologised. Rather lamely and weakly, perhaps, but I did it. Maybe she'll tell me where to go. Maybe she will be completely indifferent and not reply at all. Who knows? But I did my best to go back and try to correct a misdeed in my past. I've made peace with a small part of myself.

That's a long-winded story, and very boring for anyone who isn't me. But I'm surprisingly emotional about it. Thanks for listening.

[balon!]

That was a good thing, Cov. I'm a believer that that there is never a too late, as long as there is honesty.

[CovenantJr]

Thanks. I got a reply. It was essentially 'Er...are you drunk?' Then she mocked my beard. She hasn't changed.

[aliantha]

So your initial reaction was correct. Congrats on being validated! But I agree with Balon -- it was good to make the effort to apologize.

[CovenantJr]

I'm glad I did it, and we've had a pleasant enough 'here's what I've been up to' exchange of messages. It was important to me to say I regret my actions, even if it means nothing to her. After five years, I didn't for a moment think it would have impacted her life in any meaningful way, but I agree with Balon - I think it's worth saying I'm sorry for a mistake, however long it's taken, and whether it matters or not.

[High Lord Tolkien]

Yesterday I was exiting a store and saw a old woman walking across the parking lot to come in.
But she was beyond that range of distance where it's normal to hold the door open for.
It would have only required a handful of seconds of my time to stay and keep the door open.
I choose not to though and let the door close behind me and then walked to my car.

[CovenantJr]

I'm glad I did it, and we've had a pleasant enough 'here's what I've been up to' exchange of messages. It was important to me to say I regret my actions, even if it means nothing to her. After five years, I didn't for a moment think it would have impacted her life in any meaningful way, but I agree with Balon - I think it's worth saying I'm sorry for a mistake, however long it's taken, and whether it matters or not.

Now we've reached the point of "Erm...we decided we were going to stay friends but didn't manage it. We're probably capable of it now, but have we changed too much? Has it been too long? Do we even want to?"

Weirdness. Still, the job's done and I'm glad.

[Cagliostro]

From my experience, the little bitternesses still come up now and again.

Such as today when I get an email from my ex-fiance and she is showing off her brother's kid. Granted, I did sent pictures of Desmond as if to say "look how cute my kid is...look what you could have had..." (to a small degree). But now it is feeling like she is competing using her nephew, and giving all kinds of tips about childrearing that she is only getting secondhand from her brother. So I guess I need to stop corresponding for a time again. We are generally friendly nowadays, but there are still those little stinging moments, especially since when we broke up she said she didn't think I'd be a good father, but since I told her about Desmond she has been saying I'd make such a good father. PAH!

Sorry, now my hackles are up. Thanks CovJr....

[CovenantJr]

Perhaps you should carry out a small act of retribution against me. Poke me in the eye, or be in the bathroom when I go in, or something like that.

Seriously, though. You have a better woman and a supremely cute son, and you're going to be a good father with or without your ex-fiancee's agreement.

[Cagliostro]

Okay, fine. I'm going overseas now to hide in bathrooms until you find me in one. I just hope you find me before George Michael does.

Seriously, though. You have a better woman and a supremely cute son, and you're going to be a good father with or without your ex-fiancee's agreement.

True dat. DOUBLE TRUE!

[Vraith]

I asked how to join THOOOTP, and Menolly linked me to this thread.

People are so kind and generous.
And, BTW, if you google "THOOOTP" you end up here, too.

We really are all connected.

[lorin]

I like this thread!

My small act is also an embarrassing act that happened many years ago. I was living in a small apartment in the Bronx and finally got enough money/credit to buy an air conditioner. Being the princess I am I bought some super duper airconditioner that cost a gazillion bucks. Anyway, anyone that has lived in an apartment knows that pigeons love airconditioners. Well my father designed some kind of bed of nails that would keep the pigeons from sitting on the AC and cooing all the time. It had long and short nails and all kinds of uncomfortable things. So when the airconditioner was installed I gave the guy a few extra bucks to fasten on the bed of nails to the top of the AC. You cant very well leave it loose . a good wind and someone six floors down would get impaled. Well......... instead of discouraging the pigeons they LOVED it. Immediately some bird claimed it and began building a nest intwined in the nails. I had never seen a baby pigeon. For some reason the only ones I had ever seen were adults. Some the pigeon layed the egg and I used to peak through the blind and watch her sitting on the egg. Apparently there are couples and they would switch off. One day I peaked out of the blind and there was a tiny baby pigeon! I thought it was so cool. I watched it every day and I was literally a foot away. One morning I looked out and the baby was gone. Apparently it had fallen out of the nest. The parents were gone. And I thought that was that. But a week later the female was back sitting on a new egg. Anyway, a new baby was born. And I watched as it grew. But here was the problem. My lease was ending and I was moving. Every day I would peak out the blind and watch the baby getting bigger and bigger. I would watch it flap and try and fly. The day the movers came I peaked out and the baby was still there, not ready to leave the nest. But the bed of nails was attached to my 4 month old Fedders 15000 btu AC! The apartment was empty and the baby sat happily on my AC!!!! The movers looked at me like I was out of my mind. I did not know what to do?@! How could I throw the baby and the nest off the bed of nails. I just couldnt do it. So on that day, I moved the guts of the AC, leaving the baby planted happily on the shell of my 900 dollar AC.

I spent the next three months looking to buy an new casing for the AC but never did find one. Threw it out the next summer.

[deer of the dawn]

Sooo,.... (not having read any previous pages) is it Small Acts of Random Posting??

[peter]

Yesterday in the shop my boss found a very dirty and old [once] white toy kitten. About big enough to sit on the palm of your hand it had been in the reductions basket by the till for a day or two and she fished it out, tossed it over to me and said "Throw this away - nobody's coming back for it now." Something inside me wasn't comfortable with the casual discarding of a toy that had [once at least] been loved, so I stuffed it into a drawer instead. Sure enough an hour later a guy turned up looking for it - his daughter had been dismayed by it's loss and he had been searching for it by retracing his steps. It's a small thing, but I was happy to have been instrumental in at least one good event over the course of the day.

[lorin]

Yesterday in the shop my boss found a very dirty and old [once] white toy kitten. About big enough to sit on the palm of your hand it had been in the reductions basket by the till for a day or two and she fished it out, tossed it over to me and said "Throw this away - nobody's coming back for it now." Something inside me wasn't comfortable with the casual discarding of a toy that had [once at least] been loved, so I stuffed it into a drawer instead. Sure enough an hour later a guy turned up looking for it - his daughter had been dismayed by it's loss and he had been searching for it by retracing his steps. It's a small thing, but I was happy to have been instrumental in at least one good event over the course of the day.

Now THAT is a lovely story.


I brought my leftover tomatoes and peppers from my garden to a group called....wait for it...Long Island Food Not Bombs. Nobody wanted them. If it had been chips or cup cakes they would have been snatched up before they hit the table.

[peter]

Yes Lorrin - reduced price veg we discard into the waste in large quantities. Short date crisps and chocolate fly out. That sweet addiction thing is inside us big time (though few things are as beautifully sweet as a large pepper doused in garlic oil and oven roasted for an hour or so!)

[Hashi Lebwohl]

We would have gladly taken the tomatoes and peppers. Peter is correct--that sounds delicious.

[peter]

I never quite understand the sweet addiction thing. I know chocolate is supposed to cause release of serotonin [the happy hormone?], and I'm guessing that evolution would 'hardwire' into us that if [as wandering hunter gatherer's] we came across a honey-comb, the only naturally available source of sugar in quantity, it would be too valuable a find to leave behind and so we would eat as much of it as physically possible [could your insulin production cope with this?] - but do these things explain why we will eat sugary foodstuffs to the point of dangerous obesity and in the clear knowledge of the risks it poses to our very lives?

Or alternatively, is the sugar addiction just another manifestation [an avatar if you like] of a single psychological/psychiatric condition that encompasses all forms of adictive behavior?

[Avatar]

Or alternatively, is the sugar addiction just another manifestation [an avatar if you like] of a single psychological/psychiatric condition that encompasses all forms of addictive behavior?

Quite possibly. Certainly addiction can be transferred.

--A