ADHD

[michaelm]

It's odd timing that I looked at and posted in the depression thread, as there has been a strange turn of events since my last session with my therapist yesterday.

I was talking about how I so often have so many things going on in my mind sometimes and when I'm under stress I have trouble pulling it all together. She asked if she could do an assessment, and when she finished she told me that it was an ADHD assessment and that I fall in the area of probably having ADHD to some extent, but that I should get a full assessment to properly diagnose it.

She had said that she noticed a few things and that it just came to her that she was seeing a few symptoms for which ADHD could be responsible - racing thoughts, constantly moving my hands and feet when sitting down, a previous therapist telling me that I showed symptoms of 'cognitive slippage'.

Now I have the details of a clinic that specializes in ADHD, so at some point I should probably make an appointment. I'm not sure if it impacts my life in any way now, but when reading about it I can explain some of the things that I do, and the questions in the assessment were oddly all about the way I approach certain things in life.

Just wondering if this is something that anyone else lives with? I don't know that this is life changing for me in any way as I don't ever remember being any different. It's not something that interferes with my day to day life in any way, and I'm not sure that I want to change any of the things that I do just because I have heard this as a potential diagnosis.

[Linna Heartbooger]

With relation to this, you were saying on PM:

I was being asked about whether I procrastinate, if I avoid doing things I don't like, if I make lots of mistakes when I'm doing things I don't like, if I prioritize tasks by things I like, if I find myself talking at length non-stop about certain things, if I find that my conversation drifts off at tangents - all things I do.

And I was thinking, "Wait, doesn't everyone doe that?"
Maybe I do that very very excessively.

Oh well, time to begin working on tax stuff. (?)

[michaelm]

Maybe everyone does to some extent, but I think the point that was made to me was that all of these things run my life. I just don't do some things for no good reason other than I did somethign else that I liked better. I procrastinate at work to the extent that I do everything rushed in the last few minutes or just figure out how to not do it at all.

When I was a kid at school they thought I had hearing loss as people would talk to me and I wouldn't answer, but my hearing was perfect. I thought about that the other day and wondered if that was anything to do with this. I used to always get into trouble for not paying attention, but was lucky enough to do well academically.

To me it kind of all adds up but I never really thought that ADHD was something that was me.

My procrastination is horrible though, and I haven't even done anything to check out the contacts I've been given to get the assessment. If I didn't use calendars I would never know what I was doing and be late for more things that I'm already late for.

I'm just not good at doing so many things that I really can be good at doing if I put my mind to it.

I'll probably get the assessment done and see what comes out of it.

[Avatar]

Haha, I'm something of a champion procrastinator myself...

--A

[Hashi Lebwohl]

I keep meaning to procrastinate more but I just can't find the time. I'll get around to it this year, though, I promise.

[michaelm]

Well it's not just the procrastination, it's a lot of other things too.

Going to make the phone call today and set up something to get the assessment.

[aliantha]

Good luck, michaelm!

And yeah, from what I've heard, adult ADHD consists of more than just garden-variety procrastination. It's also not a thing that was even considered decades ago, when a lot of us were in school. So it's not surprising that adults today are looking at this info and going, "Hey, yeah, that might actually explain a lot of things...."

[michaelm]

Good luck, michaelm!

And yeah, from what I've heard, adult ADHD consists of more than just garden-variety procrastination. It's also not a thing that was even considered decades ago, when a lot of us were in school. So it's not surprising that adults today are looking at this info and going, "Hey, yeah, that might actually explain a lot of things...."

Well I'm glad at least one person gets it. Thank you!

[aliantha]

You're welcome.

What's interesting to me is looking around at all the nerdy engineer-types I've run into over the years. Now it's kind of fashionable to consider whether to recast them as being on the autism spectrum -- which is also a thing that school folk never considered decades ago.

[deer of the dawn]

I was in my 30s when I heard a radio program about adults with ADHD. I listened up, thinking "This is going to help me figure out my husband" but when they started listing the characteristics I practically fell over. It was me!!!

It explained so much. But rather than cast it as an excuse, I felt like:

Being a believer, I asked God to help me find ways of overcoming the thing that kept me so scattered so that I could maybe finish something.

(By the way, I had "quiet" ADHD-- more common in girls, who are imho expected to control their impulses more than boys. The hyperactivity was inside although I didn't act it out as much.)

One thing that helped as well was that at the time, I worked as a paperhanger. I went in, I estimated the amount of paper needed and the wall treatment required, gave an estimate, did the job (and I was very, very good at it), cleaned up and got paid. It was clear that planning and organizing worked, so I decided to start doing that with things like running the household and becoming a better guitar player... and it did work. Not overnight, but it still works.

Most of the "wisdom" needed to overcome seems to non-ADHD people like the most obvious common sense. Finish one thing before starting another; remove distractions; establish routines. But to a person with ADHD, they have no idea how to establish a routine or divide a task into steps to make it doable. I went to school to learn paperhanging and was taught the steps and skills. I realized that there were steps and skills I could learn in order to make my mind and my life orderly.

It is still my tendency to leave a trail behind me but I have learned a lot and come a long way. People actually tell me that I am "so" organized.

In my work as a teacher I encounter kids with ADHD, of course. I tell their parents that they need extra help learning to establish routines and finish tasks without becoming distracted. But I also encourage them that ADHD/ADD people have special gifts, that they see the world in a way that is valuable, from a global/wholistic perspective. I am glad that I get what it is like and have that to offer parents.

[michaelm]

Well I'm glad to hear some answers other than people telling me how great they are at procrastinating or how funny this all is to them. I've been thinking about this a lot and don't know how I feel about it yet, which is really why I posted.

As with you, I didn't think it was me and I don't think I've ever really thought there's a problem until a small group of people have really pointed things out. I've ignored it for years, but I just don't seem to get things done that I know I can do, and I forget so many important things or just don't turn up to thing on time for no other reason than I was doing something else.

I don't multitask well and don't really want to - it's too much hard work - I'd rather get one thing done and then move on to the next one, and if I screw up I'll go back and fix it later.

My appointment for the assessment is next Wednesday but I'm really not sure how I think about it. I don't know if it will be good or bad to know or if it will make a difference or if anyone is going to suggest medication.

I'm trying to avoid any kind of self-diagnosis, but it's amazed me since I started reading more about it how much it describes me. Even my relationship with my wife and many of the things that she says to me are things that are described and maybe this is something that will help me figure out how not to be so annoying to her so often when I really don't mean to be.

I think I probably do compensate a lot for many of the things that I do. I organize a lot of things and don't like things in the wrong place after I've done it - I'm sure it's because it makes it so much easier for me to not forget things or get distracted. When things are not in the right place I tidy them up, or move them, or re-order them - it helps me a lot. At work it's harder, but I think I use charm to get people to accept that things are wrong, or late and I'll eventually get them fixed (and I do).

For my entire life I have fixated on things and then moved on to the next one - studying something in detail until I get bored of it or find something more interesting. That too has helped me a lot, and my therapist said that is probably my manifestation of the hyperactive part, or more accurately "hyperfocus", which can be the plus side of ADHD.

Oh well, hopefully I'll know by next week and then I can start doing some more thinking about all of this...

[Avatar]

Humour is just my way of dealing with things. Certainly no disparagement intended.

And when I talk about my procrastination, I mean I procrastinate to the extent that it has actual negative effects on my life. Don't seem to be able to overcome it.

--A

[Vraith]

And when I talk about my procrastination, I mean I procrastinate to the extent that it has actual negative effects on my life.
--A

You might find this hysterical, torturous, and familiar then. There is a part II, this is I.
waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html

[Avatar]

Oh god...naturally it doesn't work quite that way for me, but so much of it is horribly familiar. 25+ page dissertations in a single all-nighter the night before? No problem. Exam tomorrow? I'll read the textbook tonight, no problem.

Hell, even as I type this, I'm supposed to be writing a case study for work due today.

My single saving grace is that my under-performance is at least as good as everybody else's normal performance, and sometimes better. So I get away with it.

I better go.

--A

[Vraith]

I better go.

--A

Oh, god...I just now realized that by posting that link, I likely participated in your procrastination. That's the LAST thing we need---squads of procrastinators enabling each other.
[[[he posted because the meeting happening after lunch today that he wasn't prepared for got put off till Monday. So YAY, plenty of prep time.]]]

[Savor Dam]

...my under-performance is at least as good as everybody else's normal performance, and sometimes better. So I get away with it.

Oy. My career, from the late '70s to present day, in a sound-bite.

After reading the articles Vraith linked, it occurs to me that the things I learned about myself during Arpanet use in the '80s could have predicted the dark side of the "rabbit hole" the internet could become...and how what is now called "social media" quite intentionally exploits that tendency.

[Linna Heartbooger]

FYI, michaelm... I think some of those of us with the joking around... might be in the "I might have ADD or ADHD, but not dealin' with it" boat.

deer, did you say that there were some books you found helpful with all this and/or with getting organized, planning, and following through with plans?

My single saving grace is that my under-performance is at least as good as everybody else's normal performance, and sometimes better. So I get away with it.

I better go.

Oh yeah... not helping, not helping.

[Avatar]

FYI, michaelm... I think some of those of us with the joking around... might be in the "I might have ADD or ADHD, but not dealin' with it" boat.

Nah, I'm plenty focused. Just on the wrong stuff.

Oh, god...I just now realized that by posting that link, I likely participated in your procrastination.

It's all good. Case study finished before deadline and declared brilliant by boss. I work better under pressure anyway.

(Although only because I only work under pressure... ; ) )

--A