If wishes were fishes...

[Linna Heartbooger]

...then what?

The catchy ole phrase, "If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride." has always stuck in my mind.

But... what if wishes were fishes?

[wayfriend]

It's from an old Scottish poem.

• If wishes were horses then beggars would ride,
  If turnips were swords I’d have one by my side.
  If ‘ifs’ and ‘ands’ were pots and pans
  There would be no need for tinker’s hands!

The phrase about fishes is a variation.

The whole expression is: If wishes were fishes we'd all swim in riches.

Although Frank Herbert, in Dune, expressed it as: If wishes were fishes, we'd all cast nets.

And from Firefly: If wishes were horses, we'd all be eating steak. That would be Jayne, of course.

And finally, the perennial favorite, unattributed: And if your aunt had balls, she'd be your uncle.

[Savor Dam]

My flash answer when I saw the thread title in the index (before reading the post) was "plans would rise like loaves."

On reflection, I am not sure how to connect the dots there. Part of it may be the deeply-ingrained program manager paradigm that wishes are ineffective without plans. While I don't recall whether I looked at the thread author, my subconscious is entirely capable of noticing that Linna started the thread...which would also support the mental process of choosing "loaf" as the counterpart to "fish" paralleling the relationship between wish and plan.

It doesn't really hold up under scrutiny, but maybe this free-association will help someone spark a better response.

Or maybe it really is a half-baked idea from an overly-crusty brain...

[Avatar]

I've always known it as "...there'd be no room in the river for water."

--A

[DoctorGamgee]

...the oceans would team.

(at least that's how I've always heard it).

[Linna Heartbooger]

Niice, guys...

..though I am continually bugged by wf's ability to deadpan over the internet so convincingly.

which would also support the mental process of choosing "loaf" as the counterpart to "fish" paralleling the relationship between wish and plan.

[sgt.null]

i always say

if wishes were horses
then beggars would eat

[Vraith]

the eldest of all my aunts [whom I resemble in tongue, I've been told]
was known to say:
"If wishes were fishes...you wouldn't notice the subways smell like piss."

I've heard a ton of ends for the wishes were horses one. My favorite [another joke one] was:
"it would behoove you to be a blacksmith. And always wear waders."

[deer of the dawn]

I always laughed at the one that said, wish in one hand and [defecate, urinate, or the "clean" version, spit] in the other, and see which one fills up faster.

[sgt.null]

my mother-in-law has a great one...

"shitfire, and save matches"

[Vraith]

my mother-in-law has a great one...

"shitfire, and save matches"

That is a good one I've never heard.
I'm gonna test it out, when opportunity arises.

[Icarus Unfallen]

Remind me not to ask y'all for a light when it is time to spark up!

[sgt.null]

her mom also has

"charge it to the dust
and let the rain settle it"

I had to write a song using that.